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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. How to Use Emotional Intelligence to Get Results Dr. Martin Armstrong, CPP, MBA, DBA. Intellectual Intelligence. Ability to: Learn about Learn from Understand Interact. Intellectual Intelligence. Adaptability to a new or changing environment

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Presentation Transcript
emotional intelligence


How to Use Emotional Intelligence

to Get Results

Dr. Martin Armstrong, CPP, MBA, DBA

intellectual intelligence
Intellectual Intelligence
  • Ability to:
    • Learn about
    • Learn from
    • Understand
    • Interact
intellectual intelligence1
Intellectual Intelligence
  • Adaptability to a new or changing environment
  • Capacity for knowledge and the ability to acquire it
  • Capacity for reason and abstract thought
  • Ability to comprehend relationships
  • Ability to evaluate and judge
  • Capacity for original and productive thought
emotional intelligence1
Emotional Intelligence

Defined as…

The ability, capacity, skill or a self-perceived ability to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one’s self, of others, and of groups.



Social Awareness

Relationship Management

Emotional Intelligence 2.0 - Bradberry & Greaves, 2009


what is emotional intelligence1
What is Emotional Intelligence?





Relationship Management

Social Awareness






I think rationally here

I “feel” here

Information enters here

self awareness strategies
Self-Awareness Strategies
  • Ask yourself:
    • What am I feeling?
    • Why am I feeling it?
  • Keep a journal or log
  • Reflect on your behaviors
  • Know your triggers
  • Seek feedback
self management strategies
Self-Management Strategies
  • The ABC’s of Life

A – Activating event

B – Belief about the activating event

C – Consequential emotional response


“My director believes in me”

“My director is trying to ruin my life!”

self defeating beliefs
Self-Defeating Beliefs
  • Add D
    • Dispute our thinking
    • Replace self-defeating, irrational beliefs with rational logical beliefs
self management strategies1
Self-Management Strategies
  • Choose your battles
  • Mix pleasantness with anger
  • Realign your expectations
  • Speak to someone that is not emotionally invested
  • Recognize the irrationality of worry
self management strategies2
Self-Management Strategies
  • Ask anxiety inventory questions
    • What is going on here?
    • What’s the worst thing that could happen?
    • How likely is that?
    • Is it in or out of my control?
    • Is there anything I can do?
social awareness strategies
Social Awareness Strategies
  • Greet people by name
  • Notice things about people
  • Watch body language and tone
  • Listen
  • Step into their shoes
  • Seek the whole picture
  • Pay attention to the mood in the room
relationship strategies
Relationship Strategies
  • Be open and curious
  • Acknowledge other people’s feelings
  • Have an “open door” policy
  • Explain your decisions
  • Tackle a tough conversation
  • Take feedback & give constructive criticism
putting people at ease
Putting People at Ease
  • Make everyone feel like they belong
  • Portray positive emotions
  • Make people feel comfortable
difficult conversations
Difficult Conversations

Personal Inventory



Take an inventory of your state of mind

Plan for your triggers of frustration and anger

difficult conversations1
Difficult Conversations

Social Inventory

Social Awareness

Relationship Management

Determine the emotional level of the team member

Address problems directly with an open ear

dealing with people you can t stand
Dealing With People You Can’t Stand
  • Do nothing
  • Vote with your feet
  • Change your attitude
  • Change your behavior
the 10 most unwanted list
The 10 Most Unwanted List
  • The Tank
    • Your Goal: Command Respect
the 10 most unwanted list1
The 10 Most Unwanted List
  • The Sniper
    • Your Goal: Bring the Sniper Out of Hiding
the 10 most unwanted list2
The 10 Most Unwanted List
  • The Know-It-All
    • Your Goal: Open their mind to new information and ideas
the 10 most unwanted list3
The 10 Most Unwanted List
  • The Think-They-Know-It-All
    • Your Goal: Give his/her bad ideas the hook
the 10 most unwanted list4
The 10 Most Unwanted List
  • The Grenade
    • Your Goal: Take control of the situation
the 10 most unwanted list5
The 10 Most Unwanted List
  • The Yes Person
    • Your Goal: Get

commitments you

can count on

the 10 most unwanted list6
The 10 Most Unwanted List
  • The Maybe Person
    • Your Goal: Help them learn to think decisively
the 10 most unwanted list7
The 10 Most Unwanted List
  • The Nothing Person
    • Your Goal: Persuade the Nothing Person to talk
the 10 most unwanted list8
The 10 Most Unwanted List
  • The No Person
    • Your Goal: Transition to Problem Solving
the 10 most unwanted list9
The 10 Most Unwanted List
  • The Whiner
    • Your Goal: Form a Problem-Solving Alliance
emotional intelligence2
Emotional Intelligence
  • Emotional Intelligence is a highly flexible skill
  • Individuals need to develop an active awareness of their emotions and appropriately manage their behaviors
  • Individuals with high emotional intelligence carry a heightened awareness of other’s emotions and use this knowledge to build positive social relationships
  • Effective leaders exhibit behaviors that correspond to high-levels of emotional intelligence
thank you


Dr. Martin Armstrong – 704.731.1715