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Join us for a workshop on positive communication and real-life conflict resolution strategies. Learn about the STARR model, stress management techniques, active listening skills, and more. Improve your communication and defuse conflicts effectively.
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Positive Communication:Real Strategies For Real Life Presented by: MCPS Employee Assistance Program 240-314-1040
Outcomes • Learn the STARR model for defusing conflict • Review the physiological impact of stress • Practice effective listening and speaking skills • Experience stress management techniques
Small Group Exercise • How was conflict handled in your family? • How was conflict defused?
STARRPower • STOP and breathe • THINK through your options • ACT with positive communication • RESPECT yourself and the other person • REWARD take care of yourself
Stop Take a Deep Breath
Think Before You Act • Are you ready to listen ? • Are you labeling the person ? • How would you feel if you were in the other person’s shoes ?
Act with Positive Communication Active Listening Skills combine listening and talking skills so that the other person feels understood
LISTEN SILENT
Pop Quiz • Most of us are distracted about _____% of the time we think we are listening. • Right after we listen to someone, we recall about ______% of what he or she has said. • Long-term we recall ____% of what we hear. • _____ % of our communication is conveyed non-verbally. • *International Listening Association
Answers • Most of us are distracted about _75% of the time we think we are listening. • Right after we listen to someone, we recall about _50% of what he or she has said. • Long-term, we recall 20% of what we hear. • 70% of our communication is conveyed non-verbally • *International Listening Association
Active Listening Skills • Body Language • Door Openers • Paraphrasing • Reflecting • Summarizing
How do you start the conversation ? You know, the conversations you worry about and put off?
Why did you . . .? You always or never . . . Yeah, but you . . . It’s your fault! How come you. . .? You made me angry I hear . . . I feel . . . I assume . . . I want . . . I need . . . I don’t understand Do you mean . . .? “You” Messages vs “I” Messages
Use “I” Messages I feel or think ___________________ when __________________________ because _________________________. I get frustrated when plans are made without checking with me first because I feel like you don’t care.
“You” Statements 1. Why did you cut me off in the meeting? 2. It isn’t my fault that you don’t have all of the necessary documents with you. 3. You complain about every little thing I do and never seem satisfied with my work. 4. You make me so mad because you never do anything around the house to help me.
Red Flag • Why, but • Problem, • You have to • You should have done X earlier, • Unfortunately, there is really nothing I can do • What they told you was incorrect
The Top Ten Things to Say to Make an Angry Person Angrier • Calm down. • That's not my problem. • You're too sensitive. • Just shut up for a minute. • You’ve got to be kidding! • I just have to think of myself right now. • Don’t you think you’re overreacting? • You’re making a big deal out of nothing. • That’s what YOU think! • Like YOU’RE perfect!
Stick to the Facts • Focus on the issue • Be specific about what you have observed • Describe behaviors, not personal characteristics
Green Flag • “Is this a good time for you?” • What, how • Let’s, we • I am sorry you’re upset”/ I apologize • Let me find someone who can help you • Thank you for your opinion. I’ll think about it”
Respect Respect Yourself and the Other Person
Reward! Yourself . . .
Biodot Color Key More Relaxed Less Relaxed
MCPS EAP • Assessment, short term counseling, and referral • Confidentiality/records • Other services: workshops, crisis response • Access point for mediation
Alternative Dispute Resolution • Mediation as an option • CRCMC • MCPS Dispute Resolution Program
Thanks for coming!For more information about the EAP, contact us at 240-314-1040or visit our website atwww.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/departments/eap