Interpersonal Relationships

1. Interpersonal Relationships

2. Why form relationships? • Scientists believe that ALL relationships – both impersonal and personal – are based on the social exchange theory. • We seek out people who can give us rewards (tangible or intangible) that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with them Rewards – Cost = Outcome

3. Types of Relationships (pg 134) • Acquaintances – goal is to reduce uncertainty and maintain face • Friends – we voluntarily become more personal • Close friends / Intimates – few people we share trust with high degree of commitment, disclosure, and interdependence

4. Interpersonal communication • Interpersonal communication occurs when people treat one another as unique individuals, regardless of the context in which the interaction occurs or the number of people involved.

5. Metacommunication • Metacommunication is communication about communication • Essential ingredient in successful relationships • Tool for handling problems • Reinforces good aspects of a relationship

6. Dimensions of Intimacy • Physical • Intellectual sharing • Emotional • Shared activities

7. Gender styles • Women are more likely to share thoughts and feelings • 75% of men surveyed said most meaningful experiences w/ friends came from activities other than talking

8. The Stages of Relationships (pg 143) • Beginning relationships • Developing relationships • Maintaining relationships • Deteriorating and Dissolving relationships

9. Mark Knapp’s Stages of the Relationship

10. Stages of Relationships (Mark Knapp) • Initiating – brief interactions to show interest • Experimenting – small talk • Intensifying – expression of feelings (WE) • Integrating – take identity as one social unit • Bonding – make symbolic public gestures

11. Relationship Stages (cont.) • Differentiating – need to gain privacy • Circumscribing – withdrawal, shrinking of interest • Stagnating – no growth occurs • Avoiding – physical distance occurs • Terminating – relationship ends

12. Dialectics in Interpersonal Relationships (pg 150) • Autonomy vs. Connection • Openness vs. Closedness (privacy) • Novelty vs. Predictability

13. Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure is the process of deliberatelyrevealing information about oneself that is significant and that would not normally be known by others. Disclosure is revealing confidential or secret information. Disclosure is a larger concept because it includes confidential information about others as well as yourself (Petronio, 2002 & pg 161)

14. Johari Window (pg141)Open, Hidden, Blind / Secret, Unknown

15. (Pg 164)

16. Self-Disclosure effects the relationship…. (pg 164) • Intimacy – Because of Dialectical tensions, people more back and forth between greater disclosure and privacy. Disclosure can increase and decrease intimacy. • Reciprocity – how long do you wait before you reciprocate disclosure • Trust – How does your partner treat information you shared

17. Guidelines for Disclosure (pg 165) • Self-disclose information you want others to disclose to you • Continue self-disclosure when reciprocated • Gradually move to deeper levels of self-disclosure • Observe the risk involved in self-disclosing

18. Cultural and Gender Differences • Formal Cultures Engage in Less Self-Disclosure • Germany More Formal than America • Misperceptions in Early Stages of Cross-Cultural Relationships • Across Cultures - More Intimacy, More Self-Disclosure

19. Cultural and Gender Differences (con’t) • In General, Men Tend to Disclose Less Than Women, but This Varies by Individual and Cultural Tradition • Men in our society are more likely to view conversation as report-talk • Women in our society are more likely to view conversation as rapport-talk Tannen, 1990