Understanding self and others

1. Understanding self and others

2. The self • Answers the question ‘who am I?’ • Meanings attached to a person by self and others that are based on personal characteristics and on people’s social roles and membership in various groups • Person can have multiple selves stemming from a variety of identities (Self-pluralism) • Ideal/possible self

3. The self • Product of • What you are • What society expects you to be • What experiences you have and how you deal with them

4. Self-presentation/impression management: Revealing yourself to others • Self-consciousness – the process of knowing oneself • Self monitoring - what do you present and why • Presenting your true self - makes one vulnerable, so we prefer to act according to social expectations, wear masks and remain enigmas • Assumption of maturity and sensitivity • Of course, sometimes even we do not know our true selves (cf self-consciousness)

5. Johari window • The most useful model to describe the process of human interaction, more specifically of giving and receiving feedback • Model depicts communication windows through which feedback is given and received • Through feedback and disclosure, you can reveal more about yourself to others and learn more about yourself from others

6. Johari window model Ask Unknown by self Known by self 1 2 Feedback solicitation blind area open/free/public arena area Known by others Tell Self- disclosure/exposure Shared Discovery Others’ observation Self-discovery hidden/facade area unknown area Unknown by others 3 4

7. Principles of change in the Johari window • A change in one quadrant affects other quadrants • It takes energy to hide/deny/be blind to behaviour that is involved in interaction • Trust increases awareness • Forced awareness is undesirable and usually ineffective • The smaller the open area, the poorer the communication

8. Interpersonal learning means a change has taken place so the Q1 is larger and one or more of the other quadrants also has grown smaller. • Working with others is facilitated by a large enough area of free activity. An increased Q1 means more of the resources and skills in the relationships can be applied to a task. • There is universal curiosity about the Unknown area, but is held in check by custom, social training and diverse fears. • Sensitivity means appreciating the covert aspect of behaviour, in quadrant 2, 3 and 4, and respecting the desire of others to keep them so.

9. Under Condition of Self Disclosure 2 1 3 4 Under Condition of Feedback 1 2 3 4 Under Condition of Self Disclosure and Feedback 1 2 3 4 http://saweb.weber.edu/elibrary/StructuredExperience/PDF/P-FB/P-FB-1.pdf

10. Initial phase of group interaction Open Blind Hidden Unknown Later phase of group interaction Blind Open Unknown Hidden

11. Feedback • Purpose of feedback • Helps us see ourselves as others see us • Others learn how we see them • In so doing, it helps us move towards our goals • Presupposes a caring, trusting environment • Which reduces defensiveness • Which maximises personal growth • The desire for feedback is often off-set by the fear of asking for such information

12. The appropriate way • Feedback should be given such that the person receiving it • Hears it in the most objective, least distorted way possible • Understands it • Retains the choice of using/not using it • People need to be trained to give feedback • Should be given such that the recipient preserves his/her self-esteem

13. Indirect versus direct expression of feelings • Indirect is safer because it is ambiguous and offers an escape from commitment and rejection • Description versus interpretation of behaviour • Description focuses on observable aspects whereas interpretation involves attributing intention and could be wrong • Non-evaluative versus evaluative feedback • Non-evaluative looks at behaviour rather than personal worth and refrains from value-judgments • Specific versus general feedback • Specific gives you an opportunity to know what to change

14. Freedom of choice to change versus pressure to change • Freedom of choice to change means that the decision to act on the feedback is voluntary rather than imposed • Immediate versus delayed timing • Immediate feedback is most effective since memory is vivid • External versus group feedback • Contingent on circumstances • Solicited versus imposed feedback • Solicited is more useful since recipient is open

15. Modifiable versus unmodifiable behaviour • Conscious desire to change is critical • Motivation to help versus motivation to hurt • Displacement and projection precipitate harm and conflict • Data-based versus impressionistic • Positive and negative versus completely negative • Suggestive versus prescriptive • Constructive versus destructive

16. Receiving feedback • Elicit versus wait • Listening and self-analysis versus denial and rationalisation • Clarifying versus assuming

17. References • Assigned course readings • http://www.noogenesis.com/game_theory/ johari/johari_window.html for Johari window

18. Benefits of knowing oneself • Self-awareness promotes personal growth, which in turn enhances overall functioning (including work performance)

19. Self-consciousness: The process of knowing oneself • Existentialist orientation coupled with personal courage and conviction • Conducive socio-cultural environment • Living comfortably with complexity and contradiction • Willingness and ability to change • Time and energy for introspection

20. Johari Window: The Open-Receptive Person Known To Self Unknown To Self Known To Others Unknown To Others The open-receptive person has a large public area, reflecting someone who is open about him/herself and receptive to feedback from others. This is the person who has a clear self-image and enough confidence in who he/she is to be visible to others. If in a management role, the open-receptive person has employees who tend to feel respected and encouraged to grow.

21. Johari Window: The Pumper Known To Self Unknown To Self Known To Others Unknown To Others The pumper has a large hidden area, reflecting someone who keeps information with him/herself. This is a person who is always asking for information and giving little in return – the game player. If the pumper is in a management role, employees tend to feel defensive with and resentful of this individual.

22. Johari Window: The Blabbermouth Known To Self Unknown To Self Known To Others Unknown To Others The blabbermouth has a large blind area, reflecting someone who talks a lot but does not listen too well. This is the person who is pre-occupied with him/herself and doesn't know when to keep quiet. If the blabbermouth is in a management role, employees tend to get annoyed with this person and eventually will either actively or passively learn to shut him/her up.

23. Johari Window: The Hermit Known To Self Unknown To Self Known To Others Unknown To Others The hermit has a large unknown area, reflecting a lack of self-knowledge and understanding. This is a person you can’t figure out. The hermit’s behaviour tends to be unpredictable and security-oriented. If in a management role, employees tend to feel insecure and confused about expectations.