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SESSION 1. Temperament and emotional needs. GROUP AGREEMENT. What ground rules do we want in this group to help it run smoothly?. TIME OUT FOR PARENTS – THE TEENAGE YEARS AIMS TO:. Increase your confidence in your skills and abilities to ‘parent’
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SESSION 1 Temperament and emotional needs
GROUP AGREEMENT What ground rules do wewant in this group to help it run smoothly?
TIME OUT FOR PARENTS – THE TEENAGE YEARS AIMS TO: • Increase your confidence in your skills and abilities to ‘parent’ • Help the relationship between you and your child be even better than it is now • Teach skills for helping your children to be more secure emotionally and to raise their self-esteem • Identify the best way to effectively discipline your child
TIME OUT FOR PARENTS – THE TEENAGE YEARS AIMS TO: • Discuss a variety of issues affecting children and their parents • Encourage mutual support • Give you tools to help you in your relationship with your child’s other parent or carer • Provide you with greater support where you would like it
SESSION PLAN • The goal of parenting • Temperament and its impact on behaviour • Meeting emotional needs • The five love languages
THE GOAL OF PARENTING To prepare our children for adulthood so they can cope in the outside world.
TEMPERAMENT What is temperament? The traits or characteristics you were born with that influence how you behave.
EVERY CHILD HAS A UNIQUE TEMPERAMENT Their temperament affects the way they act: • How well they adapt to new situations • How easily distracted they are • How sensitive they are
TEMPERAMENT Temperament can be modified but not completely changed. Some temperaments are genuinely much more difficult to cope with for both child and parent, especially if there are additional stresses or challenges.
WHAT CHILDREN REALLY NEED • To feel loved and to belong • To feel good about themselves • To feel they’re good at something • To have some boundaries
EMOTIONAL NEEDS • Respect • Support • Comfort • Approval • Security • Acceptance • Attention • Appreciation • Encouragement • Affection
LOVE LANGUAGES • Words of affirmation • Physical touch • Quality time • Acts of service • Gifts
REFLECTION • We have got to know each other a bit. • We have compiled a group agreement. • I have explained the aims of the course. • We have thought about the goal of parenting. • We have explored temperament. • We have looked at meeting children’s emotional needs. • We have looked at the five love languages.
FOCUS FOR THE WEEK • Pick one of your child’s emotional needs that you will actively try to meet for your child this week. Identify specific ways you can try to meet this need. • Do something nice for you (or you and your partner).
NEXT WEEK We will be looking at why it’s tough being a teenager.
SESSION 2 Why it’s tough being a teenager
SESSION PLAN • Why it’s tough being a teenager • Supporting our teenagers • Identity and independence • Staying connected • Boosting our teenagers’ self-esteem
WHY IT’S TOUGH BEING A TEENAGER • What are the pressures they face? • How can we help them?
SUPPORTING OUR TEENAGERS How can we help our teenagers with physical changes, school issues and emotional and social changes?
IDENTITY • Who am I? • Who do I want to be? • Which group do I fit into? • What am I good at?
WHERE DO YOUNG PEOPLE SEEK THEIR IDENTITY? • Their role in the family • Status symbols • Celebrity and sports stars • ‘Grown up’ behaviour • Cliques and gangs
HOW CAN PARENTS HELP THEIR TEEN BECOME MORE INDEPENDENT? Controller toconsultant
GOOD SELF-ESTEEM A teenager with good self-esteem will be able to: • Take pride in what they do • Act independently • Assume responsibility for their actions • Tolerate frustration better
LOW SELF-ESTEEM A teenager with low self-esteem is more likely to: • Put down their talents and abilities • Avoid trying new things • Blame others for their shortcomings • Find it hard to tolerate frustration • Feel emotionally indifferent • Be influenced by others
REFLECTION • We have looked at some of the pressures teenagers are under today. • We have discussed ways we can support our teenagers with some of the issues they face. • We have looked at issues concerning teenagers’ identity and independence. • We have discussed ways to stay connected with our teenagers. • We have looked at ways of boosting our teenagers’ self-esteem.
FOCUS FOR THE WEEK • Spend individual time with one child doing an activity. • The activity is negotiated. • Try to give your full attention. • Both review at the end.
NEXT WEEK We will look at parenting styles and how the way we are affects the way our teenagers behave.
SESSION 3 Parenting styles
SESSION PLAN • Parenting styles • Consistency • Encouraging responsibility • House rules
PARENTING STYLES • It’s important to understand our own style as the way we are affects the way our teenagers behave. • Our parenting style is usually ‘caught’ from our own parents or caregivers. • Looking at parenting styles can be quite challenging. It may raise memories from the past as well as shed light on the present.
CONSISTENCY • Do you say “No” then back down and say “Yes” if your child persists by nagging or shouting? • Does one parent say “Yes” and the other say “No”? • Do you make threats to your children and not carry them through?
We will phone home if we’re going to be late. • Every family member needs to take a share of the household chores. • We treat each other with respect.
REFLECTION • We have looked at the different types of parenting styles. • We have considered the importance of consistency in parenting. • We have looked at ways of encouraging responsibility in our teenagers. • We have looked at house rules as a framework for what goes on in our homes.
FOCUS FOR THE WEEK A family meeting At home this week with your family, I want you to decide on some house rules. To do this you will need to have a family meeting. • Each person suggests one house rule • Can’t agree? Negotiate a compromise • Write up the house rules and display them where the can be seen
NEXT WEEK Next week we’ll be looking at ways to improve communication.