Gaming By the ranter, TheChrisD – thechrisd.com
What is gaming? • The art of playing video games on one of many formats. • In a way, the art of playing board or card games – but not as much. • It is not the art of playing Snake, or whatever iPhone app on your phone on those boring bus/train/tram journeys. • It also means something else (as in “to game the system”) but that’s not important right here.
The formats • Xbox 360 • PC • Nintendo DS • Nintendo Wii • Playstation 3 • …and other ones no-one else really gives a crap about
What is a gamer? • Generally a gamer is someone who plays video games - which can be broken down into four major types: • Casual gamer – The wimps • Hardcore gamer – Spends as much time as possible playing games. • Retro gamer – Boring old noobs. • Import gamer – Someone who really should just move to Japan already. • Pro gamer – Like the hardcore, only they make money out of it.
Becoming a gamer • Purchase your preferred format • With the exception of Nintendo consoles, come up with your handle/persona/gamertag: a genuinely annoying name using a combination of as many i’s, x’s, l’s and numbers as possible. • Join a clan or gaming group that contain the words “Pro”, “Uber”, “Leet/1337” or other similar important-sounding words in the title.
Achieving the mindset of a gamer • Compare everything to a well-known video game, and • Learn a wide vocabulary of profanities, and memorise key insult phrases. • Constantly brag about your skills, even when you have none whatsoever. • Over-react to every minor accomplishment you happen to make, in order to inflate your ego.
Retro Gaming Only good if: • Modern revamp or re-write (Ikaruga, Jetpac Refuelled) • Open Source version (OpenTTD) • ROM Hack (VIP series of Super Mario World hacks)