Ari Sihvola 博士 , PhD 2013 年 6 月 13 日 22 September 2014

1. 实现工作场合的更好沟通Towards Better Communication at Workplace- 交往分析介绍Introduction to Transaction Analysis Ari Sihvola博士, PhD 2013年6月13日22 September 2014 22.9.2014 1

2. 目标Objectives 对工作场合沟通的重要性进行总体描述 To give an overall picture of the importance of communication at workplace 展示为何如此容易误解他人 To show, why it is so easy to misunderstand other people 鼓励我们采取恰当的倾听和反馈方式，以便在团队成员之间建立相互理解和信任To encourage us to the proper way of listening and responding in order to create mutual understanding and trust between the team members 22.9.2014 2

3. Eric Berne ——交往分析创始人Eric Berne– Founder of TA 20世纪50年代，美国心理学家Eric Berne开始创立他的交往分析理论。In the 1950's Eric Berne, U.S. psychiatric, began to develop his theories of Transactional Analysis. 交往分析被发展为与精神分析学理论有所不同的分支（后弗洛伊德或超弗洛伊德主义）TA was designed as a dissenting branch of psychoanalysis (post-Freudian or extra-Freudian) Berne表示，语言交流，尤其是面对面交流，是人类社会关系和精神分析学的核心。Berne said that verbal communication, particularly face to face, is at the centre of human social relationships and psychoanalysis. 交往分析成为对“我对你做一些事，你也对我做一些事”的交往进行考察的办法。Transactional Analysis became the method of examining the transaction wherein: 'I do something to you, and you do something back'. 《人们玩的游戏》——Eric Berne（1964年）Games People Play - Eric Berne (1964) 《打招呼后说什么》——Eric Berne（1975年）What Do You Say After You Say Hello - Eric Berne (1975) 《我好你也好》——Thomas Harris和Amy Harris（1969年）I'm OK You're OK - Thomas and Amy Harris (1969) 22.9.2014 3

4. Wilder Penfield博士关于记忆的发现（1951年）Dr Wilder Penfield’s discoveries (1951) about memorizing 通过使用微弱电探针触碰神志清醒人体的大脑局部（颞叶皮层），Penfield证明，大脑可“回放”某些过去的经历以及相关感觉。病人“重播”了正常情况下运用常规记忆无法忆起的事件和他们的感觉。Penfield proved, using conscious human subjects, by touching a part of the brain (the temporal cortex) with a weak electrical probe, that the brain could be caused to 'play back' certain past experiences, and the feelings associated with them. The patients 'replayed' these events and their feelings despite not normally being able to recall them using their conventional memories. 22.9.2014 4

5. Penfield的结论Penfield conclusions 人类大脑的运作方式就像一台磁带录音机，尽管我们可能“忘记了”一些经历，但大脑仍将它们记录了下来。The human brain acts like a tape recorder, and whilst we may 'forget' experiences, the brain still has them recorded. 大脑在记录事件的同时，还记录下相关的感觉，并且感觉和事件是配套储存的。Along with events the brain also records the associated feelings, and both feelings and events stay locked together. 一个人可能同时处于两种状态之中（因为重播大脑中隐藏的事件和感觉的病人可同时客观地谈论这些内容）It is possible for a person to exist in two states simultaneously (because patients replaying hidden events and feelings could talk about them objectively at the same time). 隐藏的经历在重播时很生动，并且对我们在重播时的感觉产生影响Hidden experiences when replayed are vivid, and affect how we feel at the time of replaying. 思维和身体之间存在着某种联系，即是指生理活动和心理活动间的关联，例如心理上害怕蜘蛛和生理上感觉到恶心的感觉。There is a certain connection between mind and body, i.e. the link between the biological and the psychological, e.g. a psychological fear of spiders and a biological feeling of nausea. 22.9.2014 5

6. 交往Transactions 交往是连续不断的沟通，更具体地说是与话语平行的未说出来的连续不断的心理沟通。Transactions are the flow of communication, and more specifically the unspoken psychological flow of communication that runs in parallel. 交往在话语和心理层面同时发生Transactions occur simultaneously at both explicit and psychological levels 22.9.2014 6

7. 我们如何通过说话来沟通How we communicate by speaking 说出的话语中只包含7%的意思Only 7% of meaning is in the words spoken 辅助语言（说话的方式）包含38%的意思38% of meaning is paralinguistic (the way that the words are said) 面部表情包含55%55% is in facial expression (Source: Albert Mehrabian, UCLA 1964-) （来源：Albert Mehrabian，加州大学洛杉矶分校1964年-） 22.9.2014 7

