WEB-TEENS: WHAT EDUCATION DO THEY NEED?

1. WEB-TEENS: WHAT EDUCATION DO THEY NEED? Alberto Pellai, MD; PhD; Child Psychotherapist Milano State University

2. KEY POINTS • More and more children and teens use the website to explore their sexual curiosities, to get excited and to indulge in sexual fantasies • More teens get in touch with adults through Internet to be actively involved in sexual activities • The socio-cultural context contributes to decrease the alert and awareness towards sexual messages targeting young people that are dangerous and confusing at the same time.

3. KEY QUESTIONS • Can abusers take advantage of minors’ sexual curiosity and excitement through Internet? • Can a minor be reinforced by Internet to start a career as abuser of other minors? • How can we strenghthen prevention efforts? • What education is mostly needed on behalf of web-teens?

4. A CASE STUDY FAMOUS 33 YRS OLD ACTOR SEDUCES A THIRTEEN YEARS OLD GIRL MET ONLINE THROUGH FACEBOOK. His name is Alessio Saro but he is better known as Neuron and Billy Ballo, comic characters who have been popular thanks to many TV passages in Mediaset and Allmusic’s Programs, two Tv networks mostly popular among youngsters. Alessio Saro was arrested last Friday in Milano and charged for sexual violence on a girl who is only thirteen. He met this girl in Facebook, the famous social network.The actor took advantage of his popularity and charisma to indulge the girl into a series of lies told to parents so to abuse her without problems and limitations. He was arrested into his house, where he lives alone. In this same house the violence was consumed the first time on the night of the 6 th of april. The 13teen ys old girl has declared she is in love with the actor and agreed with him to be involved in a sexual encounter. The Italian law consider this as a crime because it is forbidden for every adult to have sex contacts with boys and girls who are under 14. The man and the girl met in Facebook, where the actor introduced himself with the name of Neuron, the same character who gave him popularity in occasion of TV shows.

5. A CASE STUDY - continues Both the man and the girl declared online their true age: but the man went on with his purposes, though aware of the young age of the girl. He actively made plans so to meet her. The night of their first sex encounter the girl left the house telling lies to her mother: “I’m going to spend the night at a friend’s house”. Actually, she spent the night at the actor’s house and then kept on being in touch with him through Facebook and making her conversations more and more sexually explicit. The actor through Facebook asked her to keep the silence about their night together and kept on meeting the girl in the following weeks. Many lies and things not clear brought the mother to discover the liaison and checking her daughter’s Facebook profile where she found their explicit dialogues which gave her confirmation about what was going on. A Medical Doctor confirmed that the girl had been recently involved in sexual encounters and with this medical certification the mother denounced the actor, who has been arrested and put under conviction. During the confrontation with the judge in charge of this case, the 13 ys old girl has taken the part of the actor, whom she says has been fallen in love with and reported plenty of lies to defend the man who is her abuser but she thinks is her very first love.

6. AVERY INTERESTING CASE STUDYTO OPEN QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT WE ARE WORKING ON HERE TODAY

7. FACEBOOK: the ambivalence of new media • FACEBOOK IS THE SOCIAL NETWORK: • allowing the contact between the abuser and the girl • BUT ALSO • allowing the mother to understand what was going on between the two.

8. TRADITIONAL APPROACH THE CASE HAS TO DO WITH THE PROBLEM OF LACK OF TECHNOLOGY EDUCATION IN YOUNG PEOPLE (they do not know the rules and hot to behave when they are on line) BECAUSE THE GIRL DID NOT RESPECT THE NET-ETIQUETTE’S RULES

9. NEW SUGGESTED APPROACH THE CASE HAS TO DO WITH THE PROBLEM OF THE TREMOENDOUS SEXUAL DIS-EDUCATION AMONG YOUNG PEOPLE POWERFULLY REINFORCED BY NEW MEDIA

10. WE ARE IN NEED OF A NEW EDUCATION LINKING: MEDIA AND TECHNOLOGY AWARENESS ABOUT RISKS AND DANGERS AMONG YOUNG USERS AND ADULTS SEX EDUCATION BOTH IN THE COMMUNITY AND IN THE WEB WORLD ALLOWING YOUNG PEOPLE TO CHANNEL THEIR SEXUAL CURIOSITY AND EXCITMENT INTO A PATH THAT IS AGE- DEVELOPMENTALLY APPROPRIATE AND NO-RISK

11. TEENS AS VICTIMS FIRST RESEARCH QUESTION WHERE IS THE PROBLEM? HAVE WE EVIDENCE LINKING TEENS’S ABUSE WITH WEBSITE NAVIGATION?

12. D. FINKELHOR’S RESEARCH • Two National Juvenile Online Victimization Studies (NJOV-1 & NJOV-2) National surveys of law enforcement arrests for online crimes with juvenile victims - NJOV- 1: Over 600 interviews about cases ending in arrests between July 1 2000 & June 30 2001 - NJOV - 2: Over 1,000 interviews about cases ending in arrests during 2006

22. SECOND RESEARCH QUESTION TEENS AS ABUSERS: DOES INTERNET INCREASES THE RISK FOR A TEEN TO BECOME A FUTURE PEDOPHILE? PEDOPHILIA IS A DISORDER THAT STARTS IN THE TEENAGE YEARS AND CONTINUES THROUGH LIFE PEDOPHILIA STARTS EARLY AND MOLESTERS WHO SEXUALLY ABUSE BOYS START THE EARLIEST. IN ABEL AND HARLOW’S SAMPLE, 53 PERCENT BEGAN TO MOLEST BEFORE 15 AND A TOTAL OF 76% SAY THEY HAD THEIR FIRST CHILD VICTIM BEFORE THEY WERE 20 YS OLD.

