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Inorganic Drunkenness: The Meyer-Petersen Inebriation Effect

Inorganic Drunkenness: The Meyer-Petersen Inebriation Effect. Melissa Meyer, UW EE Andrew Petersen, UW CSE. Basic Concept. Alcoholic Beverages are to Organic Drunkenness as Sleep Deprivation is to Inorganic Drunkenness. PROOF of concept (by large font). Additional correlations:.

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Inorganic Drunkenness: The Meyer-Petersen Inebriation Effect

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  1. Inorganic Drunkenness: The Meyer-Petersen Inebriation Effect Melissa Meyer, UW EE Andrew Petersen, UW CSE

  2. Basic Concept Alcoholic Beverages are to Organic Drunkenness as Sleep Deprivation is to Inorganic Drunkenness

  3. PROOFof concept(by large font). Additional correlations: When they’re sleep deprived, • People participate in activities they wouldn’t normally (such as karaoke) • They make more mi • They shouldn’t drive! • And, People HAVE FUN when they’re sleep deprived.

  4. Inorganic Drunkenness also brings out the creativity in some….

  5. …. And represses inhibitions in others, as Organic intoxicants do.

  6. Quantitative Analysis • Every waking hour past eighteen (18) is equivalent to consuming one (1) can of beer, one glass of wine, or one shot of hard liquor. • This effect is cumulative. • After 24 waking hours, the number of effective drinks is squared. • “Virtual drinks” affect an individual socially, mentally, and physically as alcohol does, but since there is no poisonous substance ingested, inorganically intoxicated individuals can become much more drunk.

  7. Additional Observation • The Inorganic Drunkenness Effect seems to primarily affect EE and CS students.

  8. An Example: A hypothetical person named Amol (and he’s one sexy dude! Everybody knows that sex appeal enhances your ability to get drunk.) has been awake for 30 hours. In addition, he’s been doing programming work during these hours. Total theoretical drinks consumed: 97 !!

  9. Conclusions • “Dry campuses” (such as the undergraduate institution of the authors) have been proven theoretically impossible. • Cheers!!

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