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Chapter 6. Talk and Interpersonal Relationships. This Chapter Discusses:. How communication meets your psychological and other needs How communication can build intimacy and relationships How communication can also decrease intimacy and relationships The concept of relational stages.

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chapter 6

Chapter 6

Talk and Interpersonal Relationships

this chapter discusses
This Chapter Discusses:
  • How communication meets your psychological and other needs
  • How communication can build intimacy and relationships
  • How communication can also decrease intimacy and relationships
  • The concept of relational stages
talk relationships and knowledge
Talk, Relationships, and Knowledge
  • We tend to talk with people who share our beliefs and our views of ourselves
  • We compare our ideas with others
  • Relationships influence how we distribute information
  • Therefore, relationships as well as communication shape meaning
what we get the provisions of relationships
Belonging and a sense of reliable alliance

Emotional integration and stability

Opportunities to communicate about ourselves

Opportunities to help others

Providing assistance and physical support

Reassurance of our individual worth and value

What We Get: The ‘Provisions’ of Relationships
composing relationships through talk
Composing Relationships Through Talk
  • ‘Social’ relationships—people who perform the same function in your life but are basically interchangeable to you
  • ‘Personal’ relationships—people who perform specific and irreplaceable roles and functions in your life
analyzing small talk rccus
Analyzing ‘Small Talk’: RCCUs

Relational Continuity Constructional Units (Sigman, 1991)

  • Prospective (recognize there will be an absence in the relationship)
  • Introspective (acknowledge the absence is already happening)
  • Retrospective (signal the end of the absence)
talk and relational change
Talk and Relational Change
  • ‘Crossing boundaries’ between types of relationships involves changes in talk
  • Direct talk (about the relationship) can effect a change
  • Indirect communication (flirting) can also effect changes
stages in relationship development
Stages in Relationship Development
  • Relationships rarely develop in simple steps or stages
  • Partners in a relationship might have different ideas about how it should develop
  • Some people lack the skills to develop relationships
  • There are people with whom we do not want our relationship to develop!
duck s relationship filtering model
Duck’s Relationship Filtering Model

Relationships are developed or terminated based on our interpretation of various cues:

  • Physical appearance
  • Behavior and nonverbal communication
  • Attitudes and personality
duck s model of serial construction of meaning
Duck’s Model of Serial Construction of Meaning

Adds four steps to explain how relationships develop through talk:

  • Commonality (shared but unknown experience)
  • Mutuality (discussed shared experience)
  • Equivalence of evaluation (same reaction to common experience)
  • Sharing of meaning (making the experience part of the relationship)
duck s model of relational breakups
Duck’s Model of Relational Breakups
  • Intrapsychic (person thinks about ending relationship)
  • Dyadic (person confronts partner to discuss problems with relationship)
  • Social process (person tells other people about relationship problems)
  • Grave dressing (creating the lasting story of how/why the relationship ended)
  • Resurrection (movement from old relationship to entering new one)
final words on relationships and stages
Final Words on Relationships and Stages
  • People are not always aware that a problem is a ‘natural’ beginning stage to ending a relationship
  • People might report ‘stages’ even though that is not their lived experience
  • Talk and relational change are complex interrelated processes
  • ‘Bond/bind’ dilemma – rewards and costs, not stages, might determine relationships
  • ‘Dialectical tensions’ – relationships are in a constant state of flux between issues