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Explore the characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships, with tips on maintaining positive connections and identifying warning signs of abuse. Learn about communication, respect, and balance in relationships.
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Relationships Types of Relationships
Healthy Relationships • Talk about your feelings. • Respecting each other’s friends and activities. • Considering the other person’s opinions and feelings. • Respecting differences in the other person. • Having an equal say in the relationship. • Feeling like you’re your own person. • Feeling responsible for your own happiness. • Togetherness and separateness are balanced.
Healthy Relationships • Friendships exist outside of the relationship. • Focuses on the best qualities of both people. • Achieving intimacy without chemicals. • Open, honest and assertive communication. • Commitment to the partner • Accepting changes in the relationship • Asking honestly for what is wanted • Working out solutions that are good for both of you.
Unhealthy Relationships • Shouting or yelling when you’re angry at the other person. • Using the “silent treatment” • Unwilling to listen or pouting to get what you want • Blaming the partner for his or her own unique qualities • Believing that one gender has more rights than the other • Feeling incomplete without your partner
Unhealthy Relationships • Relying on your partner for your happiness • Too much or too little togetherness • Inability to establish and maintain friendships with others • Focuses on the worst qualities of the partners • Using alcohol/drugs to reduce inhibitions and achieve a false sense of intimacy • Game-playing, manipulation
Unhealthy Relationships • Jealousy, relationship addiction or lack of commitment • Feeling that the relationship should always be the same • Feeling unable to express what is wanted • Pestering your partner until you get what you want
Abusive Relationships • Dominating and controlling the other person. • Trying to keep your partner away from friends. • Name calling and putdowns • Harassment • Breaking your partner’s possessions. • Threatening harm. • Intimidating through physical abuse or property destruction.
Abusive Relationships • Extreme Jealousy and possessiveness. • Pushing, hitting, biting, burning. • Restraining/holding your partner against his/her will • Using scare tactics • Using sexual putdowns • Forcing sex or sexual touching
ABUSE CYCLE Incident Tension Building Making-up Calm
ABUSE CYCLE Incident Any type of abuse occurs. (Physical, Sexual or Emotional)
ABUSE CYCLE Making-up • Abuser may apologize for abuse • Abuser may promise it will never happen again • Abuser may blame the victim for causing the abuse • Abuser may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims
ABUSE CYCLE Calm • Abuser acts like the abuse never happened • Physical abuse may not be taking place • Promises made during ‘make-up’ may not be met • Victim may hope that the abuse is over • Abuser may give gifts to victim
ABUSE CYCLE Tension Building • Abuser starts to get angry • Abuse may begin • There is a breakdown of communication • Victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm. • Tension becomes too much • Victim feels like they are ‘walking on egg shells’
What to do about abuse? • Step 1 – Confront the abuser. Use, model and teach conflict management skills. • Step 2 – Get help. Talk to a counsellor, teacher, priest, doctor, psychologist, or psychiatrist to get help for the abuser. • Step 3 – Leave the relationship. Get away from the abuser. Take legal action if necessary.