Academic english iii

Academic english iii Class 9 April 5, 2013

Today Coherence & continuity - Understanding - Improving

Coherence For writing to be coherent, ideas are: - connected - developed around a central idea (unity) - heading towards a single goal (supporting your argument/position)

Continuity Part of coherence: - Flow/link between sentences

Coherence - Example With a partner: - Read and identify which paragraph is better. Why is one better than the other?

Coherence - Example Monticello, his home in Virginia, was Thomas Jefferson's central interest throughout his life. His interest began when he was a small boy; according to legend, he dreamed even then of building a house on the mountain where he often played. He began to make his dream a reality in 1764, when he drew up the plans. Although he had no training in architecture, he studied the drawings of Andrea Palladio and based his drawings plan on them because he admired the grace and simplicity of Palladio's drawings of Roman buildings. After he drew his plans, Jefferson supervised the actual construction of the house over a period of thirty years. He began the building before he was married but allowed it to lapse when his wife died. After living in France for several years, he resumed work and added a wing to the original plans. In 1802, the mansion was completed. From the time he began living in the house until his death in 1826, Jefferson invented many ingenious devices, including a giant clock to tell the day of the week besides telling the hour. He conceived of the idea of storm windows to keep out the cold and designed most of the furniture. Monticello was the product of a lifetime. What’s the topic/subject of discussion? What is the controlling idea? Is this controlling idea developed throughout the paragraph? What is the pattern of organization used in this paragraph? How does the author end his paragraph?

Coherence - Example Every year thousands of tourists visit Monticello, the home of Thomas Jefferson, third president of the United States. They are also fascinated by the gadgets that show Jefferson's inventive mind. He supervised every detail in the building of the house. The construction took thirty years to complete, with an interruption after the death of his wife, and was completed in 1802. Jefferson designed much of the furniture and even invented a kind of storm window to keep out the cold. The plans that Jefferson drew were based on drawings by Andrea Palladio, a sixteenth century builder who designed many Italian buildings. Jefferson admired the simplicity and grace of Palladio's drawings. He was interested in Roman culture and was a student of the classics. Some of his political philosophy was derived from his reading of the Latin authors. Monticello charms everyone who visits it. There is even a giant round clock that tells the day of the week as well as the hour. The surroundings are beautiful as the house itself. The house is located on the top of a small mountain where Jefferson played as a boy. The legend is that he dreamed even then of building a house there. Jefferson was one of the great men in our history and the first true liberal. He wrote the Declaration of Independence. Does the paragraph have a central idea? What is the pattern of organization used in this paragraph? Examine the topic in each sentence.

Coherence – Issues to watch for Body of a paragraph deviates too much from the controlling idea in the topic sentence. Switching topics or jumping suddenly to a different point. Lack of flow/continuity

Coherence – Issues to watch for When checking your work, ask: - Do sentences link to each other? - Do the ideas support the overall controlling idea of the paragraph?

Improving coherence In a group: 1. Read the two paragraphs 2. Decide which one has better coherence 3. Underline the parts that are different 4. Analyze & discuss the differences

Paragraph 1 • (1) Each of the U.S. manned space exploration projects had specific major goals. (2) Whether or not human beings could survive and function in outer space is important to study in the Mercury project. (3) Rockets with the new Mercury space capsule, which could hold one person, are tested. (4) Some scientists also launched the Gemini project to examine if two people could work in the weightless environment of space. (5) Gemini astronauts took "spacewalks." (6) They floated outside their spacecraft in a spacesuit, connected to it by a tether. (7) Gemini astronauts tried out new flying skills. (8) Some astronauts flew two spacecraft extremely close together; people called this procedure "rendezvous." (9) On some Gemini flights, astronauts physically linked two spacecraft together. (10) Linking, or "space docking," was what the astronauts often did on the Gemini program. (11) Three astronauts on the Apollo project tested spacecrafts and skills so that people could actually fly to the Moon and land on it. (12) Performing scientific experiments on the lunar surface and collecting rocks for study on Earth were also important to find out.

Paragraph 2 (1) Each of the U.S. manned space exploration projects had specific major goals. (2) For example, the Mercury project was designed to test whether or not human beings could survive and function in outer space. (3) In addition, the Mercury project tested rockets with the new Mercury space capsule, which could hold one person. (4) As another example, the Gemini project was intended to find out whether two people could work in the weightless environment of space. (5) One way of doing this was by having Gemini astronauts take "spacewalks." (6) That is, they floated outside their spacecraft in a spacesuit, connected to it by a tether. (7) Gemini astronauts also tried out new flying skills. (8) For example, some astronauts flew two spacecraft extremely close together; this procedure was called "rendezvous." (9) On some Gemini flights, astronauts physically linked two spacecraft together. (10) This linking, or "space docking," was a major goal of the Gemini program. (11) Finally, the Apollo project, with three astronauts, had the goal of testing spacecraft and skills so that people could actually fly to the Moon and land on it. (12) Other goals included performing scientific experiments on the lunar surface and collecting rocks for study on Earth.

