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Explore the importance of intimacy and sexuality in later life, including the impact of friendships, marital status, widowhood, and divorce. Understand the challenges and opportunities that arise during these transitions.
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Chapter 7 Intimacy and Sexuality
The Need for Intimacy Intimacy: being close to, being part of, and feeling familiar with another person – something we need at any age, young or old Emotional connections can be in achieved relationships (friends and lovers) or ascribed relationships (kin). The size of one’s social network is not as important as the quality of the relationships. Psychological well-being is enhanced by positive, supportive relationships that maximize a person’s potentials.
Friendship Intimacy • Friendships provide elders with: trust, honesty, respect, someone there when needed, acceptance and similarity of backgrounds and experiences. • Ironically, just when adults have more free time to spend with friends and loved ones, illness, disability and death may separate them.
Marital Status Marital status shapes roles, patterns of interaction, and social bonds. • It plays an important role in emotional and economic well-being. • Married, widowed, divorced, never-married and cohabitating older adults have different patterns of aging.
Later Life Couples Most older Americans are married and living with a spouse, but divorce rates among Baby Boomers (born 1946 – 1964) are higher than previous generations. Marriage or remarriage at ages 55-69 is less common now than 10 years ago. 78% of men 65 and over are married, compared to 56% of women.
Marriage Benefits Married people tend to have higher levels of well-being and health. Men gain greater health benefits from marriage than do women, with lower rates of coronary heart disease than single elderly men. Older married couples are happier, less lonely and more economically stable than single elders. Health status of those never married has improved for all race and gender groups. Spousal relationships become more important with retirement and disability.
Caregiving Caregiving can be deeply satisfying for both parties or exhausting and stress-producing. The emotional closeness of the couple affects caregiving, with conflicted couples having the most difficulty with the process.
Retirement Changes income, social status, identity Much easier transition if planned and voluntary Becoming more of a process than crisis Occupational regret occurs if retirees feel that they should have changed jobs along the way. Alters relationship of couple, with new schedules
Variations in Retirement Adjustment Adjustment seems positive when husband retires and wife is not employed. Less likely to be positive if wife is still working. Communication and equality of roles appear more important than retirement. Marital satisfaction declines after early years, then rebounds in later life.
Older Adult Singles: Widowhood At the end of the 19th century, the average length of marriage when one spouse died was 28 years; now it is over 45 years. 2/3 of women 75 and older are widows Widowhood becomes increasingly likely as one ages. Widows outnumber widowers 5:1 in the U.S.
Adjustment to Widowhood Childless widows lack kin-based support system. Social life is altered as you are no longer a couple. The longer the marriage, the more difficult the transition. Loss of spouse, confidant, sexual partner all at the same time Grief work: healthy confrontation and acknowledgement of emotions
Stages of Widowhood (Lopata) • Official recognition of the event (funeral and initial mourning period) • Temporary disengagement or withdrawal • Limbo (feelings of “What do I do now?”) • Reengagement in society with a new sense of individual identity
Support in the Widow Transition Families and friendships can have both positive and negative effects. Women in traditional marriages, who invested heavily in the role of wife tend to suffer most. Women with greater income, education and social activity levels tend to do better. Redefining roles and self-concept takes time to sort out.
Bereavement Support Organizations American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) has the Widowed Persons Service: Widowed volunteers offer support to newly widowed. Hospice programs Senior centers Churches
Gender Differences in Widowhood • Widowers • Less likely to move in with children • Less likely to have frequent interactions with relatives or close friends after loss of kin keeper • May need to learn housekeeping. • Widows • More likely to have been depleted by caregiving • More likely to have economic difficulties
Positive Outcomes of Widowhood New identities and interests on one’s own More flexible roles and chances for independence New opportunities for relationships
Older Adult Singles: Divorce Half of those over 65 have been divorced, with higher rates among Baby Boomers. Divorce is becoming more common for those 60 and over, as couples give up trying to fix their problems. It is traumatic; economically, emotionally and socially. Still carries a stigma of failure and shame Kin relationships are strained by grandparents’ divorce, with no guidelines to follow.
Older Adult Singles: The Never Married Never-married persons 65 and over constituted about 4% of the population in 2010. First marriages are not common in later life, at only 10% of marriages in older adults. Never-married are likely to be well-adjusted, self-reliant and independent. They have fewer close intimates.
Remarriage Remarriage in old age becoming more common. • More older people are divorcing. • Remarriage is more acceptable for widowed adults. • Senior clubs, personal columns and Internet dating are all becoming popular among single elders looking for partners.
Benefits of Remarriage Expands kin networks Stepparent relationships are less likely to be stressful Premarital agreements make expectations clearer. Some attorneys now specialize in legal issues facing older marrying couples.
Sexual Relationships and Sexuality Frequency of sexual activity may decrease, but interest remains. Sexual relationships and sexual satisfaction remain important in later life. Meanings of sexuality are influenced by: role models, historical cohorts, and culture. Sexuality includes developmental, emotional and biological elements.
Homosexual Relationships • Aging can be difficult, with both ageism and homophobia affecting the process. • Negative stereotypes, myths, and discrimination continue, with few positive role models . • Political and social change is coming, with greater acceptance of same-sex marriage. • In June, 2013, the Supreme Court ruled that legally married same-sex couples are entitled to the same federal benefits as heterosexual couples.
Physical Attraction and Youth Assumptions that only the young are attractive can become self-fulfilling prophecies. High self-esteem is related to healthy body image, regardless of age and gender. Social comparison is an important aspect of self-image.
Romantic Love • Romantic love in adulthood involves: • idealization of mate • consuming interest and passion • fantasy • desire for togetherness • Sexual function for procreation suggests sex is only appropriate if conception is possible.
Research on Sexuality Kinsey studies (1948, 1953) concluded that sexual activity declines with age, but included few older participants. Masters and Johnson (1966, 1970) concluded that body processes slow with age, but do not stop. Post-menopausal women are freed from possibility of pregnancy, and may find more satisfaction with lubrication.
Duke Longitudinal Study • Studied people into their 90s. • Found great deal of variation in frequency of sexual activities for both men and women. • Some men in their 90s were still sexually active. • One in 6 becomes more interested in sex with age. • Illness, psychological issues and lack of a partner can inhibit sexual activity.
Other Studies on Sexuality Sex is satisfying but less frequent. Unhappy marriages reduce sexual activity. Extramarital sex still occurs. Many report increased interest in activities other than intercourse. Sensation becomes more diffused. More information is available for those experiencing health or disability issues.
Sexuality in Special Circumstances The most common reason for lack of interest in sex is lack of partner. Institutional settings (nursing homes) may limit privacy due to staff discomfort. Romance or sexual interest among elderly may be considered funny or gross. Nursing home staff can be taught to be more knowledgeable, sensitive and accepting.
