Day Two

1. Writing Boot Camp Day Two

2. Paragraph Organization • Topic sentence • Need unity • Do not shift topic • One topic per paragraph • Smooth internal transitions • Concluding remarks/transition

3. Paragraph Organization • For Example Move • Writer makes an assertion and illustrates it with examples • Signaled with “for example” or “for instance” or “a case in point is . . .” • Summary/However Move • Writer sums up another person’s viewpoint in order to qualify or contradict it or to introduce an opposing view • Transition words like but, however, in contrast, on the other hand frequently used

4. Paragraph Organization • Division-into-Parallel-Parts Move • Umbrella sentence forecasts structure and creates a framework • Writer may ask a rhetorical question that implies the framework • Sometimes used sequenced transitions (First, Second, etc) • Can have an echolike repetition • Comparison/Contrast Move • side-by-side pattern > A then B • back-and-forth pattern > contrast A and B

5. Eliminate unnecessary determiners and modifiers • Clog up prose with one or more extra words or phrases that seem to determine narrowly or to modify the meaning of a noun but don't actually add to the meaning of the sentence. • Wordy • Any particular type of dessert is fine with me. • Balancing the budget by Friday is an impossibility without some kind of extra help. • More Concise • Any dessert is fine with me. • Balancing the budget by Friday is impossible without extra help.

6. Change phrases into single words • Using phrases to convey meaning that could be presented in a single word • Wordy • The employee with ambition... • The department showing the best performance... • Jeff Converse, our chief of consulting, suggested at our last board meeting the installation of microfilm equipment in the department of data processing. • As you carefully read what you have written to improve your wording and catch small errors of spelling, punctuation, and so on, the thing to do before you do anything else is to try to see where a series of words expressing action could replace the ideas found in nouns rather than verbs. • More Concise • The ambitious employee... • The best-performing department... • At our last board meeting, Chief Consultant Jeff Converse suggested that we install microfilm equipment in the data processing department. • As you edit, first find nominalizations that you can replace with verb phrases.

7. Avoid overusing expletives at the beginning of sentences • Expletives are phrases of the form it + be-verb or there + be-verb. • Ambiguous • Overuse or unnecessary use of expletive constructions creates wordy prose. • Example: "It is imperative that we find a solution." • More Concise: "We must find a solution."

8. Use active rather than passive verbs • Wordy • An account was opened by Mrs. Simms. • Your figures were checked by the research department. • More Concise • Mrs. Simms opened an account. • The research department checked your figures.

9. Omit repetitive wording • Watch for phrases or longer passages in your writing in which you repeat words with similar meanings. • Wordy • The supply manager considered the correcting typewriter an unneeded luxury. • Our branch office currently employs five tellers. These tellers do an excellent job Monday through Thursday but cannot keep up with the rush on Friday and Saturday. • More Concise • The supply manager considered the correcting typewriter a luxury. • Our branch office currently employs five tellers, who do an excellent job Monday through Thursday but cannot keep up with Friday and Saturday rush periods.

10. Examples of specific redundant word pairs • Some words imply each other • Finish implies complete, so the phrase completely finish is redundant in most cases • Ex. past memories, various differences, each individual _______, basic fundamentals, true facts, important essentials, future plans, terrible tragedy, end result, final outcome, free gift, past history, unexpected surprise, sudden crisis

11. Quotations • How to Use: • Don’t change spelling, capitalization, punctuation, etc. • Put quotation marks around the quote if it is four or fewer lines of text. • Use a parenthetical reference at the end of the quote. • Don’t end a paragraph with quote. • Use minimally.

12. Quotations • Introducing Quotes: • Need to blend with the sentence. • Create a context for the quote (name of source and title of source). • Use a signal phrase or verb: • Adds, argues, concludes, continues, defines, discusses, identifies, that, etc. • Ex. He continues to insist that . . .

13. Quotations • Mechanics of Quotes: • After a full sentence, use a colon to introduce quotation • Ex. Spinello asks an important question: “What . . . • Double quotes > replace internal quote with single quotation marks. • An omission in a quote is marked by ellipsis (. . .) • Parenthetical for quotation in MLA style: (author page #). • Note: For material that is quoted in your cited source, add “qtd. in” > (qtd. in Conant 305).

14. Quotations • Mechanics of Quotes Cont… • Block Quotes • Try to limit block quotes. • Are more than four lines. • Introduce quote with colon. • Indent quote one inch from the left margin and double space it • Don’t put in quotation marks • Put the parenthetical reference after the period at the end of the quotation.

15. Quotations • Examples: • According to Natalie J. McKnight, for many of these women, “suffering seems to be the sine qua non of their existence,” as this suffering would largely be perpetuated by mothers’ inability to achieve the maternal ideal (3).