Paragraph analysis 1 2 (1) Each of the U.S. manned space exploration projects had specific major goals. (2) Whether or not human beings could survive and function in outer space is important to study in the Mercury project. (3) Rockets with the new Mercury space capsule, which could hold one person, are tested. (1) Each of the U.S. manned space exploration projects had specific major goals. (2) For example, the Mercury project was designed to test whether or not human beings could survive and function in outer space. (3) In addition, the Mercury project tested rockets with the new Mercury space capsule, which could hold one person.

Paragraph analysis (4) Some scientists also launched the Gemini project to examine if two people could work in the weightless environment of space. (5) Gemini astronauts took "spacewalks." (6) They floated outside their spacecraft in a spacesuit, connected to it by a tether. (7) Gemini astronauts tried out new flying skills. (8) Some astronauts flew two spacecraft extremely close together; people called this procedure "rendezvous." (9) On some Gemini flights, astronauts physically linked two spacecraft together. (10) Linking, or "space docking," was what the astronauts often did on the Gemini program. (4) As another example, the Gemini project was intended to find out whether two people could work in the weightless environment of space. (5) One way of doing this was by having Gemini astronauts take "spacewalks." (6) That is, they floated outside their spacecraft in a spacesuit, connected to it by a tether. (7) Gemini astronauts also tried out new flying skills. (8) For example, some astronauts flew two spacecraft extremely close together; this procedure was called "rendezvous." (9) On some Gemini flights, astronauts physically linked two spacecraft together. (10) This linking, or "space docking," was a major goal of the Gemini program.

Paragraph analysis (11) Finally, the Apollo project, with three astronauts, had the goal of testing spacecraft and skills so that people could actually fly to the Moon and land on it. (12) Other goals of the project included performing scientific experiments on the lunar surface and collecting rocks for study on Earth. (11) Three astronauts on the Apollo project tested spacecrafts and skills so that people could actually fly to the Moon and land on it. (12) Performing scientific experiments on the lunar surface and collecting rocks for study on Earth were also important to find out.

Strategies to develop coherence 1: Repeating/rephrasing key words e.g. project, goal, test,

Strategies to develop coherence 2. Placing known information before new information e.g. mention project first before introducing the specific goals of a project

Strategies to develop coherence 3. use transitions/logical connectors (e.g. effective use of Pronoun references) e.g.) Transitions: for example, in addition, as another example, finally Pronoun references: that is, this procedure, this linking

Strategies to develop coherence 4. Use Parallel structures e.g. The Mercury project was designed to… The Gemini project was intended to… The Apollo project had the goal of…

Coherence – Another Example (1) It is commonly recognized that dogs have an extreme antagonism toward cats. (2) This enmity between these two species can be traced back to the time of the early Egyptian dynasties. (3) Archaeologists in recent years have discovered Egyptian texts in which there are detailed accounts of canines brutally mauling felines. (4) Today this type of cruelty between these two domestic pets can be witnessed in regions as close as your own neighborhood. (5) For example, when dogs are walked by their masters, and they happen to catch sight of a stray cat, they will pull with all their strength on their leash until the master is forced to yield; the typical result is that a feline is chased up a tree. (6)The hatred between dogs and cats has lasted for so many centuries; it is unlikely that this conflict will ever end.

Coherence – Another Example • (1) It is commonly recognized that dogs have an extreme antagonism toward cats. (2) This enmity between these two species can be traced back to the time of the early Egyptian dynasties. (3) Archaeologists in recent years have discovered Egyptian texts in which there are detailed accounts of canines brutally mauling felines. (4) Today this type of cruelty between these two domestic pets can be witnessed in regions as close as your own neighborhood. (5) For example, when dogs are walked by their masters, and they happen to catch sight of a stray cat, they will pull with all their strength on their leash until the master is forced to yield; the typical result is that a feline is chased up a tree. (6)The hatred between dogs and cats has lasted for so many centuries; it is unlikely that this conflict will ever end.

Example- Comments 1. All the sentences effectively relate back to the topic sentence. 2. All of the sentences have something to do with dogs not liking cats. 3. There is a flow of thoughts and ideas among the sentences. 4. There are good transitions employed in the paragraph.

Example- Comments 5. The writer also presents her idea in an orderly fashion that the reader can follow easily. 6. The paragraph is developed. The writer gives herself enough space to develop the topic. 7. She gives us at least two reasons to defend her argument. 8. She incorporates examples in order to give those reasons more validity.

Paper 1 Deadline for Paper 1 2nd draft has been pushed back to Sunday April. 7 (by 8:00 p.m.) Follow submission instructions on the information paper.

Academic english iii