The 7 Habits

1. Busi 30833Foundations of LeadershipStuart A. YoungbloodDan Rogers Hall, Room 166DPhone: 817-257-7562E-Mail: s.youngblood@ tcu.edu

2. The 7 Habits Private Victories (Leading Self) • Be proactive • Begin with the end in mind • Put first things first Public Victories (Leading Others) • Think win-win • Seek first to understand, then to be understood • Synergize • Sharpen the saw

3. Agenda • Habit 1: Be Proactive (I am the programmer) • Maturity Continuum • Principle Centered Leadership • Law of the Harvest: Paradigms • Circle of Concern/Influence • Effectiveness: P / PC Balance • Path to Action/Ladder of Inference • Clever Stories

4. Maturity Continuum • Dependence – my welfare depends mainly on YOU • Habits 1,2, & 3 help you move from dependence to independence • Independence– my welfare depends mainly on ME (private victories) • Habits 4,5, & 6 help you move from independence to interdependence. • Interdependence – my welfare depends mainly on US (public victories)

5. Principle Centered Leadership • Your behavior is based on PRINCIPLES that govern interpersonal relationships, not social values • Why? Principles are objective, timeless, and universal in relationships • Align behaviors & values with principles • Example: Law of the Harvest

6. Law of the Harvest What is the key idea?

15. A Paradigm: The 7 Habits Private Victories (Leading Self) • Be proactive • Begin with the end in mind • Put first things first Public Victories (Leading Others) • Think win-win • Seek first to understand, then to be understood • Synergize • Sharpen the saw

16. In your notes, write down a story of when you became very angry. What happened? Who or what was it that made you angry? … record what you really felt and thought about the other person. …and what you might have said if you let your guard down! What happened to make you so angry?

17. “Experience is half the Experience!”

18. “Experience is not what happens to you; rather, it is what you do with what happens to you!”

19. SEE GET DO A Paradigm: How You See the World

20. Paradigm • SEE– You are a product of your choices • DO– The behaviors that you engage in based on your choices • GET– The results that you earn from your behaviors

21. What is Effectiveness? • P / PC BALANCE • Production – Getting What You Want • Production Capacity – Getting What You Want Again and Again • Example: Aesop’s Fable of the Goose that Laid the Golden Egg • Assets: Physical, Financial, & Human

22. Habit 1: Be Proactive • Definition: Your life is a product of your values (based on principles), not your feelings or your external environment • Proactive mindset – You have the ability & freedom to choose how you will respond • Reactive mindset – You are controlled by outside influences (moods, feelings, circumstances, other people)

23. Stimulus > Response • Healthy adults have the capacity to pause and exercise the FREEDOM TO CHOOSE their responses to stimuli • Four Human Endowments • Self-Awareness (Who I am?) • Imagination (What can I be?) • Conscience (What are my values/principles?) • Independent Will (What is best for me?)

24. Stimulus  Response • Covey asserts that for humans, there is a small space between the S and R, where you can choose your response. S ? R • What do you choose?

25. The Power of CHOICE • You can claim (reclaim) your power by recognizing that you can choose…and have more control over your destiny than you ever imagined • Remember: You either act or the world acts on you. You either choose or let others choose for you.

26. Anger Story Revisited

27. Circle of Concern Circle of Influence Look Back At Your “Anger” Story • Who made you mad?

28. Path to Action We all make sense of experience. Crucial Conversations calls this our path to action. Chris Argyris calls this a ladder of inference.

29. Action Event Where Emotion Comes From(O  F  A) Observe Conclusion Feel ACT Judgment Story

30. On The Wall at Mother Theresa’s Childrens’ Homes in Calcutta • People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered, so Love them anyway • If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives, so Do good anyway • If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies, so Succeed anyway • Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable, so Be honest and frank anyway • People really need help but may attack you if you help them, so Help them anyway • Give the world the best you have & you’ll get kicked in the teeth, so Give the world your best anyway

31. Circle of Concern, Influence • Who is in your circle of concern? • Who is in your circle of influence?

32. Circle of Concern Circle of Influence Circle of Influence What’s the most important thing within the Circle of Influence?

33. Paradigms and Circle of Influence

34. The Power of Language • Proactive Language • I can, I will, I choose, Let’s look at the alternatives, I will take responsibility for that, Let’s get organized, You can count on me …. • Reactive Language • I can’t, I won’t, It’s up to you, There is nothing I can do, That’s the way I am, You make me so mad, They won’t listen to me, I don’t have time, That’s not my thing ….

35. What Will You Change? • Pick one relationship in your current life that you want to improve most…by making new choices (family member, friend, colleague, boss, girl/boy friend, other …) • In your notes, write down the proactive choices that you need to make for this to be possible? • Now, will you act on these choices? When?

36. Language of Proactive Person “You can only stop sabotaging yourself if you don’t think you were someone else’s victim.” Rosabeth Moss Kanter, New York Times, September 19, 2004, bu-7 “A victim is a person who suffers a loss because of the actions of others. Victims believe salvation comes only from the actions of others” Robert E. Quinn, Deep Change, 1997, p. 21

37. Things To Do Watch for three clever stories: • Victim Stories - What am I pretending not to know about my role in this story? • Villain Stories - Why would a reasonable, rational and decent person do or say that … • Helpless Stories - What could I do right now to move toward what I really want?

38. What Is Most Important About Habit 1? YOU ARE THE PROGRAMMER! You can’t “fix” someone else, but you can fix yourself! The door to proactive personal change is locked from the inside.

39. Habit 1: You write the Program

40. End