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Communication. Imagine…. You have left your home to live in a strange country you might never have even heard of for before You are going to a school with students from over 80 different nationalities You are going to live together in a room with four people you have never met before.
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Imagine… • You have left your home to live in a strange country you might never have even heard of for before • You are going to a school with students from over 80 different nationalities • You are going to live together in a room with four people you have never met before
…and the struggles of communication Welcome to Red Cross Nordic UWC
Beginning a talk • Address the person with his appropriate name (full name, if necessary). • Show interest in the other person. • Give honest and sincere appreciation. • Make the other feel important. • Be a good listener. • Smile.
Allan Pease – Body Language http://youtube.com/watch?v=hpzC4ZWNy-U
Scenario • You are a vegetarian and think that the Cantina doesn’t provide you with enough nutrients. You are trying to convince them add more tofu, corn and beans to the vegetarian meals, even though it will be more expensive. • Discussion: How can you negotiate that?
Bringing forward your cause • Make the other person enthusiastic about your ideas. • Try to see things from the other person’s point of view. • Talk in terms of the other person’s interest. • Show respect for the other person’s opinion. • Try to make the other person say “yes, yes” immediately. • Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. • Appeal to the nobler motives.
Role Play • It is coming close to November Break. Unfortunately you cannot get into the mood yet because you still have to do a math portfolio, a history presentation, an English essay (…) until the holidays begin. To make matters worse your Economics teacher is now declaring that the big Economics mid-term test is scheduled for before the holidays begin! Obviously, you have no time for revision. • Pair up and try to convince her to postpone the test until after the holidays.
Scenario • You have been at the college for several weeks now and are generally doing fine. You like your roommates, but one of them just keeps forgetting to clean the bathroom. It is Wednesday and your roommate has not done it again. • Discussion: How do you address the situation?
How not to do it • Accusing. • Condemning. • Complaining. • Insisting on your own opinion. • Generalizing: use of the words “always” and “never” • Making the other person feel inferior.
Origins ofCommunication Problems • Sender – message - receiver
Four Ear Model • Example: Man and woman in a car. The woman is driving and stops at the traffic lights. Man: “The lights are green.” • What does the woman hear in that message? How does she feel?
Four Ear Model • Facts: The information in the message • Self-revelation: What the speaker reveals about himself. • Relationship: What the speaker reveals about the relationship with the receiver or the receiver himself. • Appeal: What the speaker wants to achieve with the message.
Competition • Definition: Competition is characterized by the need to win at all costs. It is a win-lose situation with the need to dominate.
Competition Competition is appropriate when: • Quick, decisive action is necessary. • The issues are important and unpopular actions need to be implemented. • The issues are vital to the team’s welfare and you know you are right. • When dealing with people who take advantages of non-competitive behaviour. • Other options are not possible.
Example • Somebody has been drinking on campus and John has found out about it. Obviously John cannot call in a vote whether that person should get a warning or not, he or she has clearly violated the rules and thus has to face the consequences. John is choosing the ‘competition’ method of conflict resolution.
Collaboration • Collaboration is characterized by a desire to satisfy all team members in a win-win situation.
Collaboration Collaboration is appropriate when: • You need to find an integrative solution and both sets of concerns are too important to be compromised. • Your objective is to learn. • You need to merge insights from people with different perspectives. • You want to gain commitment by incorporating concerns into a consensus decision. • You want to work through feelings that have interfered with a relationship.
Example: • You organize a fundraising café and different tasks have to be done. You present the different tasks and ask what each person in the group would like to do.
Avoidance • Definition: Avoidance is characterized by attempts to distract attention from the issue or ignore it completely.
Avoidance Avoidance is appropriate when: • An issue is trivial or more important issues are pressing. • You see that there is no chance to satisfy your major concerns. • You need to let people cool down and regain perspective. • You need more time to gather information. • Others can resolve the conflict more effectively.
Example: • You are the leader of an EAC and several people come late. You are angry, but it would be unfair to deal with the issue during the EAC time because it would waste the time of those who were punctual.
Accommodation • Definition: Accommodation is characterized by the desire to please others at the expense of a person’s own needs.
Accommodation Accommodation is appropriate when: • You find that you are wrong. • You want to show your reasonableness. • Issues are more important to others than yourself. • You want to build social support for later use. • You minimize your losses. • You want to allow other team members to develop by learning from mistakes.
Example: • You are performing a song in the Winter Show with several people. You would personally like to sing a cappella. The others are against the idea, but they go along with it. In the rehearsals it doesn’t seem to work out. Instead of forcing the others to continue with your idea, you let them do it their way, even if you still think that a cappella would be nicer.
Compromise • Example: Compromise is described by meeting the conflict at midpoint. Both parties in a dispute achieve moderate but incomplete satisfaction.
Compromise Compromise is appropriate when: • Goals are important but not worth the effort of disruption. • Opponents with equal power are committed to different means to a similar end. • You want to achieve temporary settlements to complex issues. • You want to strive at an expedient solution under time pressure. • You need backup because collaboration or competition is not working.
Example: • A group of students has a suggestion of how to improve the residential charter. The teachers have certain ideas of how to improve it, however, as well. Both parties have to get together and agree on a compromise that both sides would be okay with.
Tactics • Assess the need of an argument. • Begin in a friendly way. • Show respect for the other person’s opinion. • Be a good listener. • Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view. • If you are wrong, admit it quickly and empathetically.
Scenario • A roommate of yours is constantly bringing friends back to the room late at night. Unfortunately, you cannot sleep because they are too loud. • Tell your roommate that the situation is bothering you and solve the conflict so that both of you can agree with it.
Addressing Feedback • Begin in a friendly way. • Give honest appreciation. • Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. • Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view. • Call attention to the other people’s mistakes indirectly. • Use encouragement: Make the fault seem easy to correct. • Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. • Ask questions instead of giving orders directly. • Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
Role Play • Your roommate is struggling with his Extended Essay and wants you to have a look at it. Even though he/she has been working a lot, there are a lot of mistakes in it. • How do you give feedback to him in a positive way?
