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Paragraph Revision

Paragraph Revision

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Paragraph Revision

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  1. Paragraph Revision Let’s get this figured out!

  2. What I saw that I liked • Topic and concluding sentences are included, and MOST included wording from the prompt. • Most people are using transitions. • Most people are including page numbers of some sort. • Most are attempting explanation sentences.

  3. What needs to be improved-- The easy stuff: • Topic sentence: • Make sure it is a complete sentence. • Make sure it uses the words from the prompt including the title of the novel or story. • Transitions: • Should appear before EACH example (detail) sentence. • Page numbers: • Should be at the end of the detail sentence. • Should be written in parenthesis withOUT a pg or the word page (23). • OR, they can be written into the sentence, “This is shown on page 23 when…” • Personal pronouns – DON’T USE THEM! (I or YOU) • Capital letters – USE THEM!! (All names and titles)

  4. Improvements needed: Detail/Example sentences Example / Detail Sentence: This needs to be specific: What did the character DO or SAY that shows this? • YES: One example of Darry being a good friend is when he carried Ponyboyin from the car (103). • NO: One reason Darry is a good friend is that he is caring (103).

  5. Improvements needed: Explanation sentences Explanation sentences: Must show HOW the example proves the topic sentence. • YES: This shows he is a good friend because he is willing to work hard to make other people’s problems disappear. • NO: This shows he is a good friend because Ponyboy was very tired, so Darry carried him in so that he wouldn’t have to walk. • NO: This shows he is a good friend because he is strong enough to carry somebody.

  6. Comparison Time • You are going to be given a paper copy of an example paragraph with some directions on it. • When you receive your paper, JUST READ THE DIRECTIONS FIRST, but do not follow them until you are given the signal to do so by your teacher.

  7. Now what? • NOW, it is time to read the comments given to you regarding this paragraph. • Then, read the rubric I handed back. • Note where you did well and what you need to improve. Keep in mind: “Got it!” is the goal for EACH of the items on the rubric. If/when this was not circled, there is something that needs to be fixed. • Go back to your paragraph. Highlight your paragraph and hold down until the “Copy” option pops up. • “Paste” your paragraph IMMEDIATELY BELOW THE COMMENTS THAT I WROTE.

  8. REVISE • Reviseyour paragraph. That means that your goal is to “fix” your paragraph so that I would be able to give ALL 15 itemsa “Got it.” • Keep the example paragraph close by! • HIGHLIGHT your changes, or TYPE them in a different color so that I can easily see what you have done. • If you finish with time to spare, this is the order of priorities to work on: • Missing work from this unit (check the Portal and check Notability for this week’s assignments) • Anchor Project: Due Monday, 11/11 • Bucket List (should already be done) • Independent reading book