Working with difficult people
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Working with Difficult People . Let’s Know……. Why people are difficult Types of difficult behavior Coping skills and techniques to help you communicate . Why Are People Difficult? . People feel Rushed — not enough time Insecure Angry And have some need or interest Stressed!!!.

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Presentation Transcript

Let s know
Let’s Know……

  • Why people are difficult

  • Types of difficult behavior

  • Coping skills and techniques to help you communicate

Why are people difficult
Why Are People Difficult?

  • People feel

    • Rushed — not enough time

    • Insecure

    • Angry

    • And have some need or interest

  • Stressed!!!

A difficult person can be
A Difficult Person Can Be ...

  • Hostile-Aggressive

  • Know-It-All

  • Yes-Person

  • Whiner

  • Never-Say-A-Word

  • Indecisive Staller

  • No-Person

Hostile aggressive aka the tank
Hostile AggressiveAKA “The Tank”

  • Bullies their way toward the results they want.

  • Belittles you in front of anyone.

  • Tries to convince you that you are doing a poor job when you are doing fine.

The know it all
The Know-It-All

  • Controls people and events by dominating conversation with lengthy, imperious arguments.

  • Tries to find flaws in everything.

The yes person
The Yes-Person

  • Answers “Yes” to every request without thinking about what is being promised .

  • Has deep-seated anxiety and a lot of resentment.

  • Seeks approval and avoids disapproval.

  • And even if all the promises can be kept, the Yes-Person no longer has a life!

The no person
The No-Person

  • Able to defeat big ideas with a single syllable

  • Deadly to morale

The whiner
The Whiner

  • Avoids taking responsibility.

  • Wants sympathy.

  • Has negative view of the world.

  • It’s important for these people to get their opinions across. If you ignore them, they increase their protests.

The never say a word aka the clam
The Never-Say-A-WordAKA “The Clam”

  • Timid, uncomfortable, and uncertain.

  • Wants to avoid conflict or hurting anyone.

  • Often feels angry because “the wrong decision” was made.

  • Some can’t relate authentically or speak honestly.

The indecisive staller
The Indecisive Staller

  • Could be an overwhelmed “Yes-Person.”

  • Could be a procrastinator.

  • Has reservations about the project.

  • Doesn’t organize or prioritize work.

Difficult person coping plan

Difficult Person :Coping Plan

1.Assess the “Situation”

2. Stop wishing they were “different”!

3. Get distance between you and the difficult behavior

4. Formulate a plan for interrupting the interaction

5. Implement strategy

6. Monitor coping process

7. Modify or abandon plan, if necessary

Dealing with the tank
Dealing with “The Tank”

  • If possible, get them to sit down.

  • Don’t back down. Let them vent. Don’t take it personally. Step away from the emotion.

  • Identify their issue–the facts of the matter.

  • Explain benefits of your point of view. Express your side in factual terms.

  • Allow aggressor to “save face.”

Dealing with the know it all
Dealing with the Know-It-All

  • Know your facts. Be prepared.

  • Listen carefully and paraphrase the main points.

  • Use questions to raise issues.

  • If necessary, subordinate yourself to avoid static and commit yourself to building a more equal relationship in the future.

Dealing with the yes person
Dealing with the Yes-Person

  • Work to get to the underlying issues.

  • Tell how much you value them as people.

  • Give them permission to say “No.”

  • Ask them to tell about any aspect of your product that is not as good as the best.

  • Listen to their humor -- hidden messages?

Dealing with the no person
Dealing with the No-Person

  • Work to get to the underlying issues.

  • Find out the reason for disagreement

  • Show the other side

  • Show the benefits

Dealing with the whiner
Dealing with the Whiner

  • Don’t respond if they are blaming you. Don’t sympathize if they are at fault.

  • Make a list of all complaints from constant complainers before you discuss problem.

  • Make sure the facts are correct.

  • Make the Whiner propose solutions to fix the problem.

Dealing with the clam
Dealing with “The Clam”

  • Try to draw them out about topics that are non-threatening.

  • Ask open-ended questions.

  • Wait for a response -- calmly. (Don’t fill the silence with your chatter.)

  • If you get no response, comment on what’s happening. End your comment with an open-ended question.

Dealing with the staller
Dealing with the Staller

  • Help document their goals and deadlines

  • Listen for indirect words, hesitations.

  • Ask them how you can help them achieve their goals.

  • Follow up on intermediate deadlines. Hold them to the deadlines.

  • Make it easy for them to tell you what is preventing their action.

It s all about attitude
It’s All About ATTITUDE!

  • You are not going to change THEM.

  • You will have to work with THEM.

  • You are the one who can make the change.

  • Make it happen!

  • Be Positive

Principles of human behavior
Principles of Human Behavior

  • All people are motivated .

  • You cannot motivate others ; you can provide the environment, skills, etc.

  • People do things for their reasons, not ours.

  • We are all different...Relationships should complement and complete each other.

Communication is the key
Communication Is The Key...

  • Be clear about what is to be done.

  • Be clear about who is to do it.

  • Two parts to the message

    • Speaker has an image

    • Listener has an image

    • Are they the same?

Offline coping techniques
Offline Coping Techniques

  • Don’t take their behavior or words personally.

  • Write down details of what annoys you.

  • Think about why it annoys you.

  • Which of your buttons does this person push? Why do you respond to them in the way you do?

Offline coping techniques continued
Offline Coping Techniques (continued)

  • How would you like to respond? List the advantages of different responses.

  • Monitor yourself.

  • Give yourself positive feedback when you succeed in not getting caught up in the emotions of difficult people.

  • Be a happier person by handling all those you encounter with charm and grace.

Some final tips
Some Final Tips

  • Give support where needed.

  • Be an information broker.

  • Learn to keep it light.

  • Don’t forget to smile.