Toxic Masculinity What It Is, How It Hurts, and How Guys Can Do Better

1. Toxic Masculinity: What It Is, How It Hurts, and How Guys Can Do Better Toxicmasculinityisn’tataleofmenbeing“bad”andmasculinitybeingtheproblem.It’sabout unhealthybeliefsandbehaviorthatpressurementobetough,hidetheiremotionsordominate others.Thegoodnews?Thesepatternscanbeunlearned.Let’sdissectwhattoxicmasculinityis, howitfeelsandhowmencanfindhope WhatIsToxicMasculinity? ClearDefinition Toxicmasculinityiswhatyougetwhenyoupoisonmenagainstoneanother withtheideaoffosteringcompetition.Thosearenotthenaturalqualitiesof masculinity.Butthey’renot,infact,opencontainerswherenothingissolid; theyarestiffenedimagesthattrapmen,andhurtmenandeveryonearound them. It’stheequivalentofmenbeinghandedascriptthatstates,“Don’tcry.Don’t talkaboutfeelings.Alwaysbeincontrol.”Livingbythatscriptcantakeatoll onemotionalhealth,relationshipsandevenphysicalwell-being. Thedistinctionbetweenmasculinityandtoxicmasculinity Masculinity itself isn’t the enemy. That’s a healthy masculinity, one that recognizesandcelebratesstrength,leadershipandresponsibilitybutalsoacts withkindness,empathyandlove.Thedistinctionistheprefix“toxic.”Toxic masculinity is a perversion of natural masculine attributes to extremes or harmfulends. Forexample:

2. 2. Toxic Masculinity Traits Therearecertaincharacteristicsthattendtocomeupoverandoveragain whentalkingabouttoxicmasculinity.Thoserootsmayappeardifferentin everyculture,ineveryperson,buttheyremainthesame.Commontoxic masculinitytraitsinclude: Emotionsuppression‒notcrying,beingsad,orevenbeinghappybecause itisseenas“weak”. Aggressionanddominance‒thebeliefthatbeingamanissynonymous withhavingcontrol,usingintimidation,orbeingviolent. Sexualownership‒followingthetechnologicaladvancementstoreduce theemotionalcontactfurtheristhetreatmentofwomenasobjectsinstead ofpeople. Homophobiaandsexism‒ridiculingorshamingmenwhodon’t“fitthe mold.” Riskyacts—consumingalcohol,beingviolentoractingrecklesslytoshow “toughness.”