Journey Class – May 2011 – 9:15am

1. Journey Class – May 2011 – 9:15am Week 1: Balance- What is the state of your marriage? Signs of a healthy marriage- Working towards a future together Week 2: Aerobics- Doing the hard work of fighting… and staying married Week 3: Strength- Increasing the bond and connection with each other- Keys to making a marriage last Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Week 5: Review- Talking about it – again- and talking again… and, then some

2. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together An open-ended survey question asked churchgoers to describe how their church defined a “healthy, spiritually mature follower of Jesus.” • Half said they were not sure- unable to identify their church defines • 16% = having a relationship with Jesus • 9% = practices of Bible study and prayer • 8% = living according to the Bible • 8% = being obedient • 7% = being involved in church • 6% = having concern for others • 81% of self-identified Christian said believed Spiritual Maturity = “trying hard to follow the rules described in the Bible” (53% strongly agreed)

3. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together Growth Required • Faith: "Your faith is greatly enlarged" (2 Thes. 1:3). "As your faith grows" (2 Cor. 10:15) • Love for other Christians: "As to the love of the brethren... excel still more" (1 Thes. 4:9-10).  "The love of each one of you toward one another grows ever greater" (2 Thes. 1:3) • Love for all people: "Increase and abound in love for one another, and for all men" (1 Thes. 3:12) • Knowledge of God: "Increasing in the knowledge of God" (Col. 1:10) • Christ-likeness: "Grow up in all aspects into Him" (Eph. 4:15). "Christ is formed in you" (Gal. 4:19) • Knowledge and Discernment: "Your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment" (Phil. 1:9) • Obedience: "You ought to walk and please God... excel still more“ (1 Thes. 4:1) • Salvation: "Grow in respect to salvation" (1 Pet. 2:2) • Grace: "Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ" (2 Peter 3:17-18)

4. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage So, What Do You Think Spiritual Maturity Is? Spiritual Growth… Together

5. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • It’s a Mystery… Unclear… • It’s a Spiritual World We Lack Awareness Of • It’s Growth is Hard to Measure • It’s a Part of Who We Are- yet… • we ignore our spiritual life- or fail to feed it

6. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Road Blocks Prevent Our Grow Together…Deal With Roadblocks Spiritual Growth… Together • Busyness • Lack of Forgiveness • Low–Level Anger • Lack of Respect • Others? Grow Up…

7. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • 2. It’s A Process… that takes time… • continual (like our marriages) • we are called to activelywork on it- not passive (like our marriages) • healthy Christians feed themselves

8. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together Accomplishing Spiritual Growth • Walk with a purpose in view • Step by step • Grow up… growing together begins with growing up yourself

9. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together Ingredients of Growth • Grace • Truth • environments of safety • (Be “Jesus Safe”) • hearing truth about God, me, & you… Speaking Truth In Love

10. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together Ingredients of Growth • Time • time to experience, repeat learning, & internal change (How We Learn) • 10% of what we READ • 20% of what we HEAR • 30% of what we SEE • 50% of what we SEE and HEAR • 70% of what is DISCUSSED with OTHERS • 80% of what is EXPERIENCED PERSONALLY • 95% of what we TEACH TO SOMEONE ELSE Growth is much more than cognitively understanding or memorizing a fact, idea, or principle… adding experience to intellect takes time

11. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • 3. It’s Different for Each of Us… • different levels of maturity

12. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together Different Levels of Maturity- Stages of Faith • STAGE 1: Young children follow the beliefs of their parents. • STAGE 2: Children tend to respond to religious stories and rituals literally, rather than symbolically- As individuals move through adolescence to young adulthood, their beliefs continue to be based on authority focused outside themselves. • STAGE 3:Individuals tend to have conformist acceptance of a belief with little self-reflection on examination of these beliefs. Most people remain at this level. • STAGE 4:Begin a radical shift from dependence on others’ spiritual beliefs to development of their own. Individuals are no longer defined by the groups to which they belong. Instead, they choose beliefs, values, and relationships important to their self-fulfillment. • STAGE 5: Persons still rely on their own views but move from self preoccupation or from dependence on fixed truths to acceptance of others’ points of view they- tend to be more tolerant and begin to consider serving others. • STAGE 6:People Reaching this stage are rare. As older adults, they begin to search for universal values, such as unconditional love and justice. Self-preservation becomes irrelevant.

13. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • 3. It’s Different for Each of Us… • different levels of maturity • different interests

14. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together Different Interests- How Do You Feel Connected with God? NATURALIST- loving God out of door SENSATE- loving God with sense TRADITIONALIST- ritual and symbolism ASCETIC- solitude and simplicity ACTIVIST- through confrontation- standing up for justice CARGIVER- loving others ENTHUSIAST- mystery, celebration- worship, excitement COMTEMPLATIVE- adoration: emotions, presence, friendship with God INTELLECTUAL- with the mind

15. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • 3. It’s Different for Each of Us… • different levels of maturity • different interests • different learning styles

16. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • 3. It’s Different for Each of Us… • different learning styles • Visual Learners

17. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • 3. It’s Different for Each of Us… • different learning stylesAuditory Learners

18. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • 3. It’s Different forEach of Us… • different learning styles • Kinesthetic/Tactile Learners

19. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • 4. It’s (can be)Different Than Mom & Dad’s Way…This Ain’t Your Daddy’s World… or Church!

20. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together

21. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together

22. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together

23. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together

24. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together

25. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together

26. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together

27. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • 5. It’s Different Over Time… • it changes • it should change

28. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • Less than 8% of Christian couples pray together on a regular basis… Why? • Of Christian couples who pray together, the divorce rate is less than 1% • Prayer • What Does Prayer Do For A Couple? • unite spiritually before God – Matthew 18:18-20/John 17:20-26 • encourages humility & honesty- Luke 18:10-14 • develops & deepens communication • builds marriage up because we are being built up

29. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Make A Plan to Grow Together Spiritual Growth… Together • Pray Together The Swiss psychiatrist Dr. Paul Tournier wrote, It is only when a husband and wife pray together before God that they find the secret of true harmony: that the difference in their temperaments, their ideas, and their tastes enriches their home instead of endangering it. When each of the marriage partners seeks quietly before God to see his own faults, recognizes his sin, and asks for the forgiveness of the other, marital problems are no more. They learn to become absolutely honest with each other. This is the price to be paid if partners very different from each other are to combine their gifts instead of setting them against each other. • Develop a Regular Spiritual Growth Time Together

30. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • Prayer … Start There • Find Mutually Agreeable Time • Keep Prayer Time Short • Keep Your Turn Short • Keep Your Prayer Personal • Pray For Your Marriage

31. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • 6. It Can Start With Just 1 Thing… It Requires My Effort… • Pick One Thing… Start there

32. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • 6. It Can Start With Just 1 Thing… Pick One • read the Bible together • listen to mp3 sermons • watch a DVD • read a book- together • listen to a book • play Bible reading in car • play Bible trivia games • memorize verses • listen to music • join small group • go on a retreat • journal • walk • serve together • talk about God • worship Together Regularly • time With Other Couples

33. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • Growing Towards Spiritual Intimacy • Questions for Me • 1. Which of the following blocks to spiritual intimacy affect your life the most? • busyness • low-level anger • lack of forgiveness • lack of respect • other_________________________ • 2. What can I personally do to bring more spiritual intimacy to our relationship? • Questions for Us • 1. Share with each other your answer to question #1 from Questions for Me. • 2. Complete this sentence: If I could receive more spiritual intimacy from you it would be in the area of ________________________.

34. Week 4: Stretching- Growing (up) together- God in the middle of me- God in the middle of my marriage Spiritual Growth… Together • Heart-to-Heart Home Work • Our Spiritual Growth Plan • Create together a simple plan to enhance your spiritual relationship as a couple. Remember to keep it short and simple so you don’t get too overwhelmed. Put down on paper things like: • Pray daily. • Worship together weekly. • Join a couples group. • Participate in a marriage or spiritual retreat. • Develop a regular spiritual growth time together. • Our Weekly Time • Devotional time of the week (If you need an idea for this week, try reading through Ephesians 5:22–33.) • Greatest joy of the week • Greatest struggle of the week • An affirmation • A wish or a hope • Physical goals • Prayer • Book of the month • Excerpted from Creating an Intimate Marriage by Jim Burns.