Self Edit for The Bean Trees Essay

Self Edit for The Bean Trees Essay

Format: pts. Taken off if missing: 1. double spaced? 2. 12 pt font? 3 paragraphs indented 4. Title? (think of one that works for essay) 5. Name and hour

Are title and author mentioned? • Do you see any words such as: • Great, beautiful, famous, brilliant, or amazing in your intro? • If so cut them right now. We all know Kingsolver is a Your purpose is not to review her work but to analyze it.

Introduction • Make sure title is underlined or in italacs • Do you have any “I think’s? If so cross them out. • Does the introduction start out a with general statement that narrows down to supporting ideas and thesis? • If not: Is there a broad statement about your thesis that you can mention (friendship, family, state of the world, community, Rhizobia definition, Kingsolver’s purpose?) that might work as a lead? Or, if you are really stuck try beginning with a quote or well known proverb on your topic that will lead you into topic.

Introduction continued • Do you have a preview of 3 supporting ideas? Underline them • Does the thesis statement come at end of paragraph? .

Inserting previews into thesis statement: make sure punctuation is correct if one word: ______, _______, and________ . Or phrases: ___ ___ ____; ___ ____ ____; and ___ _____ ____.

Parallel construction in thesis? • He sits, he stands, and he weeps in iambic pentameter. • He is the first to arrive; the first to volunteer; and the first to leave. • The themes of hope, rebirth and adaptation. • …their similarities, their differences, and their influence on each other

Writing • Read quietly to yourself for any awkward or run-on sentences. Make a mark if you hear one. Look for is how, is when, is because and revise any sentence that has them. • Check punctuation. Circle semi-colon or colon if you are unsure of its use. • Are commas inserted after introductory clauses and between items in a list? • Make a quick note in the margin what you need to rework to clarify.

Use third person p.o.v. Cut out any I thinks or I.

First Paragraph • Read the topic sentence out loud to yourself. • Is it introducing the main idea of the paragraph, or is it summarizing a part of the story? Make sure it clearly states the idea. • Does the topic sentence correspond with the first supporting idea mentioned in the introduction?

Are you writing in present tense? • Turtle is thrust into Taylor’s car. • Taylor moves into Lou Ann’s house.

First example Does it relate to supporting idea in topic sentence? (if not cut it-or revise topic sentence) When you present your example is context provided? Make sure context is short and not a summary. For example: While signing the adoption papers, (context) Esperanza experiences a catharsis.

Are you relating your example to thesis or topic sentence? If not, make the connection for your reader.

First Quote • First quote: Is context provided? • At Dog Doo Park Lou Ann says, “….” • Is it introduced with colon or comma? • is speaker identified? • Before quote! • Page number? Period after final parathesis? (78). • Does commentary follow your support? • Do you explain how the quote relates to the topic sentence?

Commentary • This is the most important part of essay. • Have you first explained the quote in your own words if necessary? • Then comment on what the quote reveals. Does it reveal character or theme?

Is a transition used to introduce your next supporting detail? • In addition, Also, Another, (for related ideas) • However, on the other hand, (for different ideas) • Avoid using the phrase : “Another example of this is when…” If you see this phrase underline it and try to rephrase it into active voice: • Have you commented on secon example?

Does the paragraph end with commentary? • Do you have more than one sentence in your commentary? • If not, deepen it. • Does commentary clearly relate back to topic sentence or thesis?

Read your paragraph again silently. • is there coherence? (Are the sentences related to each other). If you find one that jars you away from previous thought, mark it and insert transitional phrase later. • Do you think you have given enough analysis? Add one more thought to explore later. (you may or may not use it.) • Is there too much summary in any of the paragraph? Replace it with analysis.

Second Paragraph • Is there a smooth transition between the first paragraph and the second? • 2. If not, ask yourself what the connection is between the two paragraphs and find a way to ease from one to the other. Think of your thesis as the thread tying the paragraphs together. Does that help? • Repeat steps above.

Look at 2nd topic sentence • Does it introduce the second supporting idea from your introduction? • If it starts with summary-stop and figure out a way to present idea as analysis and not summary. • Tip: rephrase supporting idea from introduction.

Read 2ndparagraphs for • 1. 2-3 examples that support T.S. • At least one quote in each para. • 3. Commentary clearly explains how examples support your thesis? • Unity: everything relates to topic sent. • Coherence: ideas flow together well • Transitional phrase used between ideas?

Read 3rdparagraphs for • 1. 2-3 examples that support T.S. • At least one quote in each para. • 3. Commentary clearly explains how examples support your thesis? • Unity: everything relates to topic sent. • Coherence: ideas flow together well • Transitional phrase used between ideas?

Writing • read the rest of the paragraph out loud and listen for awkward or run on sentences. Look for passive sentences and change them into active voice. (clues: the reason is that, Not:The girl was taken by Taylor Right:Taylor takes the girl. • Is present tense used? If not fix it. Not: Taylor left Pitman to avoid failure Right: Taylor leaves Pitman to…

Final home edit • Ask someone at home to read your paper. • Have them circle anything that doesn’t make sense or that isn’t clear. • Feel proud about your hard work!

AT Home:Read essay out loud • Mark any sentence that sounds awkward-if it sounds awkward, it probably is. • Check for commas after introductory and parenthetical phrases. • However should not be at the beginning of a sentence. • Correct: Taylor, however, is confident.

Turnitin.com • Course numbers and passwords • 4626254 English Honors 4 coco1 • 4259630 English Honors 5 coco2 • 4259639 English Honors 6 coco3

Self Edit for The Bean Trees Essay