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Managing & Leading with NLP. WELCOME. Introductions. Your mission in education 1 thing you know about NLP 1 thing you’d like from the course 1 thing you’d like to tell us about yourself. An Integral Approach. INNER. OUTER. S E L F. PRO- FESSIONAL. PERSONAL. INFRA-

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introductions
Introductions
  • Your mission in education
  • 1 thing you know about NLP
  • 1 thing you’d like from the course
  • 1 thing you’d like to tell us about yourself
an integral approach
An Integral Approach

INNER

OUTER

S

E

L

F

PRO-

FESSIONAL

PERSONAL

INFRA-

STRUCTURAL

O

T

H

E

R

S

CULTURAL

Adapted from: Ken Wilber

A Theory of Everything

nlp guided tour
NLP Guided Tour

as if

4

P – I = P+

nlp is
NLP is …

Neuro our mind-body system and how it

works; how the 5 senses form the basis

of our thinking and behaviour

Linguistic how we use language to make sense of

our experience; how we communicate

our experience to ourselves and others

Programming patterns of thoughts and behaviours

that help or hinder us

nlp is1
NLP is …
  • A set of tools for excellent communication
  • & relationship building
  • A gateway to accelerated learning
  • A model for understanding the structures and patterns
  • that underpin human thinking & behaviour
  • A set of attitudes
the 4 stages of learning
The 4 Stages of Learning

1.

2.

3.

4.

Unconscious incompetence

Conscious incompetence

Conscious competence

Unconscious

competence

the mercedes model
The Mercedes Model

Our ever present internal states consist of:

THINKING

EMOTIONS

PHYSIOLOGY

nlp behavioural frames
NLP Behavioural Frames

NLP places attention on:

How ?instead of Why ?

Usefulinstead ofRight or Wrong

Outcomesinstead ofProblems

Possibilitiesinstead ofLimitations

say it the way you want it
Say it the way you want it

But >

Hopefully >

Try to >

I think I did .. >

And

Will

Will/Going to

I did …

Don’t think of a shining lighthouse

Don’t .. you can relax & enjoy learning

the communication of meaning
The Communication of Meaning

7%

WORDS

55%

38%

DANCE

MUSIC

Source: Mehrabian & Ferris

Journal of Counselling Psychology, 1967

the communication of meaning1
The Communication of Meaning

words

7%

music

55%

38%

dance

Source: Mehrabian & Ferris

Journal of Counselling Psychology, 1967

the inner game
The Inner Game

P – I = P +

Potential minus Interference =

Enhanced Performance

slide14
C > E

Cause > Effect

Results > Excuses

Responsibility > Blame

Actor > Victim

“Perception is projection”

~ Carl Jung

key presuppositions of nlp
Key Presuppositions of NLP
  • The map is not the territory
  • People have all the resources they need
  • There’s no failure, only information
  • All behaviour has a positive intention
  • The meaning of the message is the response you get
3 components of success
3 Components of Success

DRIVE HARD WORK FLEXIBILITY

AMBITION LUCK CHARISMA

BLOODY MINDEDNESS OUTCOME

EMPATHY KNOWLEDGE GREED

INFLEXIBILITY AWARENESS SPONSOR

CHARM TOLERANCE DETERMINATION

the three pillars of nlp
The Three Pillars of NLP

Outcome: Knowing what you want helps you get it

Awareness: Keep all your senses open & alert to responses

Flexibility: If what you’re doing isn’t working …

AKA: The SUCCESS STRATEGY

stepping up down 1
Stepping Up & Down 1

“If you got X, what would it give you?

do for you?

make possible for you?”

GOAL

“I want to …”

What stops you?

What would you like instead?

stepping up down 2
Stepping Up & Down 2

Concept:

An example of thinking at different logical levels

An example of hierarchical thinking

Upwards to abstraction & generalisation

Downwards to precision & detail

Principles:

Life is systemic – everything connects to …

Clear bright future pictures motivate

Precise analysis highlights blocks in our thinking

stepping up down 3
Stepping Up & Down 3

Processes:

Q & A

Language Patterns

Chunk Up

Chunk Down

Procedures:

Get rapport

Check clarity of outcome

Use template questions

Write down key answers

Feel free to stick to procedure

poacher
Poacher

POSITIVE State what you want

OWNERSHIP Is it your responsibility?

ACHIEVABLE What will you SEE HEAR FEEL?

others

CONTEXT Who do you want this with? Locations?

At what times? BY WHEN?

