Chapter 6 Parenting Impact on Alcohol/Drug Use and Abuse
Chapter Objectives • Explain the role parent-child bonding plays in preventing problem behaviors and future alcohol/drug problems. • Define the diagnostic criteria of abandonment depression. • Describe the child temperaments that may contribute or make the child at-risk for substance abuse. • Explain “quality” of parent-child relationship and its impact on substance use and abuse.
Chapter Objectives • Define shame and describe the domains of shame and the common affect-shame binds. • Describe rejection sensitivity, difficulty making decisions, and poor frustration tolerance. • Classify behaviors that indicate parental imbalance. • Define and describe boundaries and boundary inadequacy.
Chapter Objectives • Describe triangulation in the family. • Describe the impact of parental use or abuse of alcohol/drugs on the child’s future use or abuse. • Describe the imbalanced life cycles of families.
Parent-Child Bonding • Abandonment Depression • An affective disorder with six key elements: • Homicidal rage • Suicidal depression • Panic • Feelings of hopelessness/helplessness • Emptiness and void • Guilt • Impact of early abandonment on adult interpersonal relationships
Parent-Child Bonding • Child’s Temperament • Evidence that extremes in certain temperament traits, such as high activity level, emotionality, attention span, and sociability are associated with children of alcoholics. • Aspects of temperament may predict the behavior problems and substance abuse problems that frequently arise during adolescence.
Parenting Styles That Shame Children • Shame • The self looking at itself, and finding it lacking, flawed, inadequate. • Is like a flash flood of emotion that wipes out the interpersonal connection with people • Differences between a shame-based system and balanced system • Shame-based • No hope, inescapable, and exterior-based • Balanced system • Hope-choice, can make amends, internally based
Parents’ Shame • Parents who have not done a good job of parenting may experience shame.
Shame and Feelings • Shame is a very powerful feeling, and when it is attached to other feelings, they are escalated: • Anger plus shame equals rage • Adolescent sexual identity and shame • Sexual violation and shame • Drug, sex, and shame
Characteristics of Shame and Abandonment • Rejection sensitivity • Fear and difficulty making decisions • Poor frustration tolerance • Other reactions and defenses • Overly defensive • Extremely critical or judgemental • Rage or distorted thinking • Masking true feelings and emotions
Parental Imbalance and Boundary Setting • Clear boundaries • Allow mutual respect and concern • Enmeshed boundaries • Are inflexible, are unyielding, and leave no room for differences • Disengaged boundaries • Are overly rigid, with little or no opportunity for communication
Boundary Inadequacy • Ambiguous boundary inadequacy • A pattern of double messages • Overly rigid boundary inadequacy • Smooth and efficient functioning is a priority over being responsive and adaptable • Invasive boundary inadequacy • An imbalance of power is used to objectify people
Boundary Ambiguity • Stage 1 – Clustering • Stage 2 – Conflict • Stage 3 – Individuation • Stage 4 - Connection
Triangulation • Triangulation is at least two adults involved in an off-spring’s problem, where the parent-child dyad is pitted against a more peripheral parent, stepparent, grandparent, parent’s lover, or another relative.
Imbalanced Life Cycles of Families • Relationships between families and the joining of families • Family and the young child • Family and the adolescent • Launching of children • Later life
Fathers of Alcoholics/Addicts • Dealing with resistance • Reassure the father that he is important • Point out that changes depend on his action • Make the father aware that he has the power to sabotage treatment • Note that the father has choices • Place responsibility for change squarely on father’s shoulders • Get the father to consider realigning his priorities