8. 三个自我状态Three alter ego states 每个人都由三个自我状态组成：Each person is made up of three alter ego states: 父母Parent 成人Adult 孩童Child 父母是我们“被教会”的人生观Parent is our 'Taught' concept of life 成人是我们“思考出”的人生观Adult is our 'Thought' concept of life 孩童是我们“感觉到”的人生观Child is our 'Felt' concept of life 22.9.2014 8

9. 孩童状态Child 我们对外部事件的内心反应和感觉组成了“孩童状态”。这是我们每个人拥有的视觉、听觉、感觉和情绪数据。当愤怒或绝望主导了理性，我们就处于孩童状态控制之下。和我们的父母状态一样，我们可以改变孩童状态，但也同样不容易。Our internal reaction and feelings to external events form the 'Child'. This is the seeing, hearing, feeling, and emotional body of data within each of us. When anger or despair dominates reason, the Child is in control. Like our Parent we can change it, but it is no easier. 22.9.2014 9

10. 父母状态Parent 这是我们生命中根深蒂固的权威声音，是从小就深埋于心的影响力、学识和态度This is our ingrained voice of authority, absorbed conditioning, learning and attitudes from when we were young. 我们受到生父母、老师、长辈、隔壁邻居、叔叔阿姨等的熏陶We were conditioned by our real parents, teachers, older people, next door neighbours, aunts and uncles… 我们的父母状态由大量隐秘和公开的记录回放组成。以“怎样”、“无论如何都不”、“总是”、“千万别忘了”、“别说谎、欺骗、偷窃”等等开始的短语和态度则是这些回放的典型体现。Our Parent is made up of a huge number of hidden and overt recorded playbacks. Typically embodied by phrases and attitudes starting with 'how to', 'under no circumstances', 'always' and 'never forget', 'don't lie, cheat, steal', etc, etc. 我们的父母状态由外部事件和在幼年时期对我们产生的影响构成。我们可以将其改变，但这说起来容易做起来难。Our Parent is formed by external events and influences upon us as we grow through early childhood. We can change it, but this is easier said than done. 22.9.2014 10

11. 成人状态Adult “成人状态”是我们根据所获数据自行思考和决定行为的能力。我们的成人状态大约在10个月时开始形成，是我们控制自己父母状态和孩童状态的办法。如果我们要改变自己的父母和孩童状态，我们必须通过成人状态来实现。Our 'Adult' is our ability to think and determine action for ourselves, based on received data. The adult in us begins to form at around ten months old, and is the means by which we keep our Parent and Child under control. If we are to change our Parent or Child we must do so through our adult 22.9.2014 11

12. 自我矩阵Alter Ego Matrix 22.9.2014 12

13. 相互或互补的交往Reciprocal or Complementary Transactions 简单、相互的交往可在交往双方均处于同一个自我状态时发生。这也被称作互补交往。A simple, reciprocal transaction occurs when both partners are addressing the ego state the other is in. These are also called complementary transactions. 例子1Example 1 A：“你已经写出报告了吗？”（成人对成人）A: "Have you been able to write the report?" (Adult to Adult) B：“是的——我正要发邮件给你。”（成人对成人）B: "Yes - I'm about to email it to you." (Adult to Adult) 例子2Example 2 A：“你想听公司最新的八卦吗？”（孩童对孩童）A: "Would you like to hear the latest gossips of the firm?" (Child to Child) B：“我想听——老板又搞出什么乱子了？”（孩童对孩童）B: "I'd love to - what a chaos has the boss again created?" (Child to Child) 例子3Example 3 A：“你的报告写了吗？”（父母对孩童）A: "Is your report made yet?" (Parent to Child) B：“你能不能别再烦我了？我总会写的！”（孩童对父母）B: "Will you stop hassling me? I'll do it eventually!" (Child to Parent) 22.9.2014 13

14. 交叉交往Crossed Transactions 沟通的失败通常是由交往双方不处于同一个自我状态的“交叉交往”导致。Communication failures are typically caused by a 'crossed transaction' where partners address ego states other than that their partner is in. 例子1Example 1: A：“你已经写出报告了吗？”（成人对成人）A: "Have you been able to write that report?" (Adult to Adult) B： ：“你能不能别再烦我了？我总会写的！”（孩童对父母） B: "Will you stop hassling me? I'll do it eventually!" (Child to Parent) A：“如果你不改变你的态度，我就开除你。”（父母对孩童）A: "If you don't change your attitude you'll get fired" (Parent to Child) 例子2Example 2: A： “你的报告写了吗？”（父母对孩童） A: "Is your report made yet?" (Parent to Child) B：“实际上我正要写。”（成人对成人）B: "I'm just going to do it, actually." (Adult to Adult) A：“我从来不相信你能做什么事情！”（父母对孩童）A: "I can never trust you to do things!" (Parent to Child) B：“你怎么不相信我说的任何话呢？”（孩童对父母）B: "Why don't you believe anything I say?" (Child to Parent) 22.9.2014 14

