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CONVINCE ME! Persuasion Techniques That Get Things Done. Kevin Kline, SQL Sentry Director of Engineering Services Microsoft SQL Server MVP since 2003 Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn @ KEKline Websites: http://KevinEKline.com/ , http://ForITPros.com. Free Swag from sql sentry.

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Convince me persuasion techniques that get things done

CONVINCE ME!Persuasion Techniques That Get Things Done

  • Kevin Kline, SQL Sentry

    Director of Engineering Services

    Microsoft SQL Server MVP since 2003

    Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn @KEKline

    Websites: http://KevinEKline.com/ , http://ForITPros.com


Free swag from sql sentry
Free Swag from sql sentry

  • FreePlan Explorer download: http://www.sqlsentry.net/plan-explorer/

  • Free query tuning consultations: http://answers.sqlperformance.com.

  • Free new ebook (regularly $10) to attendees. Send request to sales@sqlsentry.net.

  • SQL Server educational videos, scripts, and slides: http://SQLSentry.TV

  • Tuning blog: http://www.sqlperformance.com/

  • Monthly eNews tips and tricks: http://www.sqlsentry.net/newsletter-archive.asp


Agenda
Agenda

  • Dispelling Some Myths

    • Introverts and Extroverts

    • Natural-born Leaders

  • Influence that carries weight

  • Three appeals that persuade

    • Logical: the Head

    • Emotional: the Heart

    • Cooperative: the Hands

  • Summary


Dispelling some myths
Dispelling Some Myths

  • How much do personality types effect influence and persuasiveness?

  • How much does innate abilities effect influence and persuasiveness?

  • In both cases, influence and persuasion are BEHAVIORS, not TRAITS.


Building influence
Building Influence

Remember the

Law of Reciprocity

Political

Capital


Technical competence
Technical Competence

  • Know the answers for relevant tech questions. Or know where to find the answers.

    • Have an opinion! Even if the opinion is “No opinion”.

    • Base opinions on shared values.

    • Present relevant information when appropriate.

    • Cite sources for backup.

  • Work harder than your peers.

    • Put in a full measure.

    • Stay focused.

    • Self-awareness, especially for strengths vs weaknesses.

  • Care.


  • Communicator
    Communicator

    • Know the value of B.L.U.F.

      • Strive for brevity, then ask “Want more details?”.

      • Know your audience.

    • Use relatable examples or analogies.

    • Keep ego out.

      • Remember, you’re communicating even when you

        say nothing.

      • Differentiate fact vs. value statements.

    • Stay focused.


    Listener
    Listener

    • Be respectful. Be “fully present”.

    • Good questioning skills involve:

      • Getting the specifics

      • Seek fact vs. value. Use open vs. closed questions.

      • Observing reaction

    • Good listening skills involve:

      • Acknowledging statements

      • Summarizing

      • Empathizing

    • Ninja secret: Understand the power of silence!


    Team builder
    Team Builder

    • Tout team successes, not individual successes.

    • Preparedness for “Leadership Moments”.

      • Emergencies – a “clutch” player

      • Periods of upheaval or dramatic change

  • An informed, but dispassionate and

    flexible opinion.

    • Knowing the options and their pros / cons

    • Open to other ideas / opinions

    • Knowing what the organization is trying to achieve

  • Leads to becoming the Go-To-Guy/Gal


  • Professionalism
    Professionalism

    • Lots of words:

      • engaged, competent, credible, accountable, honest, integrity, goal-oriented, autonomous, et al.

    • Care and respect:

      • Treating everyone as you’d like to be treated

        • Facilitate consensus and good decisions.

        • Mitigate conflict and confrontation.

        • Consistency and Constancy.

    • Personal presentation and Image:

      • Speech and dress

    • Don’t be “THAT GUY”.

      • Teach … with a positive attitude.


    Passive influence becomes political capital
    Passive Influence Becomes Political Capital

    • Build political capital, so that you’re more likely to sway decisions when you make requests or express opinions.

    • Aim for basic competency in:

      • Technical credibility

      • Communication skills

      • Listening skills

      • Team building

      • Professionalism

    • Train to overcome your weaknesses or get an ally.

      • One weakness generally isn’t an obstacle.

      • Two or more weakness can be a big obstacle.


    Direct influence also known as persuasion
    Direct Influence, also known as Persuasion

    • Swaying opinion through “appeals”:

      • Logical, a.k.a. “The Head”

      • Emotional, a.k.a. “The Heart”

      • Cooperative, a.k.a. “The Hands”


    Methods of direct influence

    Alliances

    Appealing up

    Call in a debt / favor

    Consultation

    Direct Influence / Persuasion:

    Methods of DIRECT Influence

    • Rational Appeal

    • Intimidation

    • Inspirational Appeal

    • Flattery

    Influence is like …

    banking…

    and physics…


    Logical head appeals
    Logical, Head Appeals

    • Rational Appeal versus Intimidation

    • When and How?

      • When your audience is rational

      • Build a case of rational facts

      • Make a careful SWOT analysis

      • Use a proposal or “suggestion” format (WIFM)

      • Make a pitch and then explicitly follow-up

    • Common mistakes include:

      • Too much detail/data without setting the big picture or major goal

      • Misunderstanding the interest of the audience

      • Failing to bounce the idea off of others ahead of time

      • Failure to align with the goals/needs of the audience


    Emotional heart appeals
    Emotional, Heart Appeals

    • Inspirational Appeal versus Flattery

    • When and How?

      • When your audience is motivated by values

      • Appeals to our “better selves”

      • Requires strong, in-person delivery

      • Make a pitch and then explicitly follow-up

    • Common mistakes include:

      • Insincerity or hypocrisy

      • Double-standards

      • Failure to follow-up and follow-thru


    Cooperative hand appeals
    Cooperative, Hand Appeals

    • Alliance | Consultation | Call in a debt / Favor

      • When and how?

        • When your audience is similarly inclined

        • Use WIFM or “Doing well by doing good”

        • Recognize the transactional nature

    • Appealing up

      • When and how?

        • Only in the face of serious obstacles or ethical breaches

        • Recognize the potential for “paybacks”

    • Common mistakes include:

      • Overuse

      • Failing to reciprocate

      • Only recognizing the transactional nature of the social bond


    Case study convincing the boss

    Communicating Upward

    Case Study: Convincing the boss


    Convince me persuasion techniques that get things done

    • Summary: Convince Me

    • Dispelled Some Myths

      • Introverts and Extroverts

      • Natural-born Leaders

    • Influence that carries weight

      • Credibility, Communicator, Listener, Team Builder, Professional

    • Three appeals that persuade

      • Logical: the Head

      • Emotional: the Heart

      • Cooperative: the Hands


    Resources
    Resources

    • http://www.ccl.org/leadership/index.aspx

      • My favorite leadership training organization

    • http://www.techrepublic.com/blog/tech-manager

      • Good on-line resource with lots of topical content and forums

    • http://www.sqlpass.org

      • Professional development vChapter

    • http://ForITPros.com

      • My professional development site specifically for IT pros


    Thank you q a time
    Thank you! Q & A time

    • Send questions to me at: kevin_e_kline@yahoo.com

    • Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn at @kekline

    • Blogs at SQLblog.com, SQLMag.com, DBTA.com

    • IT leadership and professional development content at http://ForITPros.com

    • Technical content and Slides at http://KevinEKline.com/Slides/

      THANK YOU!