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Dynamics of interpersonal relationships

Dynamics of interpersonal relationships. Why we form relationships. Appearance Important in the early stage of relationships but become less important with time. Why We Form Relationships.

jeremy-butler
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Dynamics of interpersonal relationships

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  1. Dynamics of interpersonal relationships

  2. Why we form relationships • Appearance Important in the early stage of relationships but become less important with time.

  3. Why We Form Relationships • Similarity Thesis: The most frequent and strongly supported determinant of relationship formation. • Validates • Reduces Uncertainty • Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

  4. Why We Form Relationships • Complementarity: Opposites Attract Satisfied couples are similar enough to satisfy needs but different enough to be interesting

  5. Why We Form Relationships • Rewards (Exchange Theory) We seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the cost we encounter in dealing with them. Relationships suffer when an inequality exists.

  6. Why We Form Relationships • Competence: We like to be around talented people in hopes that they will rub off on us.

  7. Why We Form Relationships • Proximity: We tend to form relationships with others we are close to. Allows us to get more information about others. Suggests similarity

  8. Why We Form Relationships • Disclosure: The event of sharing information with another. Suggests trust More important as the relationship progresses Reciprocity is key!

  9. Dialectical Perspectives • Connection-Autonomy Dialectic “Hold me tight, put me down, let me go.” • Predictability-Novelty Routine versus need for spontaneity. • Openness-Privacy Dialectic The need to feel like you know the other person while still maintaining some privacy in your life.

  10. Examples • Relational Dialectics 1 – YouTube • Relational Dialectics 6 - YouTube

  11. Managing Dialectical Tensions • Denial: Avoid • Disorientation: Freezing • Alternation: Choose one end or other • Segmentation: Compartmentalize parts of the relationship (i.e. openness/privacy)

  12. Managing Dialectical Tensions • Balance: Compromise • Integration: Both sides important (Friday night date night) • Recalibration: Reframing to dissolve the contradiction • Reaffirmation: Embrace the tension

  13. Content and Relational Messages • Content- The subject being discussed, what is said • Relational- Shows how the communicators feel about each other

  14. Repairing Damaged Relationships • Relational Transgressions: When one partner violates the explicit or implicit terms of the relationship, letting the other one down in an important way.

  15. Repairing Damaged Relationships • Types of transgressions: 1. Minor vs. Significant 2. Social vs. Relational 3. Deliberate vs. Unintentional 4. One time vs. Incremental

  16. Strategies for Relational Repair 1. COMMUNICATE!! Talk! 2. FORGIVE 3. APOLOGIZE if you are wrong! Acknowledge you were wrong. Sincerely say you are sorry. Some type of compensation.

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