Loading in 2 Seconds...
Loading in 2 Seconds...
Questions: • What do you want in your ‘romantic’ relationships over the next 5 years? • Over the next 10 years? • What advantages are/would be added to your life with a romantic relationship? • Any disadvantages? • How does/would a “significant other” relationship enhance or complicate other goals you have in next 5 years?
What is the best foundation for a close relationship with a ‘significant other’ at your age? • In 5 years from now? • What do your think is the best way to relate sexually? Why? • Identify the best ways you think you can accomplish “intimacy” goals at this time in your life. • During your college years?
How important is it to you (to your self-esteem, social identity) to have a boyfriend? • Is love a need or a gift? • How do you know if you are truly loved or not? • If you belong to the lonely hearts club (hey – we’ve all been there!!!) do you think you want a boyfriend out of need or giving yourself or both? • In Chastity article, how do most you know perceive sex? (pp1-3)
By Heather Gallagher and Peter Vlahutin Notes fromA Case for Chastity
“Understanding is the reward of faith.”
So let’s understand… A case for chastity
What Choices Do I Have re: Sex? • an extracurricular activity • committed relationship • if we love each other • to gain love • when “I’m ready” • with that “special someone” • to gain experience
all but… • as increased affection (if with one, need to be with another one ‘more special’) • “just happened” before we knew it • under the influence • necessary evil • I determine what it means • abstinence only until marriage
Some Consequences of Sex (outside of marriage): • 1. Sex may not be as meaningful • 2. Stuck in unhealthy relationships • 3. Poor communication and problem- solving skills • 4. Stunting of personal growth • 5. Feelings of jealousy and suspicion • 6. Feeling used and experiencing lower self-esteem
7. Worry about STDs or pregnancy • 8. Lack of trust or fear of future commitments • 9. Feelings of regret • 10. Blurred perspective of one’s partner • 11. Not considering one’s future life partner • 12. Comparisons to past lovers • 13. Lack intimacy with God
Chastity Provides: • 1. Freedom to experience meaningful, passionate sex in marriage • 2. Freedom to date creatively • 3. Freedom to dump losers • 4. Freedom to trust and be trusted • 5. Freedom to know we are trusted as a person, not just as a body
6. Freedom from STDs, unplanned pregnancy, and worries associated with both • 7. Freedom to develop solid communication skills • 8. Freedom to experience peace of mind • 9. Freedom to share a unique bond with our spouse
10. Freedom to heal from past sexual relationships • 11. Freedom to be intimate with God • 12. Freedom to really love and be loved
Is sexual expression about “real love” or “chocolate love”? chocolate love = “I love chocolate” real love = “I love my family”
Remember… Sex is • physical • intellectual • emotional • spiritual
Let’s brainstorm – dyads • In your opinion are the majority of people your age (in your community) waiting, or not waiting, to be sexually active • In the media you observe? • For those not waiting, what do you think are the reasons?
4. For those waiting, what do you think they do to have fun with friends of the opposite sex? • Imagine it’s you -- what can you do to show affection and build a close relationship without having sex? • Is this difficult to do? Why/ why not?
IMAGINE… You are dating someone you really like: • What are creative ways you can spend time together without having sex? • Where do you draw a line? • How do you draw a line? • When do you draw a line?
What to Do? You can • Make a commitment to chastity • Date differently, if you need to (leave unhealthy relationships • Live differently; get closer to God, be sober and try to keep a pure mind • Think of your future spouse • Build self-esteem from girlfriends • Be empowered!