HOWEVER Who not with? Where not? When not?

ECOLOGY What will you gain? What will you lose?

Is it worth it?

What will others gain? What will they lose?

Is it worth it?

RESOURCES Resources to Start, Achieve, & Maintain???

well formed outcomes 1
Well Formed Outcomes 1

Concept:

Patterning the brain through mental rehearsal

& the search for possibility

Presupposes we can take control over our future

Principles:

Knowing what you want helps you get it

You have all the resources you need

Behaviour is the most reliable feedback

Life is systemic

IS/IP/EB

well formed outcomes 2
Well Formed Outcomes 2

Processes:

Q & A

Understand relevant criteria

Check all criteria are met

If not, reframe or change your outcome

Feel free to stick to process questions

Procedure:

Establish rapport

Be clear about outcome – mine/yours

POACHER model

the 8 codes we live by
The 8 Codes We Live By

8. COMPLEX UNITY

6. CONSENSUS

4. OBEDIENCE

2. TRIBE

7. CONNECTIVITY

5. REASON

3. POWER

1. SURVIVAL

Vertical Development

day two backtrack frame
Day Two ~ Backtrack Frame
  • learnings from Day 1
  • A from each group
  • NLP attitudes ~ report

as if

calibration skills
Calibration Skills
  • Major indicators of state change:
  • breathing
  • muscle tone
  • skin coloration
  • eye focus & accessing
  • lip colour & fullness
  • posture
  • hand & foot movements
calibration 1
Calibration 1

Concept:

is an example of pattern detecting

requires skills for measuring & comparing

Principles:

Mind-body is one system

All behaviour is observable

You cannot not communicate

NVC is the highest quality feedback

Mercedes Model

Stimulus > Response > State change

calibration 2
Calibration 2

Processes:

Stimulus > Response

Observe > Calibrate >

Compare > Check

Use sensory based evidence,

not assumption

Procedure:

Establish rapport

Work with 3 contrasting states

Use OCCC format [above]

states 1
States 1

Concept:

Your current state of ‘being;’ the attitudes you

currently use to filter and understand your ‘reality’

How you feel at any given moment

Principles:

Mind-body is one system

You can control your state

You can change your state and that of others

Mercedes Model

states 2
States 2

Processes:

Establish rapport

Elicit an experience in order to notice

its structure

Contrast two or more different experiences

Calibrate each response

Break state

Repeat & Test

sensory preferences
Sensory Preferences

V isual

A uditory

+ +

K inaesthetic

O lfactory

G ustatory

eye accessing patterns 10
Eye Accessing Patterns 10

For a normally wired up person:

Visual Visual

Construct Recall

Auditory Auditory

Construct Recall

Kinaesthetic

Auditory [Aid]

multiple perspectives
Multiple Perspectives

Me

I

You

Other

1st

2nd

3rd

More neutral

Dispassionate

Distant

accelerated learning
Accelerated Learning

What’s in it for me?

WIIFM?

vakog

Individualise learning strategies.

Nose out the meaning.

Nail down the memory.

Express your learning.

Review the process.

W

I

N

N

E

R

the structure of learning
The Structure of Learning

Stuff to be learned

Learner’s needs

Learning ~ How?

State

Attitude [Purpose]

Specific Questions

Sequence/Pattern

Step by step [chunks]

Strategies:

Sensory/Active

Learner style

Relationship

Self esteem

Responsibility

Models

Control

Choice

day three backtrack frame
Day Three ~ Backtrack Frame
  • learnings from Day 2
  • A from each group
  • Report on homeplay
kolb mccarthy learning styles
Kolb/McCarthy Learning Styles

CONCRETE

[35%]

[25%]

‘WHAT IF’ QUADRANT

‘WHY’ QUADRANT

‘Where can I apply this?’

‘What’s in it for me?’

Teacher role: COLLEAGUE

Teacher role: MOTIVATOR

REFLECTIVE

ACTIVE

OBSERVER

PARTICIPATION

‘WHAT’ QUADRANT

‘HOW’ QUADRANT

‘How does this work?’

‘What are the facts?’

