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How Balanced Am I?. Introducing, from Keuwl Labs…. Upgrade-Ya. The ‘Three Wishes’ just got better. Isn’t that a song?. No, that’s Upgrade U by Beyonce feat. Jay-Z.

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how balanced am i

How Balanced Am I?

Introducing, from Keuwl Labs…

upgrade ya
Upgrade-Ya

The ‘Three Wishes’ just got better

no that s upgrade u by beyonce feat jay z
No, that’s Upgrade U by Beyonce feat. Jay-Z.

Upgrade-Ya is a brilliant new product from Keuwl Laboratories that essentially makes sure that you are perfect and exactly who you want to be.

No longer will you ever need to wish upon a star or blow on dandelions. Upgrade-Ya can make you fatter or thinner, taller or shorter, prettier or uglier, with little or no side effects!

upgrade ya1
Upgrade-Ya

Comparison

comparison
Comparison
  • Instant results
  • Changes according to your desire, not nature’s
  • Expensive
  • Changes can be duplicated, erased, undone and enhanced
  • Unique
  • Takes time
  • Unpredictable and not necessarily according to your taste
  • Free
  • Once something is done, it can’t be undone
  • The same for everyone

Upgrade-Ya

Nature

upgrade ya2
Upgrade-Ya

Benefits and Disadvantages

upgrade ya3
Upgrade-Ya
  • Boosts self-esteem
  • Easier to fit in with people
  • Easier to make new friends
  • Makes you feel happier with your image
  • Stops things like anorexia through peer pressure
  • Makes you unfit
  • Makes you unhealthy
  • Natural development and growth is stunted
  • Natural character building is destroyed
  • Makes you lose that sense of self that makes each and everyone unique.

Benefits

Disadvantages

upgrade ya4
Upgrade-Ya

Arguments For and Against

argument against
Argument Against

You will only be healthy on the outside, not the inside. You can’t change that, just your outward appearance.

So, what if Upgrade-Ya really doesn’t make you more healthy and good looking, because insideyou will be feeling rubbish? Wouldn’t this affect your appearance as well?

And self-esteem. If your self-esteem is apparently being boosted by this, wouldn’t it just go down again because of the sickness?

argument for
Argument For

But what about the benefits? You can get higher self-esteem for more than one place, you know. More friends will give you more respect for yourself, ergo, higher self-esteem.

Isn’t it better to feel good about yourself than feel like you constantly need to improve?

Happiness is important. If you have to change yourself to feel good about yourself, then that is entirely your own choice.

argument against1
Argument Against

Aha! But your friends won’t be true friends. They won’t like you for who you are, only for who you want to be. It is better to have real friends who respect you the way you are, and don’t try to change you just so you can fit in. You would be living a fake life that way, and wouldn’t be the real you.

While I agree that the happiness of the individual in question is important, nothing is so important that you have to change yourself drastically to achieve it.

slide19

The point is, how can you be balanced without earning it? Answer: you can’t be. Because nothing else can affect the changes wrought by nature, it gives people drive. If you want to change the way you look, you have to work for it. Upgrade-Ya is just another way of cheating nature. People thought immortality would be a good idea: it isn’t. The same principles apply to Upgrade-Ya.

how balanced am i then
How Balanced Am I, Then?

At the moment, without factors like Upgrade-Ya, I believe that I am relatively well balanced.

Exercise: I play tennis and hockey, and I enjoy swimming. Not laps, though. I also walk/scooter to school every day.

Food: My favourite food is vegetarian spring rolls – go figure. My average lunch is salad, fruit and Milo.

Drinks: I don’t like any fizzy drinks, so that counts in my favour.

slide21

That is my answer to the Unit Question. I hope this makes people understand why changing yourself is not always a good idea.

slide22

Besides, imagine a world full of identical people. You might think “how do you get to that conclusion?”, but if everyone had the same concept of beauty (as they would undeniably have) then everyone would want to look like that.

result

Result:

Compared to that, identifying identical twins is a piece of cake.

With whipped cream, sprinkles and a bucket of cherries on the top.

slide24

Thank you.I’ll be here all week. And the next week. And the next one, and the next one, and the next three, and the next two, and the next one.

slide26

Slideshow: Kim Heeley

Product (Upgrade-Ya): Kim Heeley

Keuwl Labs: Kim Heeley

Text: Kim Heeley

Facts: Kim Heeley’s Health Workbook

All Ideas: Kim Heeley

Pictures: PhotoShop CS4 (Made by Kim Heeley, original photos from Heeley-Brown photos)

Latin: Lingua Latine Occasionibus Omnibus (Latin For All Occasions) by Henry Beard. A wholly remarkable book.

disclaimer

Disclaimer

From Keuwl Laboratories

slide28

This product is entirely fictitious. Any attempt to sue Miss Heeley will be refuted on the grounds de stella Martis vere venisti. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Keuwl Laboratories