How Balanced Am I?. Introducing, from Keuwl Labs…. Upgrade-Ya. The ‘Three Wishes’ just got better. Isn’t that a song?. No, that’s Upgrade U by Beyonce feat. Jay-Z.
Introducing, from Keuwl Labs…
The ‘Three Wishes’ just got better
Upgrade-Ya is a brilliant new product from Keuwl Laboratories that essentially makes sure that you are perfect and exactly who you want to be.
No longer will you ever need to wish upon a star or blow on dandelions. Upgrade-Ya can make you fatter or thinner, taller or shorter, prettier or uglier, with little or no side effects!
Benefits and Disadvantages
Arguments For and Against
You will only be healthy on the outside, not the inside. You can’t change that, just your outward appearance.
So, what if Upgrade-Ya really doesn’t make you more healthy and good looking, because insideyou will be feeling rubbish? Wouldn’t this affect your appearance as well?
And self-esteem. If your self-esteem is apparently being boosted by this, wouldn’t it just go down again because of the sickness?
But what about the benefits? You can get higher self-esteem for more than one place, you know. More friends will give you more respect for yourself, ergo, higher self-esteem.
Isn’t it better to feel good about yourself than feel like you constantly need to improve?
Happiness is important. If you have to change yourself to feel good about yourself, then that is entirely your own choice.
Aha! But your friends won’t be true friends. They won’t like you for who you are, only for who you want to be. It is better to have real friends who respect you the way you are, and don’t try to change you just so you can fit in. You would be living a fake life that way, and wouldn’t be the real you.
While I agree that the happiness of the individual in question is important, nothing is so important that you have to change yourself drastically to achieve it.
The point is, how can you be balanced without earning it? Answer: you can’t be. Because nothing else can affect the changes wrought by nature, it gives people drive. If you want to change the way you look, you have to work for it. Upgrade-Ya is just another way of cheating nature. People thought immortality would be a good idea: it isn’t. The same principles apply to Upgrade-Ya.
At the moment, without factors like Upgrade-Ya, I believe that I am relatively well balanced.
Exercise: I play tennis and hockey, and I enjoy swimming. Not laps, though. I also walk/scooter to school every day.
Food: My favourite food is vegetarian spring rolls – go figure. My average lunch is salad, fruit and Milo.
Drinks: I don’t like any fizzy drinks, so that counts in my favour.
Besides, imagine a world full of identical people. You might think “how do you get to that conclusion?”, but if everyone had the same concept of beauty (as they would undeniably have) then everyone would want to look like that.
Compared to that, identifying identical twins is a piece of cake.
With whipped cream, sprinkles and a bucket of cherries on the top.
Thank you.I’ll be here all week. And the next week. And the next one, and the next one, and the next three, and the next two, and the next one.
Product (Upgrade-Ya): Kim Heeley
Keuwl Labs: Kim Heeley
Text: Kim Heeley
Facts: Kim Heeley’s Health Workbook
All Ideas: Kim Heeley
Pictures: PhotoShop CS4 (Made by Kim Heeley, original photos from Heeley-Brown photos)
Latin: Lingua Latine Occasionibus Omnibus (Latin For All Occasions) by Henry Beard. A wholly remarkable book.
From Keuwl Laboratories
This product is entirely fictitious. Any attempt to sue Miss Heeley will be refuted on the grounds de stella Martis vere venisti. Enjoy the rest of your day.