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Conflict Resolution and The Art of Listening. Welcome to Conflict Resolution Day!!. This material has been adapted from The Art of Listening developed by Learning Seed, 2007 www.learningseed.com. Agenda Opening The Seven Laws of Better Listening Self Awareness and Speech Patterns

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Presentation Transcript
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This material has been adapted from The Art of Listening developed by Learning Seed, 2007

www.learningseed.com

Agenda

Opening

The Seven Laws of Better Listening

Self Awareness and Speech Patterns

Interactive Exercises

Perception Filters

Role of Feelings

Summary

were you listening
"Were You Listening?”
  • Each participant is asked a few questions about themselves - like "Describe yourself", "What do you do in your free time?", "Who is your favorite author?", etc. by the others.
  • All members listen to the others as well as share information about themselves.
  • Observer Role: make a note of the answers given by each participant. Then randomly asks the members to describe the others.
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Spend more time listening

  • Find interest in the other person
  • Stay out of the way
  • Listen to what people mean between the lines
  • Take notes
  • Assume the proper stance
  • Be aware of your filters
listening self awareness and speech patterns
Listening Self Awareness and Speech Patterns
  • Round 1: Talk to each other using only it-statements. No questions allowed. Have each sentence begin with “it”. Example: “It’s a nice day.”
  • Conversation should be as normal as possible within the limits of the restriction.
listening self awareness and speech patterns1
Listening Self Awareness and Speech Patterns
  • Round 2: The restriction this time is to begin each sentence with a “you”. Once again no questions, only statements.
  • Conversation should be as normal as possible within the limits of the restriction
listening self awareness and speech patterns2
Listening Self Awareness and Speech Patterns
  • Round 3: This time use only “we” statements.
listening self awareness and speech patterns3
Listening Self Awareness and Speech Patterns
  • Round 4: Use only sentences beginning with the word “I” this time, but do not begin a sentence with “I think.”
listening self awareness and speech patterns4
Listening Self Awareness and Speech Patterns
  • Round 5: This round has two parts.
  • Part one: One person asks a question beginning with “why” and the other answers with a statement beginning with “because.” Ask only here and now questions and allow partners to switch roles halfway through.
listening self awareness and speech patterns5
Listening Self Awareness and Speech Patterns
  • Round 5:
  • Part two: Again a question-answer sequence. This time begin the questions with “how” or “what” (“How come” is forbidden since this is a version of “why”.) There is no restriction here on answers.
an experience in non listening
An Experience in Non Listening
  • One person in each group is the “referee.” The responsibility of the referee is to time the three minutes and to warn participant who might attempt to listen.
  • The other group members should carry on a three minute discussion or conversation in which there is no listening (hearing is permitted, but no listening). The “conversation” can be on any topic the group wishes.
an experience in listening
An Experience in Listening
  • One person in each group is the “referee.” The responsibility of the referee is to time the three minutes
  • The other group members should carry on a three minute discussion or conversation in which there is listening .The “conversation” can be on any topic the group wishes.
  • Remember to observe the rules of “duo-logue”.
rules of duo dialogue
Rules of Duo-Dialogue
  • Before you state an opinion, you must summarize what the last speaker said. The summary must be in your own words (a content echo, not a word-for-word echo) and satisfy the speaker that you did indeed understand.
  • Only when the previous speaker agrees you have summarized his or her statement can you proceed. If not, further explanation is needed until a summary is accepted.
  • During a summary, do not state new information or present your own opinion.
he said she said
He Said She Said

People have different “perceptual filters”

Value of communication and its intimacy for its own sake

Listen to understand

Negotiation to reach consensus or give support

Relaxing

  • See communication as information
  • Listen to problem solve
  • Jockey for position
  • Chance to compete
listening for feelings
Listening for Feelings

Situation Statement What Feeling Possible Response

is Expressed

School “Why do we have

(Teacher) to study this stupid stuff?”

After viewing a film “It was a bore.”

Family meal “But I don’t want any

(child speaking) dinner”

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Thank you!

  • Reference – Learning Seed, 2007
  • www.learningseed.com
  • http://www.learningseed.com/_guides/1158_Art_Of_Listening_Guide.pdfConflict Resolution Day website