Rules of Engagement Making the Case for Clarifying Interpersonal Behavior Expectations for Organizational Leaders A Pre

1. Rules of EngagementMaking the Case for Clarifying Interpersonal Behavior Expectations for Organizational LeadersA Presentation for Holzer Medical Center Kendall L. Stewart, M.D. July 23, 2004

4. What are some of our most common inappropriate interpersonal behaviors? We talk about each other instead of talking to each other. We fail to confront each other when we should. We conduct our real meetings after the meetings. We fail to recognize that emotional arousal is a danger sign. We use our positions of power to intimidate instead of facilitate. We indulge in temper tantrums in the workplace. We support inept and negative leaders when we should extrude them. We fail to hold each other accountable. We avoid conflict instead of resolving it. We avoid asking the hard questions for fear that we will hurt each other�s feelings. We fail to make our expectations clear then react resentfully when others don�t read our minds. We tell people what they want to hear instead of taking a clear position and sticking to it. We avoid discomfort and drift when we should be paddling furiously. We settle for mediocrity when we should be demanding more of others and ourselves. We blame others for our feelings and behaviors. We make impulsive decisions before considering all of the options. We procrastinate instead of acting promptly.

5. Why might it make sense to clarify your �Rules of Engagement?� It would acknowledge the problem. It would demonstrate your resolve to face up to it. It would hold you accountable for your own behavior. It would help you clarify your expectations of your colleagues. It would encourage appropriate confrontation throughout the organization. Over time, your clarification will weaken this critical barrier to achieving exceptional organizational results.

6. What are some strategies for successfully deploying your own �Rules of Engagement?� Recognize this issue as an opportunity for improvement. Select an executive champion. Make the case that this issue should become a priority. Obtain executive staff commitment. Review the interpersonal behaviors of high performing leadership teams. Identify your interpersonal behavioral strengths. Identify your opportunities to improve (OFIs). Specify those common interpersonal behaviors that would need to change. Identify the key barriers to change. Encourage executives to agree on a draft document. Obtain broad-based support. Keep the guidelines simple and brief. Make them understandable and practical. Make a public commitment to conform. Begin by changing your own behavior. Confront each other when you slip. Recognize and celebrate incremental success while acknowledging that �change is hard.� Clarify your expectations for new leaders. Seek feedback about whether the organization�s leaders �walk the talk.� Extrude those leaders who refuse to embrace these guidelines.

7. Select an executive champion. Why should you? Executives are frequent barriers to organizational success. They set priorities and allocate resources. Like everyone else, executives long for comfort, and they are not likely to change unless someone makes them uncomfortable. A determined executive makes her peers very uncomfortable. You need the leverage with your peers. One of the executives needs to take the point if this effort is going to succeed. How can you? Identify an opinion leader. Choose and executive with some behavioral insight. Find someone who is committed to the pursuit of excellence. Avoid executives who regularly misbehave. Recruit champions by making a compelling case. Make it their idea. Guarantee them the support they will need. Convince them you are in this for the long haul. Build this joint effort on an existing relationship.

8. Make the case that this issue should become a priority. Why should you? You have no chance of sustaining a cultural change without making this case. There is no more time in the day. Everyone is already busy doing stuff they think is important. Executives are exceptionally set in their ways. Executives think they already know what the organizations priorities should be. Few of us change without some sense of urgency. How can you? Acknowledge the competing priorities. Highlight the problems caused by the status quo. Recall recent examples of flawed leadership behavior. Emphasize the emotional cost of continued avoidance. Illustrate organizational benefits of less dysfunctional interactions. Find an emotional hook to promote engagement. Ask for their help. Agree on next steps. Establish a timeline.

9. Identify the key barriers to change. Why should you? Acknowledges the resistance triggered by change Confronts the challenge of sustained behavioral change Identifies negative, incorrigible leaders who must be confronted�and possibly extruded. Enhances leaders� credibility Spotlights behavior that has become acceptable Gives hope to frustrated and discouraged leaders Signals the malcontents that their days may be numbered How can you? Convene a group of positive, engaged leaders. Describe the objective clearly. Admit your own resistance up front. Face reality. Learn to tolerate the discomfort that facing reality occasions. Focus on behavior, not suspected motivation. Write the barriers down�and discuss strategies for overcoming them. Remain positive.