[18%]

[22%]

Teacher role: COACH

Teacher role: TEACHER

ABSTRACT

the structure of success 3 pillars
The Structure of Success [3 Pillars]

Outcome: Knowing what you want helps you get it

Awareness: Keep all your senses open & alert to responses

Flexibility: If what you’re doing isn’t working …

the structure of influence
The Structure of Influence

Outcome: Knowing what you and others want helps

you both win

Awareness: Keep all your senses open & alert to responses

Flexibility: If what you’re doing isn’t working …

Add Rapport = The Structure of Influence

1 1 rapport skills
1 – 1 Rapport Skills

Physiology: nvc, posture, expression, gesture etc

Voice: tone, speed, volume, etc

Sensory Language & Backtracking

Breathing

Energy, mood, knowledge, values & beliefs

rapport 1
Rapport 1

Concept:

Rapport is a state in which two or more people

develop a channel of attention to each other

through which information can flow

Principles:

We like people who are like us

Behaviour is the highest quality feedback

Life is systemic

Rapport is non-judgemental

rapport 2
Rapport 2

Processes:

OAF

Calibration

Eye movements

Uptime/downtime

Match/mismatch

Language Predicates

1st & 2nd Positions

Procedures:

1. Listen > Pace > Listen > Pace > Listen > etc

2. Pace > Pace > Pace > Lead > Pace > Lead > Lead …

pace and lead
Pace and Lead

Pace a person’s or group’s

mood, energy, knowledge,

behaviour, values, beliefs etc

Continue to pace

Start to lead

They respond

They don’t

respond

Continue to

lead

How do you test for rapport?

building rapport with groups
Building Rapport with Groups

Shared outcomes

Touch all bases

Pace & Lead

Share the ‘picture on the box’

General > Specific – use real world examples

Demonstrate relevance and benefits: WIIFM?

Be authentic

Stories, analogies, metaphors, creativity

Listen, validate, respect

anchoring 1
Anchoring 1

Processes:

Identify an LTR situation

Identify a powerful resource

Calibrate to peak of response

Anchor to well formed criteria

Well formed criteria for anchoring:

1. Outstanding memory [stimulus]

2. Purity: exact state you want

3. Site is unique & easily replicable

4. Fully associated into K state

5. Anchor at peak of intensity

anchoring 2
Anchoring 2

Procedure Stage 1:

1. Think of an LTR situation in which you would like

to have more resources.

2. Think of a powerful resource you would like to have

in this situation.

3. Recall a time, in any context, when you had this resource.

4. Allow yourself to fully re-experience it as if happening NOW

What are you seeing, hearing, [O & G?] and FEELING?

5. Calibrate to peak of experience.

6. Break state.

anchoring 3
Anchoring 3

Procedure Stage 2:

Decide on a location for your anchor

Re-experience the memory

As the K response builds to a peak FIRE YOUR ANCHOR!

[hard enough so brain-body notices]

Let go at peak of the experience

Fully break state

TEST: fire your anchor and notice the response

Yes: congratulate yourself, you have an anchor

No: repeat phase 1 fulfilling all well-formed criteria

anchoring 4
Anchoring 4

Concept:

State management

“ … is any stimulus that achieves a consistent response”

Principles:

Mind-body is one system

Pavlov: behavioural conditioning

Stimulus > response

Calibration: self & other

Mercedes model

Any significant memory will evoke a powerful

kinaesthetic response

day four backtrack frame
Day Four ~ Backtrack Frame
  • learnings from Day 3
  • A from each group
  • Report on homeplay
timeline 1
Timeline 1

Concept:

Time is an abstraction

A time line is an abstraction of an abstraction

The unconscious mind processes symbolically

Principles:

There is no other time but NOW

Past & future are no more than sensory codings

The mind cannot tell the difference between what

is real and what is imagined

The unconscious stores all past experiences

timeline 2
Timeline 2

Processes:

Create a timeline & a metaposition

Access resourceful states

Bring resources from past into present and future

Procedures:

See Manual p 54

PAST NOW FUTURE

Meta-position [off time-line]

feedback
Feedback

Why are you so …rude?

stubborn?

difficult?

etc?

Why are you such a …$!?*>#!?

Are these examples of feedback based on behaviour

or identity?

the feedback model
The Feedback Model

saw

1. What I heard was … + description of behaviour

noticed

2. And it made me feel … + description of effect

3. And what I suggest is … + at least one example of

an acceptable alternative

perceptual positions 1
Perceptual Positions 1

Concept:

We do not deal with ‘reality’ directly but indirectly

via our nervous system & sense receptors …

The map is not the territory [Korzybski 1993, 1994]

Principles:

Walk a moon in my moccasins if you want to know me

Perspective

‘Physicalisation’ of thought

Spatial perception

Association & Dissociation

perceptual positions 2
Perceptual Positions 2

Processes:

Creativity: seeing differently

Shifting perspectives on 2D drawings

See the world from 3 perspectives

Procedures:

Establish rapport

Brainstorm possible interpretations

Challenge & be open to

interpretations of others

vague communication
Vague Communication

Surface

Structure

Deep Structure

3 Processes operating

between deep and

surface structure:

  • Deletion
  • Generalisation
  • Distortion

Noam Chomsky: Transformational Grammar

vague language 1
Vague Language 1

ADVIL

Nothing

is proven to

work more effectively

Painkiller advertisement on London Underground

vague language 2
Vague Language 2

How many Fs in the following sentence?

