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Bullying. Facilitated by Lori Zierl Pierce County UW-Extension Family Living Agent. Objectives. Participants will: Understand the harmful effects bullying has on the development of large numbers of children

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Facilitated by Lori Zierl

Pierce County UW-Extension

Family Living Agent

  • Participants will:
    • Understand the harmful effects bullying has on the development of large numbers of children
    • Be able to distinguish between normal conflict & bullying, teasing & taunting, play fighting & real aggression, flirting & sexual harassment
    • Learn how to respond to bullies, victims and bystanders in helpful ways
  • A person is being bullied or victimized when he or she is exposed, repeatedly, and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more persons. (Olweus, 1991)
  • Bullying is a conscious, willful, and deliberate hostile activity intended to harm, induce fear through the threat of further aggression, and create terror. (Coloroso, 2003)
four markers of bullying
Four Markers of Bullying
  • An imbalance of power
  • Intent to harm
  • Repeated over time
  • Terror
  • Bullying is not about anger, it is about contempt
  • Allows kids to harm others without feeling empathy, compassion, or shame.
contempt continued
Contempt (continued)
  • A sense of entitlement
  • An intolerance toward differences
  • A liberty to exclude
types of bullying
Types of Bullying
  • Verbal
  • Physical
  • Relational
verbal bullying
Verbal Bullying
  • Quick and painless for the bully
  • Extremely harmful to the target
  • Becomes normalized and the target dehumanized
physical violence
Physical Violence
  • Accounts for less than 1/3 of bullying
  • Most likely to move on to more serious criminal offenses
  • Most troubled of all bullies
relational bullying
Relational Bullying
  • Most difficult to detect
  • Most powerful in the middle years
  • Used to alienate and reject a peer or to purposefully ruin friendships
family risk factors for bullying
Family Risk Factors for Bullying
  • Lack of warmth and parental involvement
  • Overly-permissive parenting (lack of limits)
  • Lack of supervision by parents
  • Harsh and inconsistent disciplinary practices
  • A model for bullying behavior
normal conflict is not bullying
Normal Conflict is Not Bullying
  • Characteristics of normal peer conflict vary with age and development levels
  • Normal conflict includes:
    • Teasing
    • Arguing
    • Concerns related to rules and fairness
teasing is not taunting
Teasing Is Not Taunting
  • Teasing is a fun thing you do with friends
  • Taunting is a choice to bully someone for whom you have contempt
  • Teaser and person teased

