editing n.
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  1. Editing A method of expanding, improving, and supporting students’ writing.

  2. Prompt Describe the focal point featured in the photo of your choice. Consider: Who? What? When? Where? How? Why?

  3. Typical Response to Editing Good job! Excellent! What else do you want? It’s done.

  4. Metacognition In summary, metacognition is thinking about thinking. “Metacognition refers to higher order thinking that involves active control over the thinking processes involved in learning.  Activities such as planning how to approach a given learning task, monitoring comprehension, and evaluating progress toward the completion of a task are metacognitive in nature. Because metacognition plays a critical role in successful learning it is important for both students and teachers. Metacognition has been linked with intelligence and it has been shown that those with greater metacognitive abilities tend to be more successful thinkers.” Holistic Education Network

  5. Messy Room My room is vey messy. It looks like a tornado went through it. There are toys everywhere. Clothes and garbage are on the floor.

  6. Why is this dull? How can this be improved? Discuss this with your group.

  7. The Messy Room Clothes wrestling on the floor, The shirts and pants pinning the underwear, The socks balled and stinky Sprinkled like black olives over the furniture In one corner The mangled Barbies gather. Malibu Barbie surfs a sea of headless Ken Naked Hawaiian Hair Barbie drowns In a mass of matted grass skirt Wadded with grape bubble gum That you had tried to save. A legless Skipper has skipped her last time. Legos crunch beneath your feet as you Proceed to the unmade bed, The bed you were supposed to make every day, If you were the kind of child That made her bed every day That put her toys away, And never drank milk from the carton When no one was looking. Barry Lane

  8. Why is this better? Discuss this with your group.

  9. Basic Toolbox Vivid verbs that show instead of tell Precise nouns that paint pictures for readers Sparing use of specific adjectives to enhance precise nouns, never to prop up weak nouns Selective use of lively adverbs to spice up vivid verbs Transitions to provide a smooth flow of ideas Varied sentence structure to enhance cadence

  10. Text Talk for Writing VV = Vivid Verb PN = Precise Noun SA = Specific Adjective LA = Lively Adverb TR = Transition SS = Varied Sentence Structure

  11. Mark Twain A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.

  12. SA An adjective has the power to transform a sentence. But, we can’t just stack them up into “assembly-line writing.” O’Conner My Mom’s new, large, blue Ford Expedition rides high above the other small, compact cars around us on the crowded, busy highway. The family sat down to dinner. The Hawaiian family sat down to dinner.

  13. LA “The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” Stephen King Use Sparingly I spoke quietly. The students prepared for science class. The students secretly prepared for science class.

  14. Sadler and Graham “A writer’s proficiency in translating intentions and ideas into well-crafted sentences can impact both the reader and the writer.” Overall writing quality improved after instruction in sentence combining techniques. Knowledge may decrease cognitive load.

  15. SS Vary Sentence Structure and Elaborate Prepositional Phrase Appositives Subordinating Conjunctions Participial Phrase

  16. Prepositional Phrase I will not attend the party. Without my mother’s permission, I will not attend the party.

  17. Appositive Phrase Ponyboy is the main character in The Outsiders. He is likeable and interesting. Ponyboy, the main character in The Outsiders, is likeable and interesting.

  18. Subordinating Conjunction Lila could not go to the mall. She had to finish her chores. Until she finished her chores, she could not go to the mall.

  19. Participial Phrase  Frank washed and polished the car. He developed sore muscles. Washing and polishing the car, Frank developed sore muscles.

  20. Zoom Lens Barry Lane calls it binoculars. Jeff Anderson steals Naden’s term and calls it the absolute zoom. Example: The Bicyclist raced. Zoom into the smaller nouns. Add an ing verb to each noun (participle)

  21. Bicycle Noun Participle Pedals spinning, pumping, turning Hands gripping, gripping handlebars Wheels spinning, splashing, skidding Face grunting, dripping Legs pumping, standing, grinding Sweat dripping, staining, soaking shirt

  22. The Result Legs pumping, sweat dripping, the bicyclist raced down the road. Look at your piece and try it!

  23. Peer Edit Switch your writing with your shoulder partner. Peer edit using the handy handout. Revise Share

  24. Evaluate VV _________________________________________ PN _________________________________________ SA _________________________________________ LA _________________________________________ TR _________________________________________ SS _________________________________________

  25. Peer Edit • Be kind. • Add a comment. • Sample Comments • Paragraph has a great thesis • Strong lead • You created a detailed picture in my mind • Great support (anecdote, quote, simile, etc.)

  26. Works Cited Anderson, Jeff. Mechanically Inclined: Building Grammar, Usage, and Style into Writer's Workshop. Portland, Me.: Stenhouse, 2005. Print. Caskey, Joyce. ElaborWrite.Tampa, FL: The Writers Institute, LLC, ND. Print Lane, Barry. Reviser's Toolbox. Shoreham, VT: Discover Writing, 1999. Print. "Metacognition - Thinking about Thinking." Holistic Education - Tasmanian WWW Site. Holistic Education Network, 20 Jan. 2011. Web. 18 June 2011. <>.