The Friends’ Provident Society of East Fakenham

found fifteen types of error in their first quarter

accounts of nineteen fifty five.

vague language 3
Vague Language 3

Pat O’Reilly, the MD of Blackrock

Engineering Co. [Cork] summoned

Jo the senior secretary

into the boardroom

vague language 4
Vague Language 4

A woman without her man is nothing.

A woman without her man, is nothing!

A woman. Without her, man is nothing!

A woman without. Her man is nothing.

the meta model exquisite questions
The Meta-Model: Exquisite Questions
  • Reasons for using the Meta-Model:
  • Precision
  • Elicit/explore below the surface of communication
  • Reconnect with experience
  • Change blame culture/take responsibility
  • Trigger positive change
deletion
Deletion

“What’s missing from this communication

that I need to know about?”

5 Key Types:

Vague subject

Vague verb

Vague comparison

Opinion stated as fact

Nominalisation

vague subject vague verb
Vague Subject/Vague Verb

He gave it to her.

They’ll be here soon

I like beans

It was given to her

Suzie went to Paris

My boss insulted me

John touched Pam

He gave it to her.

They’ll be here soon

I like beans

It was given to her

Challenge with:

What, when, which,

where, by who[m]

…. specifically?

******************

Challenge with:

How?

In what way… specifically?

Suzie went to Paris

My boss insulted me

John touched Pam

comparative deletion opinion
Comparative Deletion/Opinion

New Buffo, now even better

I want to be a more caring coach

I want to feel less pressured

I need to improve my coaching

Challenge with:

How much better?

Better than what, when,

where, whom, etc?

On a scale of 1 – 10 …?

New Buffo, now even better

I want to be a more caring coach

I want to feel less pressured

I need to improve my coaching

*****************************

[Obviously], that won’t work.

[Clearly], school is a waste of time.

Management is crap around here.

Challenge with:

According to who? Who sez?

Judged by what criteria?

What leads you to say that?

nominalisation
Nominalisation

Turn noun

form back

to a verb

Thing >

process

Education

Knowledge

Communication

Relationship

Coaching

Management

Educate

Know

Communicate

Relate

Coach

Manage

I’m having problems with my relationship

Nobody gives me any respect

I can’t get no satisfaction

generalisation
Generalisation

Is this an example of one experience being

taken as true for all such experiences?

Or an example of the speaker’s model

of the world extending to everybody else’s?

3Types:

Universals

Limitations: what is and isn’t possible

Drivers: personal rules and regulations

universals limitations
Universals/Limitations

It’s always difficult to learn

All teams present problems

Everybody thinks I’m boring

Challenge with:

Has there ever been a time

when … ? Always …?

Seek exception

It’s always difficult to learn

All teams present problems

Everybody thinks I’m boring

************************

Challenge with:

What would happen if

you could?

What’s stopping you?

I can’t learn easily

It’s impossible to work with X

These results can’t be improved

I can’t learn easily

It’s impossible to work with X

These results can’t be improved

drivers
Drivers

I must deliver this to deadline

I ought to be civil to my team

I should defer to my boss

I need to work longer hours

must, mustn’t, should,

shouldn’t, need to,

ought to, ought not to,

have to

Challenge with:

What would happen if you did/didn’t?

Check the validity of the rule. Is it useful or not?

Often these rules were installed by parents/authority figures

when young and have never been upgraded.

framing
Framing

Framing is setting the scene

Some Types of Frame:

Backtrack Outcome

Evidence Relevance

Ecology Discovery

Future Pace Time

some examples of framing
Some Examples of Framing

A story/metaphor: Bateson’s dolphin

A Case History: Eddie

Linguistic: Framing is easy

Problem or challenge?

Convincers: Advil

Experience: Ever been a time when … ?

Wouldn’t it be useful to …?

reframing
Reframing

Reframing is changing the scene

Reinterpretation: What else could this mean?