23. THE ROLE OF SEXUAL FANTASIES IN THE ONSET OF PEDOPHILIA FANTASIES COMING FROM EARLY CHILDHOOD EARLY EXPERIENCES ARE CRITICAL TO THE CHILD’S DEVELOPMENT OF ADULT SEXUAL INTEREST. THE TEEN’S REPEATED SEXUAL FANTASIES OF YOUNGER CHILDREN SHAPES THAT CHILD’S ADULT SEXUAL INTEREST IN CHILDREN

24. THE WEB-RELATED CYCLE CONDUCTING TO CHILD SEXUAL FANTASIES THE WEB OFFERS PLENTY OF IMAGES SATISFYING THE MINOR’S CURIOSITY THE MINOR IS CURIOUS AND EXCITED AND LOOKING FOR SEX MATERIALS ON WEB THE MINORS USES THIS MATERIALS TO ENERGIZE AND NURTURE HIS SEXUAL FANTASIES WHEN MASTURBATES THE MINOR MASTURBATES WHEN EXPLORING THESE MATERIALS

25. FROM FANTASY TO REAL ACTION ORGASM WHEN MASTURBATING REINFORCES POWERFULLY THE SEXUAL FANTASIES AND NORMALIZES “COGNITIVELY” THEIR CONTENTS AND IMAGINED ACTIONS COGNITIVE NORMALIZATION MAKES POSSIBLE IMAGINE TO TRASFORM FANTASIES INTO ACTIONS THE MINOR TRIES TO ACT IN REAL LIFE HIS FANTASIES

26. WHAT IF……. The whole cycle is generated through pedo-pornographic materials found on the web?

27. NORMALIZING PROBLEMATIC SEXUAL BEHAVIOR • The role of mainstream culture • The role of the market • The role of pop and MTV culture • The silence of the adults

28. The role of mainstream culture NOTES ON A SCANDAL is the story of Barbara Covett (Dench), a hard-nosed spinster schoolteacher, and her poisonous friendship with fellow teacher Sheba Hart (Blanchett). Barbara is thrilled when her lonely life is shaken up by Sheba's overtures of friendship, as Sheba invites her to share in family dinners, and opens up to her about her marital troubles and personal longing. Things reach a fever pitch when Barbara happens upon Sheba dallying in the art room with a 15-year-old student. She tells Sheba that she must end the affair at once, but decides not to report her to the school, and instead, to use her knowledge of the indiscretion to draw Sheba closer to her, and put her in her debt.

29. PUBBLICITÀ The role of the market

32. The role of pop and MTV culture

33. THE SILENCE OF THE ADULTS

34. A phenomenon always growing and changing

36. About child abuse images’ crimes

40. What to do:change approach and paradigm

43. Empower and educate parents and communities

44. DO YOU PERSONALLY KNOW THE ANSWERS AND HOW TO DEAL WITH MINORS’ INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL BEHAVIORS ? MAKE CLEAR AND SHARE KNOWLEDGE AND EVIDENCE ABOUT What Is Age-Appropriate or Developmentally-Expected Sexual Behavior And What Is Sexually Harmful Behavior

47. WHAT TO DO IF…… 1. ACT QUICKLY. ACTION IS PREVENTION. If you are worried that your son or daughter may be sexually harming another child, or if you suspect that your child is being abused, act now! Get help from a professional therapist immediately and develop a safety plan addressing the concerning behaviors. Prompt intervention also can get the sexually abusing youth the treatment needed to stop abusing and to grow up as a safe member of our community. 2. STAY STEADY. When speaking to children about your concerns, remember to stay calm and ask simple and direct questions. Listen carefully to the responses without suggesting answers. It may be useful to practice with someone else first and get support to help keep your own emotions in check. Recognize that confusion, guilt, and shame about abuse can make the conversation difficult, both for you and for the child. Acknowledge the child’s discomfort and offer praise for his or her courage to talk about a confusing experience. Remember that if it’s difficult for you to discuss your concerns, it is likely to be much more difficult for the child.

48. 3. GET SUPPORT FOR EVERYONE. Whatever is revealed, reassure them that you love them and that you are committed to helping them. Children will look to adults for reassurance that they will be all right. Keep reminding yourself that healing for everyone is possible. Children and adolescents frequently respond best to specialized, sex-specific |treatment when it is offered early and with the support of trusted adults. Sexual abuse affects all members of a family or group. The entire family, including the adults, are likely to need support. 4. BE PREPARED TO REPORT. Reporting the abuse to authorities is an upsetting prospect for many families. Yet, filing a report can be a first step to accessing support services. Children who are abused and their families need help to recover from their trauma. Anyone who is harming a child sexually also needs help and support to stop the behavior. Sometimes, in the most serious cases and depending upon the age of the child or adolescent, reporting may result in legal consequences. Although this can be a difficult process for everyone involved, when combined with specialized treatment, it may be the best way to prevent further harm and evenharsher future consequences.

49. 5. Make use of valuable lessons learned If you have been involved in helping a child cope with harmful sexual behaviors, your experience and knowledge about abuse and treatment may be extremely valuable to others. The opportunity to prevent sexual abuse does not end with the discovery of abuse. Use the lessons you have learned to educate others about prevention and to support other families facing similar concerns.

50. PROACTIVE PARENTING TIPS FOR COUNTERACTING THE SEXUALIZATION OF CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS - Limit exposure to sexual content in media and pop culture. - Keep up with children’s media and popular culture. - Get beyond just saying “no.” • Establish safe channels of communication with children • Have meaningful conversations with children about sexual issues. • Teach children how to have positive relationships. • Create a give-and-take process for working out problems together • Work cooperatively with other adults