How I Can Be An Ally &Change The World Shaping Safe & Respectful Culture ~In your community ~ ~ At your school ~ ~ With your co-workers ~ ~In your faith community ~ ~ Within your own Home & family ~ Presented & Created By: Cathy Perry Hospitality Initiative of Servant Hearts
Ally or Bully? What Is An Ally? What Is A Bully? What is Cyber Bullying? Consequences of Homophobic Fears & Myths Assessing Our Own Attitudes Anti-Gay Bullying & Serving LGBT Clients LGBT Terminology Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Creating Safe & Respectful Environments Warning Signs Reframing Public Policies/Procedures
An Ally Is … Ally… is defined as any person who does not identify with or as part of a group, BUT who is supportive, accepting, encourages healthy relationships with people who are different from themselves, has an open mind, listens, educates themselves, provides safe/nurturing environments, defends/speaks up when then encounter situations in which people are harassed, attacked, discriminated against, or do not receive equal respect/justice/rights and opportunities…
What is Bullying? Bullying happens when someone is subjected to negative actions from one or more people, and has a hard time defending himself/herself. Bullying can be: Teasing, taunting, or verbal abuse Punching, shoving, and harmful physical acts Spreading rumors, mean/hateful gossiping Excluding anyone from a group Ganging up on others Making another person feel unsafe, fearful, unwanted
What is Cyber Bullying? Cyber Bullying – is when bullies use the internet or other electronic devices to harass another person… Cyber Bullying is done by: Sending mean text, email, or instant messages… Posting damaging pictures or hurtful messages on You-Tube, Face Book, Websites or Blogs … Spreading rumors, lies, hateful messages about someone with intention of harming the person…
Consequences of Homophobic Fears & Myths Homophobia is defined as – unfounded fear of homosexuality and those who do not conform to sexual stereotypical norms, & gender roles… Locks people into rigid gender roles… Restricts creativity & authenticity… Stigmatizes & silences targeted groups of people… Isolates/restricts healthy relations & socialization … Limits inclusion, acceptance & diverts energy … Major cause of premature youth sexual involvement, depression, chemical/drug addiction, & suicide …
Assessing Our Own Attitudes Am I accepting and inclusive of all people? Do my actions, words and comments reflect that ALL people deserve respect, dignity & equality? Do I confront my own prejudices & homophobia? Do I experience push-back? Do I defend those who are attacked verbally, physically, and via cyber attacks at work or school? Do I seek to educate myself, ask questions, and teach my children to be more open and accepting of ALL people? Do I work to interrupt systems of oppression? Do I know that I have the power to make a difference and be an effective voice in ending hate, violence, discrimination and prejudice?
Beliefs & Fears Does my attitude and fears prevent me from serving LGBT clients/populations? Do my religious beliefs/values prevent my serving LGBT clients with compassion, respect & dignity? Do I allow LGBT slurs/jokes/insults to slide? If I witnessed bullying, would I intervene? Am I aware 1 in 10 people identify as LGBT? Am I knowledgeable and comfortable using LGBT terminology, locating LGBT resources/services, and educational materials?
LGBTI2SQA Terminology Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgendered Intersexed 2-Spirited (Amazon, Berdache, Nadle, Winkte) Questioning/Queer Ally/Adocate
CommonRespectfulTerminology LGBT/GLBT Straight Out/Out of the Closet Cross Dresser Drag Queen/Queens Heterosexism Heterosexual Privilege Gender Bending Third Gender Fluid/Gender Non-conforming Transitioning Cultural Competency Diversity Femme Butch Down-Low Male-to-Female/MTF Female-to-Male/FTM Considered derogatory– fag, faggot, dyke, bull-dyke, lezzie, fudge-packer, tranny, wacko, freak, homo, pickle kisser, sissy
SEX, GENDER, & ORIENTATIONSEXUAL ORIENTATIONSEX, GENDER, & ORIENTATIONSEXUAL ORIENTATIONGENDER IDENTITY Who & How We Are Attracted to Someone How We Know Ourselves & Our Psychological Sense of Gender Sexual Behavior Sexual Desire Sexual Identity Note: The American societal model is men are only attracted to women, and women to men Gender Expression Gender Identity Gender Roles Note: Each of us has a sex, a gender, and a sexual orientation. All 3 components are interconnected, giving each of us our own unique combination of endless possibilities
Creating Safe & Respectful Environments Where does bullying take place? A: Everywhere…school, bus, playground, restroom, lunchroom, recess, youth activities, locker room, on-line, etc… Who gets bullied? A: Those seen as different, passive, weak, submissive, sensitive, without friends, appearing to lack confidence … Who bullies? A: Those who view violence as favorable, are aggressive, impulsive, hot-tempered, have difficulty with rules, have a need for dominance, lack compassion, quick with their mouth especially in difficult situations … Who is included when bullying takes place? A: Most bullying is observed by bystanders and witnesses, most bullying is done in groups to decreased a sense of individual responsibility and to make it appear that the victim somehow deserved this treatment…
Warning signs that someone’s being bullied! 1) Damaged clothes, books and possessions 2) Unexplained physical injuries, bruises, cuts 3) Loss of interest in school, change in grades 4) Afraid or unwilling to go to school 5) Rarely spends time with friends/classmates 6) Chooses illogical routes home, won’t take the bus 7) Unhappy, downhearted, depressed, angry 8) Loss of appetite, headaches, stomach aches 9) Asks for extra money ( to use as bribe money)
Education + Knowledge = Prevention Bring awareness to bullying…start the dialogue Get teachers, parents, administrators involved Develop clear rules against bullying Have on-going classroom discussions on bullying Provide support and effective protection for victim Create safe-spaces, identify safe staff members Make sure there is follow through on all reporting Work to develop inclusive school/district harassment and discrimination policies/procedures
More Prevention Suggestions Create a school anti-bullying event Create a pledge wall, graffiti mural Use school newsletter, parent meetings to speak out Contact local media sources for help Use school event board or marquee Bring in speakers who can share personal journey Organize Ally Trainings, Educational Workshops Take a stand and be part of the solution….
Acknowledgements Hospitality Initiative of Servant Hearts … LGTBI2SQA Education & Resources Works to increase awareness, services, and support for marginalized lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, intersexed, 2 spirited, questioning and ally youth and adults in Greater MN. Its vision is to create inclusive, safe, welcoming and bias-free communities within the northern Minnesota rural region. Southern Poverty Law Center Model Programs – US Dept of Health & Human Services Education Minnesota OutFront Minnesota Respect For All Project Homophobia ~ How We All Pay The Price … edited by Warren J. Blumenfeld GLSEN-Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network Minnesota GLBTA Campus Alliance Out for Equity – Safe Schools Manual Nzherald.co.nz … by Maggie Wicks