Int 2 Folio Discursive Essay Feedback
Welcome Back • This term Jan – April is going to be very tough. • There will be a lot of assessments, deadlines for folios, practice essays, close-reading and Nabs and of course….a prelim. • Hard word is required! • Remember – Supported Study is on to provided additional help!
Important Dates for the Diary • Electronic copies of discursive essays: Monday 13th January • Textual Analysis Reassessments: Tuesday 14th January (for those of you still to have your 2nd attempt) • Prelim – Date TBC but should be close to January 27th(Close Reading Nab also therefore – very important!)
We are learning to: • Use our feedback to improve our discursive essays.
Feedback from Discursive Essays • I am going to give feedback on the discursive essays….that have been handed in. • Hopefully, this will make the feedback you have received clear. • You may wish to make notes as we discuss this.
Word Counts • The folio essays have a word-count of 1000. You must write an essay that fulfils this word count. • If your essay is lower than 500 words, it will not pass. • If you are at 600 words, you need to think about developing your work. • If you are over, do not fret. We can focus on this when we have a more finished article.
Questions and Titles • Some essays still do not have a question! • You must develop your question as the essay is the answer to it! • Those of your without a question – you are risking your essay lacking focus. • Also – you need a title other than “Discursive Essay”
Can you prove this? • If I have written this – it could mean that you have claimed something without evidence. • You must be able to justify EVERYTHING you state in your essay. • Otherwise, it looks as if you are just waffling.
Bibliography • Some essays were handed in without a bibliography. • You MUST show where you got your evidence from! • Also, if you have given web addresses, you need to be specific from what page you got it from: • www.dailymail.com is too vague • http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2533832/Sexism-storm-call-dumb-job-ads-women.html is better
Developing Arguments • If I have said “you need to develop this,” it means that you have not written enough or you could provide more details. • Try incorporating more research • Developing your arguments • Explaining how the evidence you have used proves your point
Sophisticated Language • Some of you have written very well but we want to ensure that we get the best grades possible for these essays (they are worth 20% after all!) • Begin to use a thesaurus when typing to demonstrate your ability to use highly-sophisticated language. • Highlight a word and right-click and you will see the SYNONYMS options
Clear Opinion • In some case, it wasn’t clear what the opinion was. • You should have at least 3 arguments in favour of the topic and 3 arguments opposing. At times, it is not clear in some essays which is which. • Ensure that you clearly state your opinion in the conclusion only!
Expression • EXP means you have had an error in expression. • This means that what you have written doesn’t make sense when read. • Ensure you read your essay carefully (read it out loud!) to ensure it makes perfect sense as typos can occur.
“You” • These essays need to be formal. • In some occasions, some of “you” over use this expression. • “What if you” “If you did this” “When you commit a crime” • Try to use appropriate language when concerned – people, British people, criminals, sports stars, footballers, critics
Opposite Viewpoint • If you need to develop your essay – you may wish to discuss the view of the opposition that holds merit – but diminish it. • “Some people believe that….However….”
Lack of important details • Depending on your topic – there will be a must-discuss topic. • Ensure you have not missed our yours. • For example : • Marijuana – Holland • Gay marriage – new laws in England and Wales • Assisted Suicide – Dignitas clinic
Signposting • If I had to read “Firstly, Secondly and Thirdly” again… • You may wish to work on signposting so it does not become repetitive.
Examples • Other opinions/arguments/points of view suggest that this is not the case. • Yet there are quite contrary/contradictory views/beliefs… • Opponents of this view would argue… • Given this view/belief/argument • Such opinions/beliefs/views are not universally shared… • Should any solution be possible, then… • If this problem/issue is to be resolved, then… • Certain compromises, it seems, may have to be made if… • Whilst these arguments/solutions may seem plausible, it is not clear that... • Putting these proposals into effect would require… • It remains to be seen whether such a course of action would…