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Exemplary introduction

Life is constantly playing against you. Sometimes the game is easy and the ball always lands in the court. But other times, your arm gets tired and your eyes are full of sunlight. No matter the effort you make to swing your racket, to keep running with the ball, the odds of you losing are equal to winning. That's what life is about, to keep sweating and serving, even if you are exhausted. That is why I find l life is a tennis game.

BIG IDEAS, but not random. Clear and clever clues that allude to the metaphor BEFORE it’s introduced.

Exemplary characterization
Exemplary Characterization

  • Her face, clear of makeup scowled at me. Directly below her unbrushed, short black hair, her hazel eyes held a concerned, but annoyed look. Clothed in sweatpants and her baggie Dierks Bentley tshirt, my mom gestured exaggeratedly towards the washing machine, her mouth moving rapidly.

    • Great characterization. Does your character description go beyond cliché?

Exemplary reflection at the end of a narrative anecdote
Exemplary Reflection at the End of a Narrative Anecdote

  • Just as hard work with fundraising was essential to get to go to boy scout camp, hard work with research was essential to our mission.

    • Clear and explicit relationship to metaphor …boy scout camp and story … Mars Rover.

    • Consider using this shell:

      • Just as _______, _______ was also _______.

Exemplary extension partial
Exemplary Extension (partial)

  • All artists, like people, will make mistakes. Mistakes can be overcome by learning from them just as artist can transform a mishap into an element of art.

    • Clear connection to metaphor. Alludes to what story will be told in the narrative.