Listening “No one cares to speak to an unwilling listener. An arrow never lodges in a stone: often it recoils upon the sender of it.”
Journal… • I am/ am not a good listener because…
The Wright Family Story • Sit in a circle, Indian style. • Each person takes one paperclip. • You will pass it to the person to your right or left any time you hear the word right or left in the story.
Listening and Hearing • What is the difference between listening and hearing? • How do you know if someone is listening to you?
Reflective Listening • When the listener mirrors back the thoughts and/or feelings the speaker is experiencing. • “Are you saying …” • “You seem …” • If the listener is wrong then the speaker can restate in a different way.
Listening Blocks • I must defend my position. • I’m looking for an entrance into the conversation. • I don’t have time to listen to you. • I already know what you have to say. • I know what you should do.
Active Listening • Ask questions, not with yes, no or one word answers. • Use appropriate eye contact. • Not if understand or ask for clarification. • Don’t cross arms or legs or lean back. • Lean slightly forward. • Facial expressions and tone of voice. • Be honest and sincere.
Listening Activity 2 Volunteers! • One person will be the speaker. • The other one will be listening. • The class is to observe the conversation and identify what distracting behavior each person is portraying.
Active Listening • Open-ended questions • Closed: Are you feeling bad today? • Open: How are you feeling today? • Reflection (paraphrasing) • What is reflection?
Practice • Pair up – one speaker, one listener • Interview partner for 4 min. • Interviewers job is to encourage partner to share information and feelings by using non-verbal signals and active listening. • Interviewer needs to find out where person was born, favorite subject in school, have they ever cheated on a test, and feelings about premarital sex. • Switch roles. • New interviewer needs to find out how many siblings they have, hobby, have they ever stolen anything, and philosophy on dating.
Evaluation • Each person report the results of their interview. • Evaluate your listening skills. • Were you distracted while listening? • Did you feel heard by your partner? • How did you feel in each role? • Do you feel like you know your partner better after this activity? • Was there anything you noticed during this activity that made you feel your partner was or wasn’t listening to you?
GOSSIP • What do you think about gossip? • Have you ever been hurt by gossip? • How does gossip require listening? • What do you think about people who gossip a lot?