Unit 9

1. Unit 9 Letter of Commiseration

2. Contents • Basic Paragraph-Building Skills • Letter of Commiseration • Writing Practice

3. Content Paragraph Writing 1 Definition of Paragraph 2 Paragraph Structure The Qualities of An Effective Paragraph 3 4 Ways of Developing a Paragraph 5 Basic Paragraph-Building Skills

4. Part II Paragraph Writing 4 Ways of Developing a Paragraph 5 Basic Paragraph-Building Skills

5. 4. Ways of developing a paragraph • Paragraphs are the building blocks of essay development and provide structure when developing the thesis of a paper. Development of a paragraph is necessary to avoid leaving the reader with any significant unanswered questions. A fully developed paragraph provides supporting detail and evidence, and follows a clear pattern of development. There are several different ways to develop effective paragraphs.

6. 4. Ways of developing a paragraph • 1. 列举法(listing) • 2. 举例法(example) • 3. 叙述法(narration) • 4. 对比法或比较法(comparison & contrast) • 5．分类法(classification) • 6．因果分析法(cause and effect) • 7. 定义法(definition) • 8. 重复法(repetition)

7. 1．列举法(listing)　　作者运用列举法，是通过列举一系列的论据对topic sentence中摆出的论点进行广泛、全面地陈述或解释，列举的顺序可以按照所列各点内容的相对重要性、时间、空间等进行。 常用于列举法的过渡连接词有： for one thing , for another, finally, besides, moreover, one another , still another, first, second, also 等。

8. Yesterday was one of those awful days for me when everything I did went wrong. First, I didn't hear my alarm clock and arrived late for work. Then, I didn't read my diary properly and forgot to get to an important meeting with my boss. During the coffee break, I dropped my coffee cup and spoilt my new skirt. At lunch time, I left my purse on a bus and lost all the money that was in it.

9. After lunch, my boss was angry because I hadn't gone to the meeting. Then I didn't notice a sign on a door that said "Wet Paint" and so I spoilt my jacket too. When I got home I couldn't get into my flat because I had left my key in my office. So I broke a window to get in and cut my hand.

10. 根据本段主题句中的关键词组everything I did went wrong，作者列举了8点内容，分别由first, then, during the coffee break, after lunch time等连接词语引出，使得该文条理清楚、脉络分明、内容连贯。

11. 2. 举例法(example) 作者通过举出具体事例来阐述、说明主题句的内容，严格地讲，举例法也是列举法的一种，它们的区别在于： 列举法: 侧重罗列事实，所列事实力求全面； 举例法: 侧重通过举出典型事例来解释作者观点，且事例可多可少。

12. There are many different forms of exercises to suit different tastes. For example, those who enjoy competitive sports may take up ball games. For another example, if they prefer to exercise alone, they can have a run or take a walk in the morning or in the evening. Besides, people can go swimming in the summer and go skating in the winter. In short, no matter what their interests are, people can always find more than one sports that are suitable to them.

13. 本段采用了三个事例来说明主题句中的关键词组different forms of exercises，这三个例子分别由连接词for example, for another example 和 besides引出，最后由引导的结尾句总结全段内容。 举例法中常用的连接词有： for example (instance), one example is, besides, furthermore, moreover, in addition等。

14. 3. 叙述法(narration) 　叙述法发展段落主要是按照事物本身的时间或空间的排列顺序，通过对一些特有过渡连接词的使用，有层次分步骤地表达主题句的一种写作手段。用这种方法展开段落，作者能够清楚连贯地交待事物的本末，从而可以使读者可以清晰、完整地理解文章的含义

15. In the flat opposite, a woman heard the noise outside. When she looked out through the window, she discovered that her neighbor was threatened by someone. She immediately called the police station. In answer to the call, a patrol police car arrived at the scene of the crime quickly. Three policemen went inside the flat at once, and others guarded outside the building to prevent anyone from escaping.

16. 这段是按照事物发展的先后顺序，叙述从发现案情、报警、到警察赶到、包围现场的过程。全文脉络清晰，叙述的层次感强，结构紧凑。　　常用于叙述法中的过渡连接词有：first, at the beginning, to start with, after that, later, then, afterwards, in the end, finally等。

17. 4. 对比法或比较法(comparison & contrast) 将同类的事物按照某种特定的规则进行比较分析是一种常用的思维方法。通过对比，更容易阐述所述对象之间的异同和优缺点 Two ways: a. General comparison 整体对比法； b. Alternate comparison 交替对比法

18. The heart of an electronic computer lies in its vacuum tubes, or transistors. Its electronic circuits work a thousand times faster than the nicer cells in the human brain. A problem that might take a human being a long time to solve can be solved by a computer in one minute.

