The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens
Who Am I? • I am your constant companion? I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half the things you do you might just as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly. I am easily managed-you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great individuals and also, of all failures, as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures. I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a human. You can run me for a profit or run me for ruin-it makes no difference to me. Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you. Who am I?
The teenage years are a very stressful time.Problems arise daily. We cannot totally cure the problems of life; we can only manage them.
Seven Habits of Highly Unsuccessful Teens: Habit #1ReactBlame all of your problems on someone else. Be the victim. Take no responsibility for your life. If someone yells, yell back.
Habit #2Begin With no End in MindDon’t have a plan Avoid goals at all costs. Never think about tomorrow. Only live for the moment. Don’t think about the consequences of your actions.
Habit #3 Put First Things LastWhatever is most important in your life don’t do it until you have spent sufficient time talking on the phone, lounging around, watching TV and surfing the net. Always put off homework until the day it’s due. Make sure the things that don’t matter always come before the things that do.
Habit #4Think Win-LoseSee life as a vicious competition. Your classmate is out to get you so you should get them first. Don’t let anyone else succeed at anything because if they do that means you lose. If it looks like you’re going to lose, make sure you drag that sucker down with you.
Habit #5Seek First to Talk, Then Pretend to ListenYou were born with a mouth, so use it. Make sure you talk a lot. Always express your side of the story first. Once you are sure everyone understands your views, then pretend to listen by nodding your head and saying “uh-huh”.
Habit #6Don’t CooperateLet’s face it. Other people are weird because they are different from you. So why try to get along with them? Teamwork is for the dogs, Since you always have the best ideas, you are better off doing everything by yourself.
Wear Yourself OutBe so busy with life that you never take time to renew or improve yourself. Never study. Don’t learn anything new. Avoid exercise like the plague, and for heaven sakes stay away from good books, nature or anything else that may inspire you. Habit #7
Our habits will either make us or break us. We become what we repeatedly do. As writer Samuel Smiles put it: Sow a thought, and you reap an act;Sow an act and you reap a habit;Sow a habit and you reap a character;Sow a character and you reap a destiny.
7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens • Habit #1-Be Proactive- Take responsibility for your life. • Habit #2 -Begin with the End in Mind- Define your mission and goals in life. • Habit #3-Put First Things First- Prioritize and do the most important things first. • Habit #4-Think Win-Win- Have an everyone-can-win attitude. • Habit #5-Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood- Listen to people sincerely. • Habit #6-Synergize- Work together to achieve more. • Habit #7-Sharpen the Saw- Renew yourself regularly.
HABITS 1,2,&3 deal with SELF-MASTERY THE PRIVATE VICTORY-
Habit #1Be Proactive It pays to be proactive. Proactive people:-Are not easily offended.-Take responsibility for their choices.-Think before they act.-Bounce back when something bad happens.-Always find a way to make it happen.-Focus on things they can do something about and don’t worry about things they can’t.We can control only one thing-how we respond to what happens to us.
Habit #2Begin with the end in mind- Control your own destiny or someone else will. The paths you choose now can affect you forever. If you don’t decide your own future, someone else will do it for you.A personal mission statement.A personal mission statement is like a personal motto that states what your life is about. It is like the blueprint to your life. Go for the Goal.Once you have your mission in place, you should set goals. Goals are more specific than a mission statement, and can help you break down your mission statement into bite size pieces.
Habit #3 • Put First Things First- • Manage your time wisely. • Overcome the fear and pressure that keeps you from dealing with your top priorities. • Never let your fears make your decisions. • Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mt. Everest, said, “It’s not the mountain weconquer, but ourselves”.
The Time Quadrants • The ProcrastinatorExam tomorrow Late for work Project due today • The Prioritizer Planning, goal setting Essay due in a week Exercise Relaxation • The Yes-Man Unimportant calls Interruptions Peer pressure • The Slacker Too much TV Or video games Endless phone calls Time wasters
THE PUBLIC VICTORY- HABITS 4,5,& 6 • The concepts dealing with habits 4, 5, and 6 revolve around relationships and making them work. Remember, the key to mastering relationships is to first master yourself. What is the most important ingredient in a relationship? • Writer Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you are saying”. If you are struggling in your relationships with friends, parents, teachers, take a strong look at yourself. • The private victory helped you to take responsibility for yourself and helped you to understand that you create your own destiny. The public victory helps you realize that you are a team player and that cooperation is essential for success. Your ability to get along with others will largely determine how successful you are in your career and your level of personal happiness.
Habit 4Think Win-Win- Assertive people- This is like an endless buffet. The more giving you are, the more that comes back to you.Win-Win is an attitude toward life, a mental frame of mind that says I can win, and so can you. It’s not me or you; it is both of us. It is the foundation for getting along well with other people. It begins with the belief that we are all equal, and that no one is inferior or superior to anyone else, and no one really needs to be.
Life Attitudes • Win-Lose –These people achieve what they want at the expense of others. C.S. Lewis wrote “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. • Lose-Win-People with a lose-win mindset are easily intimidated and readily give in or go along with others: they fail to assert their own thoughts and feelings. • Lose-Lose- People with this model, approach differences with fear. They avoid conflicts, which therefore cannot be resolved, and everybody loses. “If I’m going down, you are going down with me. Examples: War, possessive relationships. • Win-Win- These people believe that everyone can win; there is more than enough to go around for everyone, when each person’s needs and interests are understood and respected. It’s possible to find a solution that benefits and considers everyone.
Habit #5 • Seek First to Understand, Then To Be Understood- Try to understand someone else’s point of view before sharing your own and a whole new world will be open up to you. Take the time to listen without judging or giving advice.
Please Listen • When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I have asked. When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings. When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem. Listen! All I ask is that you listen. Don’t talk or do-just hear me.
These are five poor listening styles: • Spacing out- acting out of it-ignoring • Pretend listening- saying yeah, uh-huh, cool but not really being genuine • Selective listening -paying attention to only part of the conversation • Word listening- listening to only words and not the meaning or the body language associated with it. • Self-centered listening -listening to see things from our own point of view- “I know just how you feel. Oh, that’s nothing, listen to this one.” Judging, probing, and advising are three methods of self-centered listening.
Habit #6SynergizeWhen two or more people work together to create a better solution than either one could alone. Examples: A good band; a bird eating bugs off the back of a cow We must recognize that people view the world from their own point of view. We have different styles, traits, and characteristics.Synergy Action Plan Define the problem or opportunity-Their Way-Seek first to understand the ideas of othersMy Way-Seek to be understood by sharing your ideasBrainstorm-Create new options and ideasHigh Way-Find the best solution
Habit #7Sharpen the Saw-It’s ME timeThis is the time when you renew the four key dimensions of your life-your body, brain, heart, and soul.The four dimensionsPhysical, mental, emotional, and spiritualWe must stay in a healthy balance
The seven habits can help you: • Get control of your life. • Improve your relationships with your friends. • Make smarter decisions. • Get along with your parents. • Define your values and what matters most to you. • Get more done in less time. • Increase your self-confidence. • Find balance between school, work, friends, and everything else.