Ending Workshop 2
Learning goal • Improve your ability to write a neat conclusion • Take out your weekend homework (the concept map)
Endings • Should leave the reader thinking. • Should reflect on or sum up your ideas. • It shouldn’t be long, nor should it contain new ideas.
An example – based on last class I don’t doubt that Wagner and Leunig are right. We should devote time to imagination and nature. We should free ourselves from the social pressures of reality. But it isn’t that simple. There are constant stresses and demands on our time that make it difficult to live in the moment. I’m going to do something different today. When the light turns green I’m going to go home, open the back door, take off my shoes and lie on the grass. No iPod. No newspaper. I’m just going to watch the clouds cross the sky. And I’m not going to stress about reality. • References my opening quote and the major text. • Inclusive language • Varies sentence length • My solution to the problems proposed in the intro. • Uses vocab of the prompt.
What else can you do? Simple sum up with question. There might be something to what Wagner suggests. Reality can be an amazing cause of stress. Leunig, for all his faults, is on the right track. The Dictator is constantly hounding us. How can I break free of advertising and all the stress the media causes? Leunig makes it sound easy but not all of us can withstand the social pressure of not fitting in. • Links to the opening quote. • Mentions the set texts as I’ve used it. • Poses a question for the reader to ponder. It isn’t rhetorical. It doesn’t answer it because it is a really difficult question to answer! • Uses the vocab of the prompt
An anecdotal closing – remember this intro? As I head home into the sea of read lights I flick on the radio and, once again, Pink Floyd is singing what I’m thinking. Why am I “Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day”? Stuck here, forced to go to a job I hate for a boss I don’t like. I could well be here for mere minutes – but anything that delays me can feel like forever. Why then do I stop? I feel pressured by the stop light to make sure I put safety above personal convenience. It difficult and near impossible to be completely independent of social pressure. On account of our family, friends and to most extents the media, as they are all factors that can shift our reality to a more accepted one.
Link the intro and conclusion using the same anecdote. • Returns to the anecdote • Includes another part of the song lyric • Reflects on the arguments presented earlier • Tries to suggest a solution in line with Leunig’s thoughts & big idea(control) • Links prompt to ideal As the light finally turns green I feel a sense of relief. The waiting is over. Pink Floyd finally finishes with “The time is gone, the song is over, Thought I'd something more to say.” I realise that I have been here mere minutes. Maybe that is what Leunig is trying to say. It is the plans that people make for you. The red traffic lights. The need to have an iPhone and twenty-four/seven email. The need to send my kids to Paris for an ‘authentic’ experience. Maybe the secret is to not have a plan. When I get home I’m going to feel the grass between my toes. Maybe I can’t escape the reality society determines for me. I certainly can’t quit my bloody job. What I can do is make sure time isn’t just ticking away. I can enjoy at least one genuine, pressure free, authentic moment.
End with a quote • Opens with a rhetorical question. • Links to examples I’ve used earlier. • Including outside sources. • Repeats contention, linked to prompt • Ends with a quote to reinforce this contention. My final thought is this – why can’t we take the time to escape social pressure? Leunig is right, we should all be like Jack The Cat. Free to be free, not at the mercy of the Great Dictator. There is, after all, a little bit of Tyler Durden in most of us. Social pressure can be damaging, we need to get out from the rigid expectations and find ourselves. For as J.R.R. Tolkien once noted, “Not all those who wander are lost.”
Simple ending Why I hit my brother that day is still a mystery. Where I got my rage from is not. (Prompt: Childhood is a mystery we only understand later.) • Uses language of the prompt. • Links to opening anecdote. • Short, direct sentences. • Answer is implied in the previous paragraph. • Big ideas: We construct our own reality. There are different versions of reality
Your turn • Having fixed up your Introduction let’s try it on the ending. • You must: • Include reference to your arguments/examples • Use the vocab of the prompt • Reference the big idea you’ve explored. • Use one of these methods to leave your reader thinking: • Anecdote • Quote • Question • Suggestion • Simple statement (tricky – the rest needs to be good!)