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Chapter 6

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  1. Chapter 6 Love and Mate Selection Preview

  2. Chapter Preview Preview

  3. Topics • What is love? • Types of love • Components of love • How does love change over time? • How do we choose our mate? • Living together • Engagement and marriage Preview

  4. Chapter Questions • What do people really mean when they use the word ‘love’? • Why is romantic love so wonderful? • What does eroticism have to do with love? Preview

  5. Chapter Questions • How can adult love be dependent? • What does love have to do with being friends? • What does altruism look like? Preview

  6. Chapter Questions • So which kind of love makes marriage successful? • What does how well our needs were met as babies have to do with our adult relationships? Preview

  7. Chapter Questions • How do people’s attitudes about love change as they get older? • How do we find the person we want to marry? Preview

  8. Chapter Questions • How might the way I was raised affect who I choose to marry? • What personal qualities are important for a happy marriage? Preview

  9. Chapter Questions • How common is it for people to live together without being married? • What happens between wanting to be married and getting married? • What formalities mark the transition to being officially married? Preview

  10. 1st: Question 2nd: Study 3rd: Mark 4th: Question again 5th: Recite 6th: Check 7th: Restudy if necessary Guided Learning Process Preview

  11. Text Assignment Preview

  12. What do people really mean when they use the word ‘love’? A 1-2-3-4

  13. How has dating changed in America? • How did single people get together before the existence of dating? • How did courtship turn into dating? • What was dating like on early college campuses? A

  14. Why is romantic love so wonderful? How important is romance in a marriage? B – B 1

  15. What does eroticism have to do with love? • Isn’t love just another word for sex? • What does sex have to do with love? C 1-2

  16. How can adult love be dependent? What do we need from love? D – D1

  17. What does love have to do with being friends? Do we have to like someone we love? E - E1

  18. What does altruism look like? How is Fromm’s view of love different from others? F – F1

  19. So which kind of love makes marriage successful? What have researchers found out about the different kinds of love? G – G1

  20. What does how well our needs were met as babies have to do with our adult relationships? H

  21. How do people’s attitudes about love change as they get older? I

  22. How do we find the person we want to marry? • How does our childhood unconsciously influence what we want in a mate? • Do we look for a mate who can give us what we need? J 1-2

  23. How do we find the person we want to marry? • Do we choose a mate because we each have something the other one wants? • How do we narrow our options down to the person we will marry? J 3-4

  24. How might the way I was raised affect who I choose to marry? • How can marriage be affected when people of different socioeconomic classes marry? • Do people have to marry someone with the same education and intelligence level to be happy? K 1-2

  25. How might the way I was raised affect who I choose to marry? • How well do interracial and interethnic marriages work? • Can marriages between people who have different religions work? K 3-4

  26. What personal qualities are important for a happy marriage? • What personal traits does research show are likely to make marriage happier? • What about age difference? • What do we need to agree about to be happily married? L 1-2-3

  27. What personal qualities are important for a happy marriage? • How do our ideas about men and women and our personal habits affect whether we will be happy when we’re married? L4

  28. How common is it for people to live together without being married? • Why do people choose to live together without being married? • Does living together first increase the chances of having a successful marriage? M 1-2

  29. What happens between wanting to be married and getting married? • How can we know if we’re ready to be married? • What do couples need to do to be legally married? • What preparation is important for a successful marriage? N 1-2-3

  30. What formalities mark the transition to being officially married? • Why does there need to be an engagement period? • Why is the wedding itself so important? O 1-2

  31. Special Sections Preview SS

  32. Personal Perspective: The Big Wedding What are the pros and cons of having a big wedding? Preview PP

  33. Cultural Perspectives: Chinese Wedding Ceremonies How do Chinese rituals reflect their culture and values? Preview CP

  34. At Issue Today: The Lavish Wedding Why are weddings becoming so extravagant and expensive? Preview AI

  35. A Question of Policy: Marriage Incentives How are lawmakers seeking to decrease welfare costs? Preview QP

  36. Preview SS END

  37. Love • We define love according to our own experiences • Love = very large concept with many dimensions A

  38. A End

  39. Elements of Romantic Love • Passionate affection • Strong emotion and feeling • Desire to be together • Sexual attraction • Idealization and adoration • Altruism and unselfishness • Feelings of self-confidence B

  40. Romantic Love and Marriage • Romance brings us into possibly serious relationships • Conscious love = romantic feelings towards someone whose real nature we know • Romance can blind us to real nature B1

  41. B End

  42. How are love and sex connected? • Strong emotions cause physical arousal – hormones • Love and sex can be experienced separately – Reik • Casual sex different for men and women • Sex can be an expression of love C 1-2

  43. C End

  44. The “Need” for Love • Dependent love — someone’s needs are fulfilled by another • Why children ‘love’ their parents • Because their parents meet their needs D

  45. Maslow’s theory of love as need • Everyone has a basic psychological need for love • Love is defined as ‘meeting needs’ D1

  46. D End

  47. Friendship Love • Similar to companionate love • Friends truly like one another and enjoy each other’s company • Mature love includes liking E

  48. Friendship Love • Compared to romantic love: • More: • relaxed • secure • Less: • tense and anxious • possessive • emotional E 1

  49. E End

  50. Altruistic Love • Unselfish active concern for other • Fromm: Care Responsibility Respect Knowledge • Domination is opposite of love F1