Week 6. Buddhism: theory of relationship and theory of development . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_relationship. An interpersonal relationship .
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Is an association between two or more people that may range from fleeting to enduring. This association may be based on limerence, love, solidarity (unity), regular business interactions, or some other type of social commitment.
How is it developed?
Interpersonal relationships are formed in the context of social, cultural and other influences.
The context can vary from family or kinship relations, friendship, marriage, relations with associates, work, clubs, neighborhoods, and place of worship.
They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and are the basis of social group and society as a whole.
How is Dukkhaformed?
Then,… those who concentrate on these studies may not realize that the un-trained mind creates all the troublesome.
These studies fulfill knowledge and degrees rather than mind practicing.
Interpersonal relationships are dynamic systems that change continuously during their existence.
Like living organisms, relationships have a beginning, a lifespan, and an end. They tend to grow and improve gradually, as people get to know each other and become closer emotionally, or they gradually deteriorate as people drift apart, move on with their lives and form new relationships with others.
One of the most influential models of relationship development was proposed by psychologist George Levinger. This model was formulated to describe heterosexual, adult romantic relationships, but it has been applied to other kinds of interpersonal relations as well.
According to the model, the natural development of a relationship follows five stages:
1 Acquaintance(= state of familiarization) – Becoming acquainted depends on previous relationships, physical proximity (=being close to each other), first impressions, and a variety of other factors. If two people begin to like each other, continued interactions may lead to the next stage, but acquaintance can continue indefinitely.
2 Buildup–people begin to trust and care about each other for intimacy, compatibility and common background and goals
3 Continuation–a mutual commitment to a long-term friendship, romantic relationship, or marriage - a long, relative stable period. Continued growth and development occur, mutual trust is important for sustaining the relationship.
4 Deterioration– Not all relationships deteriorate, but those that do tend to show signs of trouble (boredom, resentment, and dissatisfaction), and individuals may communicate less and avoid self-disclosure, loss of trust and betrayals, eventually ending the relationship.
5 Termination–the end of the relationship, either by death in the case of a healthy relationship, or by separation.
Then “Attachment” is formed. Success ones tighten the tie, the loss ones reacts towards positive or negative Kamma.
The four noble truths and the three yanas in light of relationships.
Applying the view of the three yanas could help.
What are they?
3. to love.Vajrayana
If the Vajrayana teachings are about meeting the circumstances of everyday life as a potential moment of transformation, then applied to relationships it could mean something like this: Every single thing that happens between you and your beloved is an opportunity to love more.
Just as no one can tell you how to make giving birth or spilling your coffee into an opportunity to attain enlightenment, no one can tell you how to do so when your beloved leaves you for someone else or fails to empty the dishwasher.
Big or small, heart crushing or annoying, delightful or irritating, no matter what happens, in the Vajrayana view it is fodder for wakefulness, for love.
And just as with Vajrayana meditation practices, you can read books about how to do them and even have a great person teach them to you, but at some point you’re on your own. You have to figure it out for yourself.
Buddhism for Development (BFD) to love.
The Community Based Human Rights Program of BFD
What are these ? and Why?
http://www.bfdkhmer.org/index.php to love.
HENG MONYCHENDA to love.
Founder and Director of Buddhism For Development (BFD)
HengMonychendais the founding director and visionary of Buddhism For Development, a Cambodian NGO dedicated to improving the rights and welfare of citizens especially those in rural and remote areas of Cambodia’s north-west and central provinces.
After living under the Khmer Rouge regime for nearly 4 years, HengMonychendamoved to the Cambodian-Thai border living with the many Cambodians in the camps. At this time Monychenda became a Buddhist monk a calling which followed for 17 years, from 1980 - 1997.
From 1985-1992 he held the position as Director of Khmer Buddhist Research Center in Site 2 refugee camp, aiming to discover the relationship between Buddhism and Khmer society, and determining the Buddhist way that would prevent tragedy from happening ever again in Cambodia.
While living at Site 2 camp, HengMonychenda began a life-time mission to bring peace, dignity and prosperity to Khmer community through innovative and effective social program. In 1990 Monychenda founded Buddhism for Development, aiming to promote socially-engaged Buddhism in Cambodia.
Working for a better society…. of the UN, he located Buddhism for Development at
Buddhism For Development is a national Cambodian NGO with approximately 150 Khmer staff operating in 7 provinces in the northwest of Cambodia and around the Tonle Sap lake districts. BFD promotes human rights, educates for democratic and well governed communities, and ensures better health and education of rural Cambodians.
BFD envisions an educated democratic society free from poverty and preventable illnesses, law abiding and respectful of human rights and the environment and a moral society with respect for Buddhism and Cambodian culture and traditions whilst being aware of the threats and opportunities presented by globalization.
BFD encourages, advises and provides services and support to Cambodians to participate in the sustainable socio-economic development of their own communities.
1 Theravada – Sri lnka, Thai , Combodia, Burmese and laos.
– developed more than Theravada, because lay man can reach and understand, closer to their real being. (Europe, USA, North & South African, Indonesia etc.)
- 250 rules for Bhikkhu and 348 for Bhikkuni) Morning God eats Afternoon Buddha eats and Evening hungry ghost eats. But sick monk can eat in the evening.
- Bodhisattva (58 rules)
- Theravada (227 rules)
3 Vajrayana – Spread from Mahayana (chanting = mantra)
- Vajra = diamond , difficult to break = diamond vehicle leading by Dalia Lama (now 14th) continue next life to be Dalai Lama again.
- Under Mahayana, but practice differently. Om… follow Hinduism.