16. Paraphrasing • How to Use: • Make sure you use your own words and sentence structure. • Don’t distort the sources original meaning. • Quote any words that are repeated from original source. • Use a parenthetical reference at the end of the paraphrase. (Author Page #)

17. Paraphrasing • Introducing a Paraphrase: • Make it clear to your reader when you are beginning to paraphrase. • Create a context for the source you are paraphrasing (name of source and title of source). • Ex. John Smith argues that. . .

18. Paraphrasing • Examples: • Despite common beliefs that EBB had a horrible childhood with a tyrannical father, her family was actually supportive (Avery 25). • According to Murray, students are frequently chastised by their teachers for not writing in the erudite manner that is idolized in academia (3).

19. Comma Use • Use a comma to separate the elements in a series (three or more things), including the last two. • He hit the ball, dropped the bat, and ran to first base. • If you don't use a comma (especially when the list is complex or lengthy), these last two items in the list will try to glom together • macaroni and cheese

20. Comma Use • Use a comma + a little conjunction (and, but, for, nor, yet, or, so) to connect two independent clauses, • He hit the ball well, but he ran toward third base. • One of the most frequent errors in comma usage is the placement of a comma after a coordinating conjunction.

21. Comma Use • Use a comma to set off introductory elements • Running toward third base, he suddenly realized how stupid he looked. • When an introductory adverbial element seems to modify the entire sentence and not just the verb or some single element in the rest of the sentence, put a comma after it. • Fortunately, no one in the bridal party was in that car. • Don't allow a brief introductory element to merge with something following it in a way that can confuse your reader. Try reading the following sentences without their commas: • Until the spring course lists will not be published.    Until the spring, course lists will not be published.

22. Comma Use • When a prepositional phrase expands to more than three words, say, or becomes connected to yet another prepositional phrase, the use of a comma will depend on the writer's sense of the rhythm and flow of the sentence. • After his nap Figueroa felt better. • After his long nap in the backyard hammock, Figueroa felt better. • When a sentence begins with an adverbial clause, put a comma after it. • Although we had reviewed the film twice before, we never noticed these details about the shooting. • As the day drew to a smoky end, the firefighters put out the last of the embers.

23. Comma Use • Use a comma to set off parenthetical elements (a part of a sentence that can be removed without changing the essential meaning of that sentence). • The Founders Bridge, which spans the Connecticut River, is falling down. • Appositives are almost always treated as parenthetical elements. • Calhoun's ambition, to become a goalie in professional soccer, is within his reach. • Eleanor, his wife of thirty years, suddenly decided to open her own business.

24. Comma Use • Use commas to set off phrases that express contrast. • Some say the world will end in ice, not fire. • It was her money, not her charm or personality, that first attracted him. • The puppies were cute, but very messy.

25. Sentence • A noun or pronoun functions as the sentence subject when it is paired with a verb functioning as the sentence predicate. • Every sentence has a subject and predicate (a verb that expresses the subject's action or state of being). • A subject can be a noun or pronoun that is partnered with an action verb. • The boy threw the ball. • Fragment: While the coach addressed the crowd.

26. Fused Sentence • Writers make this error by joining two independent clauses into a compound sentence withoutusinganypunctuation between them. • No punctuation between the two independent clauses causes them to "fuse" into an INCORRECT compound sentence. • Tom read the book Sally saw the movie

27. Comma Splice • Writers make this error when they try to separate the two independent clauses in a compound sentence with a comma alone. • A comma is not a strong enough punctuation mark to separate the two independent clauses by itself; thus, using it causes the clauses to be spliced together. • Tom read the book, Sally saw a movie.

28. Pronoun Agreement • Agree in number • If the pronoun takes the place of a singular noun, you have to use a singular pronoun. • If a student parks a car on campus, he or she has to buy a parking sticker. • Remember: the words everybody, anybody, anyone, each, neither, nobody, someone, a person, etc. are singular and take singular pronouns. • Everybody ought to do his or her best. • Neither of the girls brought her umbrella.

29. Pronoun Agreement • Agree in person • If you are writing in the "first person" (I), don't confuse your reader by switching to the "second person" (you) or "third person" (he, she, they, it, etc.). Similarly, if you are using the "second person," don't switch to "first" or "third." • When a person comes to class, he or she should have his or her homework ready.

30. Pronoun Agreement • Refer clearly to a specific noun. • Don't be vague or ambiguous. • NOT: Although the motorcycle hit the tree, it was not damaged. (Is "it" the motorcycle or the tree?) • NOT: I don't think they should show violence on TV. (Who are "they"?) • NOT: Vacation is coming soon, which is nice. (What is nice, the vacation or the fact that it is coming soon?) • NOT: George worked in a national forest last summer. This may be his life's work. (What word does "this" refer to?) • NOT: If you put this sheet in your notebook, you can refer to it. (What does "it" refer to, the sheet or your notebook?)