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Reflections. Molly Kellogg’s Step by Step Training 2013. Open ended questions Affirmations Reflections Summaries. OARS. Why reflect? What is reflecting? When to reflect? How to use reflections effectively. OBJECTIVES. Clarity of observation is possible

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Molly Kellogg’s

Step by Step Training



Open ended questions

  • Affirmations
  • Reflections
  • Summaries

Why reflect?

  • What is reflecting?
  • When to reflect?
  • How to use reflections effectively

Clarity of observation is possible

only when we are able to

suspend judgment.

…Shane Paul

what you do

Restate what you hear

  • Make a guess about meaning and say it as a statement
What you do…
what we do

Reflect what we guess

  • Takes a few seconds
  • Rephrase key insights
What we do…
you can reflect on

Body language

  • Tone of voice
  • One word
  • A phrase
  • An emotion
  • A whole concept or process
You can reflect on…
reflecting sounds like

You really dislike spinach

  • Cooking is not fun for you
  • You’re confused about how to chose foods
  • Ice cream helps calm you down after work
Reflecting sounds like…
reflecting sounds like1

You have a very busy work schedule

  • You do want to be stronger
  • You care a lot about your kids
  • You haven’t yet found a way to do that
Reflecting sounds like…
types of reflections


  • Double-sided
  • Reflection with a reframe
  • Reflection with a twist
  • Summary
Types of reflections…
when to reflect

After an open ended question

  • When client is thinking about change
  • When you hear ambivalence
  • When you hear strong feeling
  • When you sense resistance
When to reflect…
what to reflect

Change talk: desire, ability, reasons, need, commitment, taking steps

  • Ambivalence
  • Meaning/values/beliefs
  • Knowledge/experience
  • Short summaries
What to reflect…
what reflecting does

Checks assumptions

  • Maximizes information exchange
  • Conveys respect and empathy
  • Highlights and encourages change talk
  • Builds rapport
  • Helps us stay client centered
What reflecting does…
what reflecting does1

Reminds us that almost all the answers are in the client

  • Slows down the process when stuck
  • Helps clients see and work through ambivalence
  • Helps when you don’t have a clue what to do or say
What reflecting does…
powerful reflections are

Statements, not questions

    • Inflection goes down at end of statement
  • Brief, short and simple
  • Frequent, more reflections than questions
  • Focused on client
Powerful reflections are…

You can't fake listening,

it shows.

…Raquel Welch

practice reflecting

Observe what you do now

  • Choose a type of reflection to practice
  • Practice with friends and family
  • Find one new thing to reflect with each interaction
Practice reflecting…

Reflecting is something

to practice many times

until it becomes a part of

your way of being with other people.

…Molly Kellogg

Reflecting is somethingto practice many timesuntil it becomes a part ofyour way of beingwith other people.
reflection practice and discussion

Find a Partner

  • Ask: “What do you think about what was just covered with reflections?”
  • Reflect back on your partner’s response
  • Switch
Reflection Practice and Discussion