15. 人生（或童年）剧本Life (or Childhood) Script 剧本是一项以成果为目标的人生计划。Script is a life plan, directed to a pay-off. 剧本是由某些条件决定的，且对某些事情做出反应，即是说，在童年时就根据对世界的理解而决定，并且是适应和理解世界的方式，并非由外力强加给一个人的。Script is decisional and responsive, i.e., decided upon in childhood in response to perceptions of the world and as a means of living with and making sense of the world. It is not just thrust upon a person by external forces. 剧本是由父母（或其他有影响的人和经历）强化的。Script is reinforced by parents (or other influential figures and experiences). 剧本的大部分是无意识的。Script is for the most part outside awareness. 剧本关乎我们如何确定方向和追寻什么目标，除此之外的现实是被重新定义（扭曲）的，以符合我们的筛选指标。Script is how we navigate and what we look for, the rest of reality is redefined (distorted) to match our filters. 22.9.2014 15

16. Eric Berne的《人们玩的游戏》Games People Play by Eric Berne Eric Berne描述的一些最普遍的主题如下：Here are some of the most commonly found themes of games described by Eric Berne : YDYB：你为什么不？是的，但是。这是历史上最早发现的游戏。YDYB: Why Don't You, Yes But. Historically, the first game discovered. IFWY：如果不是因为你。IFWY: If It Weren't For You WAHM：为什么这事总发生在我身上？（设定一个自我实现的预言）WAHM: Why does this Always Happen to Me? (setting up a self-fulfilling prophecy) SWYMD：看看你都让我干了什么SWYMD: See What You Made Me Do UGMIT：是你让我走到这一步的UGMIT: You Got Me Into This LHIT：看看我都多么努力了LHIT: Look How Hard I've Tried ITHY：我只是试图帮助你ITHY: I'm Only Trying to Help You LYAHF：让你和他去争吧（上演三角恋爱）LYAHF: Let's You and Him Fight (staging a love triangle) NIGYYSOB：现在我总算逮到你了，你这个王八蛋NIGYYSOB: Now I've got you, you son of a bitch 22.9.2014 16

17. 有效的沟通方式Effective way to communicate 对于任意情况下任何自我状态的有效性并没有一定的规律【有些人以独断专行（父母对孩童）、发脾气（孩童对父母）来实现结果】，但对于均衡的生活方式来说，通常推荐成人对成人模式。There is no general rule as to the effectiveness of any ego state in any given situation (some people get results by being dictatorial (Parent to Child), or by having temper tantrums (Child to Parent), but for a balanced approach to life, Adult to Adult is generally recommended. 在工作中，成人对成人模式是唯一在政治上正确的沟通方式In work life Adult to Adult is the only politically correct way of communication 22.9.2014 17

18. 交往分析的理念体系Philosophy of TA 人们都是好的；因此每个人都有合理性、重要性和平等的尊重。People are OK; thus each person has validity, importance, equality of respect. 每个人（仅有个别例外）都有完备的成人思考能力。Everyone (with only few exceptions) has full adult capability to think. 人们决定自己的故事和命运，而这一决定可以被改变。People decide their story and destiny, and this is a decision that can be changed. 要脱离不能公平、诚实地反映现时生活的不恰当、不真实和错位的情绪（如对幼年痛苦的回忆、乞怜和其他心理游戏、强制行为以及反复的功能失调生活模式），需要摆脱曾经嵌入童年剧本的不良适应经历。Freedom from historical mal adaptations embedded in the childhood script is required in order to become free of inappropriate inauthentic and displaced emotion which are not a fair and honest reflection of here-and-now life (such as echoes of childhood suffering, pity-me and other mind games, compulsive behaviour, and repetitive dysfunctional life patterns). 交往分析是以目标为导向，而非仅以问题为导向。TA is goal-oriented, not merely problem-oriented. 交往分析下的改变目标是实现自主性（摆脱童年剧本）、自发性、亲密感、解决问题而非逃避或消极应对、治愈成为一个理想个体而非仅“实现进步”和学会新的选择。The aims of change under TA are autonomy (freedom from childhood script), spontaneity, intimacy, problem solving as opposed to avoidance or passivity, cure as an ideal rather than merely 'making progress', learning new choices 22.9.2014 18