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Four Horseman in a Relationship

Four horsemen are negative interactive styles between couples impacting their relationship. These styles tell us about the probability of divorce according to the research by Dr. John Gottman.<br><br>By identifying these Four Horsemen in your arguments or conflicts, you can also find the antidotes to eliminate them. But when you see more negative in your relationship than positives, its time to reflect or seek counselling for relationship that can help you in finding and improving your communication style with your partner.

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Four Horseman in a Relationship

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  1. BetterLYF.com FourHorseman inaRelationship

  2. Fourhorsemenarenegativeinteractivestylesbetween couplesimpactingtheirrelationship. Thesestylestellus abouttheprobabilityofdivorceaccordingtothe researchbyDr. JohnGottman. ByidentifyingtheseFourHorsemeninyourargumentsor conflicts, youcanalsofindtheantidotestoeliminate them.

  3. 1. Criticism Usingstatementsthatattacka person'sentirepersonalitysuchas “younever” or “youalways” or statementsincluding “always” and “never” HowtoManage -Itisreally importanthowwecriticizeinour relationshipsbymaintaining respectandalsocommunicating ourfeelingsandexpectations.

  4. 2. Contempt Treatingtheotheronewithdisrespect, mocking withsarcasm, ridicule, callingnames, mimicking orusingbodylanguagessuchaseye-rollingor scoffing. HowtoManage - Torepairthedamagedone fromcontempt, onehastoveryconsciouslyand activelytryandcultivateacultureof appreciationandrespectintherelationship.

  5. 3. Defensiveness Typicallyaresponsetocriticism, when wefeelunjustlyaccused. Welookfor excusesandplayvictimsothatour partnerwillbackoff. TakeResponsibility. Respectyour partner'sperspective. Acknowledge whereyouwentwrongandrespectthe feedbackyougetfromyourpartner..

  6. 4. Stonewalling Usuallyaresponsetocontempt, Stonewalling occurswhenonepartnerwithdrawsfromthe interaction, shutsdown, andsimplystops respondingtotheotherpartner. Youmightbehurt, soit'salrighttotakeyourtime offandgetyourselfbackonpace. Whenyoufeel calm, thenspeaktoyourpartner.

  7. Whenyouseemorenegativeinyourrelationshipthanpositives, itstimeto reflectorseekcounsellingforrelationshipthatcanhelpyouinfinding andimprovingyourcommunicationstylewithyourpartner. Reachout www.betterlyf.com OnlineCounselling (Audio, Video, chat)

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