REMEMBER: Just because you talk to someone, it doesn’t mean they’re truly LISTENING to you!
I versus YOU • “I” Messages: Way of talking that explains HOW you feel while remaining firm, calm, and polite. • “You” Messages: Messages that blame the other person. • Examples: I am upset that the trash wasn’t taken out VS: YOU never take out the garbage!
3 Communication Styles • Passive • Aggressive • Assertive
Passive Communication • Passive: A Person does NOT offer opposition when challenged or pressured. • Problem? While the person may be nice, they may get taken advantage of. They don’t stick up for themselves; more likely to give into peer pressure to please others. • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDG9PvsVxjo&feature=related
Aggressive Communication • Aggressive: To be hostile and unfriendly. • Problem? Comes across as a bully or a jerk. People MAY give in to an aggressive person’s demand, but not think much of you, or talk behind your back. Instead of diffusing a situation, they’re making it worse. • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvKIfHTYC2E&feature=related
Assertive Communication • Assertive: Express oneself in a direct, respectful way. Uses direct “I” words without blaming others. • Problem? While not 100% perfect, assertive people get their point across without being rude. Quick, to the point, and respectful. • What could the flight attendant have said to the man on his cell phone?
It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. • Manners count.
What did you say? • It’s not only what you say, but HOW you say it! • Tone and Pitch: Conveys the ATTITUDE you are trying to convey. • The more ATTITUDE in your messages, the less likely they are to be heard. • How are you? How ARE you? How are YOU?
Manners Count!! • Don’t forget to say PLEASE and THANK YOU on a regular basis • When? • Asking permission • Emailing a teacher • When receiving something from someone • When asking to borrow something • When someone holds the door open for you • Just because…
Active Listening • Active Listening: Letting the speaker know you are listening. • Clarify anything confusing.
Active Listening/Body Language • Active Listening means: • Look at the speaker • Nod your head • Ask questions • Don’t respond sarcastically • What not to do: • Yawn/look bored • Roll your eyes • Act annoyed
The KEY to friendships • Take turns sharing • Take turns listening • Show empathy • Accept people for who they are • Encourage! • Have fun together • Play together • Be positive with each other
Showing EMPATHY • Empathy: The ability to understandand share another person’s feelings, behaviors, and attitudes from THEIR perspective. • Example: Your friend is crying over a breakup. You couldn’t stand their boyfriend/girlfriend, but you empathize that it’s tough to go through a painful breakup. • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw
I can’t see what you’re thinking! • Think of a furry animal. • What did you think of? • What’s in our mind is not what’s in someone else’s mind. • While you’re writing, describe in DETAIL as if you’re illustrating with your words. SHOW, not tell! DESCRIBE with each sentence so your message is conveyed.
Homework • Communication Interview • Interview must be in PARENTS handwriting for Part 1, and in YOUR handwriting, part 2 • Please translate if parent writes in language other than English