easily swap roles

  • Innocent in motive
  • Not intended to hurt the other person
  • Is discontinued when person teased becomes upset or objects to the teasing
  • Imbalance of power
  • Intended to harm
  • Sinister in motive
  • Involves humiliating, cruel, demeaning comments disguised as jokes
  • Continues especially when targeted kid becomes distressed or objects
bullying versus play fighting
Bullying Versus Play Fighting
  • Facial expressions
  • Free to participate versus forced or challenged
  • Full force
  • Alternating versus unilateral roles
  • Stay together vs. separate
flirting vs sexual harassment
Flirting vs. Sexual Harassment
  • Flirting
    • Reciprocal; goes both ways
    • Flattering or complimentary; not demeaning
    • Boosts self-esteem; makes you feel good/special
  • Sexual Harassment
    • Unwanted and one-sided
    • Degrading and disrespectful
    • Receiver feels powerless
    • Receiver feels humiliated or embarrassed
what about
What About?
  • Cliques
  • Hazing
  • Racist bullying
  • Gangs
  • Cyber bullying
effects of bullying on perpetrators themselves
Effects of Bullying on Perpetrators Themselves
  • More court convictions & jail time
  • Commit more serious crimes
  • More driving offenses & drunk driving
  • More alcoholism & mental health problems
dealing with bullies
Dealing With Bullies
  • Nurture empathy
  • Teach friendship skills
  • Use non-violent discipline
  • Intervene immediately with discipline
  • Create opportunities to “do good”
  • Teach socially acceptable behaviors
the bullied
The Bullied
  • The one thing that all kids who are bullied have in common is that they were targeted by a bully
warning signs of being bullied
Warning Signs of Being Bullied
  • Lack of interest in or refusal to go to school
  • Drop in grades
  • Withdraws from family and school activities
  • Plays alone or prefers to hang out with adults
  • Makes beeline to bathroom when arriving home
  • Stops talking about peers and everyday activities
four antidotes to bullying
Four Antidotes to Bullying
  • Strong sense of self
  • Being a friend
  • Having at least one good friend
  • Being able to successfully get into a group
effective group entry strategies
Effective Group Entry Strategies
  • Teach them to:
    • Observe the group and ask questions
    • Manage their hurt feelings
why kids don t tell
Why Kids Don’t Tell
  • Ashamed of being bullied
  • Afraid of retaliation
  • Don’t think anyone can help them
  • Don’t think anyone will help them
  • Have learned that “ratting” on a peer is bad
telling is not tattling
Telling Is Not Tattling
  • Tattling – if it will only get another child in trouble
  • Telling – if it will get you or another child out of trouble
  • If it is both, I need to know (Coloroso)
if your child is bullied
If Your Child Is Bullied
  • Don’t minimize, rationalize, or explain away the bully’s behavior
  • Don’t rush to solve the problem for your child
  • Don’t tell your child to avoid the bully
  • Don’t tell your child to fight back
  • Don’t confront the bully or the bully’s parents alone
if your child is bullied28
If Your Child Is Bullied
  • Reassure them it is not their fault
  • There are things you can do:
    • Help them develop new friendships
    • Teach them to be confident
    • Teach them to be assertive
  • Report the bullying to school personnel
how to report
How To Report
  • Arrange a meeting with school personnel
  • Bring the facts in writing
  • Develop a plan
  • Find out what procedures the bully will be going through
  • If problem is not addressed adequately, take to school board or police
  • Anyone who knows that bullying is happening
  • “There are no innocent bystanders”
        • Author William Burroughs
the bullying circle by dan olweus phd
The Bullying Circleby Dan Olweus. PhD
  • Bullies
  • Followers/Henchmen
  • Supporters/Passive Bullies
  • Passive Supporters/Possible Bullies
the bullying circle continued
The Bullying Circle(Continued)
  • Disengaged Onlookers
  • Possible Defenders
  • Defenders of the Target
reasons for not intervening
Reasons For Not Intervening
  • Afraid of getting hurt himself
  • Afraid of becoming a new target
  • Afraid of doing something that will only make the situation worse
  • Does not know what to do
changing bystander behavior
Changing Bystander Behavior
  • Promote the development of empathy
  • Improve recognition of bullying
  • Teach children strategies they can use to be helpful
caring schools
Caring Schools
  • Gather information
  • Establish clear rules about bullying
  • Train all adults
  • Provide adequate adult supervision
  • Improve parental awareness
criminal justice system
Criminal Justice System
  • Statutory laws
    • Considered illegal based upon age of offender
    • Developed to protect youth against themselves and society against their immature judgment
  • No statutory protections for youth that are bullied
  • There are clear harmful effects from bullying on the development of large numbers of children
  • Bullying has a devastating impact on children’s ability to focus on academics at school
  • Bullying is a serious problem for school-age children and one for which they receive limited adult help
summary continued
Summary (Continued)
  • Bullying is a complex, distressing problem for children that requires intervention on multiple levels.
  • There are strategies to decrease bullying at the individual child, peer group, and school-wide levels
  • The Bully, The Bullied and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School-How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of ViolenceBarbara Coloroso, 2003
  • Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do

Dan Olweus, 1993

resources continued
Resources (Continued)
  • Sticks and Stones: Changing the Dynamics of Bullying and Youth Violence

Katherine Kocs, 1999

  • Steps to Respect: A Bullying Prevention Program (800-634-4449)


  • Stop Bullying Now.


lori zierl family living agent
Lori ZierlFamily Living Agent

UW-Extension Pierce County

Pierce County Office Building

412 West Kinne Street, P.O. Box 69

Ellsworth, WI 54011-0069

715-273-3531, ext. 6663

University of Wisconsin-Extension, U.S. Dept. of Agriculture and Wisconsin counties cooperating. UW-Extension provides equal opportunities in employment and programming, including Title IX and ADA.