19. 在这段文字上， 作者为了突出电子计算机运行速度之快，首先将它与人脑进行了比较， “…a thousand times faster than…" ;而后，又将这一概念具体到了 "a problem"上，通过对比使读者从 “…a long time… in one minute"上有更加直观的认识。　　常用于对本法或比较法上的过渡连接词有：than, compared with等。

20. 5．分类法(classification) 在阐述某一概念的段落中，常用分类法。通过对概念中所包括的事物进行分门别类，分别加以叙述，使读者有更为清晰的认识

21. Ever since humans have lived on the earth, they have made use of various forms of communication. Generally, this expression of thoughts and feelings has been in the form of oral speech. When there is a language barrier, communication is accomplished through sign language in which motions stand for letters, words and ideas. Tourists and the people unable to hear or speak have had to resort to this form of expression. (To be continued)

22. Many of these symbols of whole words are very vivid and exact and can be used internationally; spelling, however, cannot. Body language transmits ideas or thoughts by certain actions, either intentionally or unintentionally. A nod signifies approval, while shaking the head indicates a negative reaction. Other forms of nonlinguistic language can be found in signal flags, Morse code, and picture signs.

23. 在该段中为了说明topic sentence中的 "various forms of communication"，作者将其分为oral speech, sign language, body language及other forms of nonlinguistic language，并逐加阐述。　　采用这种方法的段落并没有标志突出的连接词，所述各项均为平行并列关系，所以没有明显的主次之分。

24. 6．因果分析法(cause and effect)The role of women in today's society is changing. One reason is that women have begun to assert themselves as independent people through the women's movement. Also, women are aware of the alternatives to staying at home. Another reason is that increasing numbers of women who enter new fields and interests serve as role models for other women. Moreover, men are becoming more conscious of the abilities of women and have begun to view their independence positively.

25. 本段中，主题句提出了一种社会现象，推展句则对产生这种现象的原因作出各种解释。 常用于因果分析法的连接词有：because, so, as a result等。

26. 7. 定义法(definition) 　在科普文章的写作中，定义法是必不可少的。通过下定义，可以使读者对该事物有一个更直接的认识。 Automation refers to the introduction of electronic control and automation operation of productive machinery. It reduces the human factors, mental and physical, in production, and is designed to make possible the manufacture of more goods with fewer workers. The development of automation in American industry has been called the "Second Industrial Revolution".

27. 这一段文字使我们了解了 “automation”和 “Second Industrial Revolution”两个概念，分别由 “refers to”和 “been called”引出。 常出现在定义法中的词语有：refer to, mean, call等。

28. 8. 重复法(repetition)句子的一部分反复出现在段落中，这就是重复法。它往往造成一种步步紧逼的气氛，使文章结构紧凑，有感染力。比如：Since that time, which is far enough away from now, I have often thought that few people know what secrecy there is in the young, under terror. I was inmortal terror of the young man who wanted my heart and liver; I was in mortal terror of my interlocutor with the iron leg; I was in mortal terror of myself, from whom an awful promise had been extracted.

29. 该段中反复应用了I was in mortal terror of …我经常处于恐怖之中。以上， 我们结合具体文章讨论了展开段落的几种方法。在实际写作中，我们往往不必拘泥于一种写作方法，而是将若干方法穿插在一起，使文章有声有色。

31. Letter of Commiseration • Introduction • Contents of Commiseration Letter • Formats and Samples • Useful Expressions • Points in Writing Commiseration Letter

32. Introduction • Letters of Commiseration, or letters of sympathy are generally written to express concern and giving solace（安慰） on the occurrence of the sad event such as death, accident, serious illness and business loss or may even be loss of employment. • To give and show sympathy can be difficult and thoughtful sympathy letters can be the only and better way to express it. In times of sorrow, few things are more appreciated than a handwritten note, which can be held and saved by the recipient, and read over and over again. Commiseration and condolence(慰问) conveyed in the note can be a great way to give your near and dear ones the support that they are really in need of.