New Perspective: I had a boss once who …

I had a client once who …

2nd or 3rd Position: How would this look from Mars?

Linguistic: There’s too much change!

Company X didn’t change at

all and now they’re bankrupt.

metaprogrammes 1
Metaprogrammes 1

Concept:

Personal Value Patterns

How we sort and filter information

Values/criteria that operate at an unconscious level

Principles:

Language is a secondary representation of experience

You cannot not communicate

cf. MBTI/Jung – indicators of personality type

Help predict state - Mercedes Model

Key rapport tool

NOT a labelling device/right or wrong

metaprogrammes 2
Metaprogrammes 2

Processes:

Pay attention to language patterns

Procedures:

Activity >

write or speak

read or listen

share and compare

some key metaprogrammes
Some Key Metaprogrammes

GENERAL SPECIFIC

INTERNAL EXTERNAL

TOWARDS AWAY FROM

OPTIONS PROCEDURES

SAMENESS DIFFERENCE

THING PEOPLE

key elicitation patterns
Key Elicitation Patterns

Listen for amount of information & trigger words

General – Specific:

How do you know X? Where do you know that?

Internal – External:

Why is X important to you? What’s important …?

Towards – Away From:

Why did you choose/decide to X?

Options – Procedures:

What’s the relationship between X and Y?

Same – Difference:

Notice where attention is placed

Thing – People:

convincer pattern 1
Convincer Pattern 1

A two step process

1. Gathering Information [Convincer Channels]

What would have to happen for you to be

convinced that X is for you?

  • See
  • Hear
  • Read
  • Do
convincer pattern 2
Convincer Pattern 2

2. Convincer Mode [Clinching the Deal]

  • Number of examples
  • Duration
  • Consistent
  • Automatic
metaprogramme elicitation
Metaprogramme Elicitation

What’s important to you when …..ing?

Elicit key criteria

Why is …. [each criterion] important for you?

Towards/Away from

How would you know if you did well?

Internal/External

Why did you choose your … ?

Options/procedures

What’s the relationship between … ?

Same/Difference

How do you know X is worth investing in?

Convincer channel

How manytimes would you have to …?

Convincer mode

day five backtrack frame
Day Five ~ Backtrack Frame
  • learnings from Day 4
  • A from each group
  • Report on homeplay
planets
Planets

mercury

pluto

mars

venus

neptune

earth

saturn

jupiter

uranus

structure of memory
Structure of Memory

SUCCESSFUL MEMORY =

Effective Sensory Encoding plus

mental review/rehearsal/repetition

SM = ESE + MR

Strategies:

Contextualise

Associate

Use mnemonics

Search out a meaning

Engage multiple intelligences

Step down & rebuild

Use your senses:

Visualise & imagine

Add sounds & repeat verbally

Konnect with feelings

O, do it again/act it out!!!

GO for tastes & smells???

distortions
Distortions

“Is the speaker really taking responsibility

for their experience?”

4 Main Types:

Mind Reading

Blame

Interpretation [Complex Equivalence]

Presupposition

mind reading blame
Mind Reading/Blame

Mind Reading: My boss hates me, I can tell

Challenge: How exactly do you know this?

What evidence do you have for this?

********************************************

Blame: My colleagues make me angry

Challenge: How does what they do make you angry?

How do you allow yourself to get angry as

a result of what they’re doing?

interpretation presuppositions
Interpretation/Presuppositions

Interpretation: She never praises me, she doesn’t appreciate

my work

Challenge: How does her not praising you mean she doesn’t …?

How do you come to make that connection?

What else might it mean?

**************************************

Presupposition: Are you going to tell me another lie?

Challenge: What lie do you believe I’ve already told you?

life levels
Life Levels

Beyond identity

Identity

Values & beliefs

Capabilities

& skills

Behaviour

Environment

Who else?

Who?

Why?

How?

What?

Where? When?

Who with?

the resonance pattern
The Resonance Pattern

Your mentors

You

FUTURE

brain basics
Brain Basics

Neo-Cortex

R

L

Limbic Brain

Reptilian Brain

Emotion

Creativity

Flow

Tone

Pattern

Big picture

Logic

Reason

Sequence

Word

Analysis

Detail

Immune system

Hormone system

Memory

Emotions

Flight or Fight

the magic number
The Magic Number …

The conscious mind can only pay attention to

Xchunks

of information at any one time.

~ George Miller

the magic number1
The Magic Number …

+ -2

The conscious mind can only pay attention to

chunks

of information at any one time.

~ George Miller

7

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