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Anxiety in our children- Don’t forget to Breathe!

Anxiety in our children- Don’t forget to Breathe!. Dr Maeve Martin Inform Psychological Services. www.informpsychology.ie. Whistle-stop tour through child development. Zero to four years Latency period Pre-Puberty

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Anxiety in our children- Don’t forget to Breathe!

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  1. Anxiety in our children- Don’t forget to Breathe! Dr Maeve Martin Inform Psychological Services. www.informpsychology.ie.

  2. Whistle-stop tour through child development • Zero to four years • Latency period • Pre-Puberty • Puberty/Adolescence • Adulthood

  3. Importance of Early Years • Nothing new in this idea “Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man” (Socrates)

  4. Bringing it all together

  5. Changes in Parenting Advice due to development in Research • Reward/Punishment Model (Ignore/punish the bad, reward the good) ………..Versus • Empathic Parenting “Connect then Correct” • Importance of the “Repair” • Good- Enough Parenting (30/70) • Influence of genetics and temperament.

  6. Genetics and Temperament

  7. Changing World = Changing pressures • Internet • Social Media • Parental Separation • Drink/Drugs • Self-harm • Suicide

  8. Most common presenting problems to my clinic in children • Anxiety • Academic struggle • Transitions • Low-Mood • Depression Reasons are multiple.

  9. More about Anxiety in Children- Principal sources of Fear • Anxiety comes from fear and fear is an adaptive response to danger, real or perceived. • Infancy – loud noises, loss of support, strangers, separation • Toddlers (2-4)- Imaginary creatures, the dark (inability to distinguish fantasy from reality) • Early childhood (5-7) Natural disasters (fire etc) injury, animals, media based fears • Middle childhood(8-11) Poor academic and athletic performance • Adolescence (12--) Peer rejection.

  10. Anxiety Disorders in Children • These are extreme fears and worries that cause changes in child’s behaviour, sleep, eating or mood. They are the result of the “fight or flight” response. The most common are; • Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) • Separation anxiety Disorder • Social phobia (social anxiety disorder0 • Specific phobias e.g. animals, throwing up, the dark

  11. Causes of overactive “fight or flight “ response • Genetics. Children may inherit genes that make them prone to anxiety • Brain Chemistry. Genes may direct the way brain chemicals ( called neurotransmitters) If specific brain chemicals are in short supply or not working well, it can cause anxiety. • Life situations. Loss, serious illness, death of a loved one, violence or abuse can all lead to anxiety • Learned behaviours. Growing up in a family where others are fearful or anxious also can “teach” a child to be afraid.

  12. How to help your anxious child • The goal is not to eliminate anxiety but help a child manage it. • Don’t avoid things just because they make a child anxious. When you avoid the fear it stays strong. When you face it, it gets weak. • Express positive but realistic expectations. • Respect their feelings but don’t empower them. Eg child terrified of going to doctor for injection, “ I know you’re scared, that’s ok I’m here and will help you get through it”. • Don’t ask Leading questions “ are you scared about going on school tour”

  13. How to help your anxious child 6. Don’t reinforce your child’s worries with your tone of voice or body language. Eg dog coming towards you 7. Encourage your child to tolerate the anxiety “feel the fear and do it anyway” 8. Try to keep the anticipatory period short. If a child is nervous about going to an appointment shorten the period before you tell them. • Think things through with your child. Eg if a child is worried that their parent might not collect them, having a plan as to what to do, can be a big help. • Try to model healthy ways of handling anxiety., Take that breath!

  14. A word about technology Mobile phones for your teenagers should come with “terms and conditions” E.g. No Devices in the bedroom after bedtime No phones at the dinner table Calls from parents always must be answered

  15. A word about technology Child will not give out personal information online without checking with parent first Child will never agree to meet in real life someone they met on line without checking with parent A time limit on gaming

  16. Staying Sane! Don’t become martyrs to your children, practice how to rest and relax And remember….if your child is beautiful and perfect, never cries or argues, never worries, always does as they are asked……. You’re the Granny!

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