33. Contents of Commiseration Letter • Acknowledge the loss and express your sorrow or sympathy. • Mention the special qualities of the person or thing concerned or good memories with the person or thing concerned. • Offer wish or help • Close with a thoughtful word or phrase

34. Formats and Samples Sample 1 • A letter to a relative who has been injured in a car accident.

35. Sample 1 • April 2, 2010 • Dear Uncle Tom: • You may never know how much we were shocked when we heard that you were injured in a car accident last Sunday. We were, however, a bit relieved to learn later on that the injury was a minor one and you are back home now. But I am sure the shock you received must be overwhelming. I hope you will overcome the shock completely and can enjoy your visit in New York next month. • Love, • May

36. Sample 2 • A letter to a friend who has recently lost his job.

37. Sample 2 • March 16, 2010 • Dear Robert: • I was saddened to hear that you had lost your job at the company. I know that you were so excited about the prospect of working there. I hope that this time it does not become too difficult for you. You are a very capable person and I wish you good luck in finding a new job, and in all your other pursuits. • Remember I am your best friend and will do anything I can for you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. Take care of yourself. • Love, • Becky

38. Sample 3 • A letter to a friend whose dog just died.

39. Sample 3 • Aug. 25, 2010 • Dear Jane • I am sorry to hear about the death of your dog, Barky. I know how much you will miss him. I will miss him jumping up to greet me when I visit you, and I hope that you are doing well during this difficult time. If you ever feel lonely and need someone to talk to, please do not hesitate to call me. • Love, • May

40. Sample 4 • A letter to a friend whose uncle has just passed.

41. Sample 4 • Dec. 23, 2009 • Dear Marry, • 1I was deeply saddened with the news about the death of your uncle. 2I know how difficult it must be for you and your family. 3You are always in my thoughts and prayers. 4your uncle was such a kind person and gentle soul he would do anything to help someone in need. 5I remember one time he helped old Betty with her chocked tunnel. 6I know how much you will miss your uncle. 7May God bless you and your family. • Love, • Sarah

42. Comment: • 1. Acknowledge the loss and refer to the deceased person. • 2-3. Express your sympathy. • 4-5. Note the special qualities of the deceased and favorite memory with the deceased. • 6-7. Express commiseration and express wish.

43. Sample 5 • Dear Colleen , • （Acknowledge the loss） • Our family was deeply saddened today when we heard from Bill that you had lost your mother. • （Express your sympathy） • We are all thinking of you and send our heartfelt sympathy. • （Note special qualities of the deceased or the bereaved, or recount a memory about the deceased） • In the years we lived next door, your mother was the most wonderful neighbor! She was always warm, gracious, and ready to lend a hand. We feel fortunate to have known her. • （Close with a thoughtful word or phrase） • With affection and deepest condolences. • Love, • Lisa

44. Useful Expressions 4-1 Expressions of sympathy: • We were very sorry to learn of… • I was deeply distressed to hear of… • I was deeply concerned when I learned that… • We were shocked to hear of the sudden passing of… • I was indeed grieved (deeply distressed) to hear of the untimely passing of… • It is with great sorrow (regret) that we have received the sad news of the loss of…

45. Useful Expressions 4-2 Expressions of good memories: • We know how much he meant to you. • I had the privilege (honor) of knowing him for many years and always admired his integrity and high quality of business conduct.

46. Useful Expressions 4-3 Expressions of offering wish or help: • We are all praying for your quick and complete recovery. • I wish you a speedy and complete recovery. • Please feel free to contact me if I can be of some help. • If there is anything I can do to help you, please let me know. • My staff join me in conveying our sincere sympathy to members of his family. • Please convey our sympathy to his family. • Please extend our profound sympathy to everyone in your family.

47. Useful Expressions 4-4 Thoughtful words or phrases in closing: • Our love is with you always. • You are in my thoughts and prayers. • My heart and my tears are with you. • We share in your grief and send you our love. • My affectionate respects to you and yours. • We offer our affectionate sympathy and many beautiful memories. • My thoughts are with you now, and I send you my deepest sympathy. • We all join in sending you our heartfelt love.

48. Points in Writing Commiseration Letter • Be prompt in writing a commiseration letter. • Be sympathetic in expressing your concern. • Highlight the positive qualities or good memories with the person concerned. • Use “love” before your signature to show your affection.

49. Writing Practice Write a letter of commiseration according to the following occasions. • Your friend Tony is now in great depression because he lost his job as an accountant due to his minor mistake in his work. • Catherine is your best friend. Her daughter has got a serious disease and need an urgent operation. Catherine is now very anxious about her daughter.