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WELCOME PARENTS! Loving Solutions for Tough Kids. AKA Parent Project® Jr. 1a. 1b. Specifically designed for parents raising difficult children - ages 5 - 10. Created to …. Reduce family conflict Help children develop greater self discipline

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specifically designed for parents raising difficult children ages 5 10
Specifically designed for parents raising difficult children - ages 5 - 10
  • Created to ….
    • Reduce family conflict
    • Help children develop greater self discipline
    • Improve the enjoyment of parenting and family life
    • Help our children grow up safe, strong & capable

Parent Project, Jr.

2

loving solutions course overview
Loving Solutions - Course Overview
  • Week 1 topics:
    • Importance of Love and Affection
    • Parenting Model for the strong-willed child
    • Understanding our children
    • Influencing & Motivating difficult children
    • Using Time Outs correctly and effectively

Parent Project, Jr.

3a

loving solutions
Loving Solutions

Week 2 topics:

  • Sharing our Expectations, Standards & Values with our children
  • Identifying Critical Rules for our kids
  • Involving our children in the process
  • Using Set Time Outs

Parent Project, Jr.

3b

loving solutions6
Loving Solutions

Week 3 topics:

  • Responding to our children’s choices
  • Encouraging positive choices
  • Redirecting negative choices
  • Dealing w/ Emotional Outbursts

Parent Project, Jr.

3c

loving solutions7
Loving Solutions

Week 4 topics:

  • Active Supervision
  • Creating Structure for our children
  • Improving School Performance

Parent Project, Jr.

4a

loving solutions8
Loving Solutions

Week 5 topics:

  • Concrete Solutions for tough kids
  • Highly impulsive/ special needs children
  • Out-of-Control Behaviors
  • Developing Personal Action Plans for behavior plans

Parent Project, Jr.

4b

loving solutions9
Loving Solutions

Week 6 topics:

  • Recognizing and Supporting Success
  • The dynamics of change
  • Problem solving
  • Building a Strong Sense of Family
  • Finding Support for our selves

Parent Project, Jr.

4c

loving solutions10
Loving Solutions

Week 7 topics:

  • Diagnosis & treatment of ADD/ADHD
  • Working w/ your insurance & doctors
  • Tips for helping ADD/ADHD kids

Parent Project, Jr.

4d

unit 1 objectives
Unit 1 Objectives

Parents will be able to:

  • List character traits of a strong-willed child
  • Recognize successful ways to demonstrate love & affection
  • Discuss influence vs. control
  • Describe effective parenting strategies to increase cooperation & other positive behaviors

Parent Project, Jr.

5

before we begin unit 1
Before We Begin Unit 1:

1. What is your partner’s name?

2. What are the names & ages of your partner’s children?

3. What parental concerns or issues is your partner facing right now?

4. What does your partner hope to learn from this class?

After getting your partner’s permission, introduce your new friend to the large group using the above information

Parent Project, Jr.

6

strong willed vs complaint children
Argumentative

Frustrating

Persistent

Traditional parenting generally ineffective

Cooperative

Pleasant

Eager to please

Traditional parenting usually effective

Strong Willed vs.Complaint Children

Parent Project, Jr.

7

activity 1 1 personality
Calm

Easy Going

Willing to listen

Understanding

Compliant

6. Emotional

7. Strong-willed

8. Argumentative

9. Stubborn

10. Challenging

Activity 1.1: Personality

Parent Project, Jr.

8

what works
What Works?

The keys to parenting tough kids:

  • Love & Affection
  • Positive Strokes
  • Positive Consequences
  • Time Outs
  • Teaching New Tools

Parent Project, Jr.

9

love affection
Love & Affection

Our MOST effective parenting tool & the key to:

  • Improved Communication
  • Effective Discipline
  • Positive Self-Esteem
  • Changing destructive & difficult behaviors

Parent Project, Jr.

10

working in groups
Working in Groups

Group Facilitator

Group Recorder

Group Time Keeper

Group Cheerleaders/ Nurturers

Parent Project, Jr.

11

group activity 1 2 roles
Group Activity 1.2: Roles

Group Facilitator:

Group Recorder:

Group Time Keeper:

Group Cheerleaders/ Nurturers:

Each member now takes a minute to explain their assigned job description to their group

Parent Project, Jr.

12

ground rules
Ground Rules
  • Active Listening: Only 1 group member speaks at a time. Give your complete & undivided attention. Groups STOP individual conversations when large group activities begin.
  • Confidentiality: Confidentiality means, What is heard in the group, remains in the group.
  • Avoid Being Judgmental: Groups are not a place for judgment, criticism or confrontation.
  • Quantity vs. Quality: The more ideas the better. There are no right or wrong answers in brainstorming activities.
  • OK to Piggy Back: When a member can add to another member’s idea, they should do so.
  • Group Ownership: Once an idea or thought has been spoken aloud, it belongs to the group.

Parent Project, Jr.

13

group activity 1 3 showing love
Group Activity 1.3Showing Love
  • Saying, “I Love You”
  • Cooking for your children
  • Spending time w/ your children
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?

Parent Project, Jr.

14

group activity 1 4 most effective
Group Activity 1.4Most Effective

3 parental expressions of love that a child could not mistake as anything other than - Mom & Dad love me.

  • ?
  • ?
  • ?

Parent Project, Jr.

15

group activity 1 5 children
Group Activity 1.5: Children
  • Children…
  • Children…
  • Children…
  • Children…
  • Children respond…

Parent Project, Jr.

16

we don t control our kids

We don’t control our kids!

But, we do have tremendousinfluence on them.

18

influencing motivating children
Influencing & Motivating Children
  • Daily Love & Affection
  • Positive Strokes
  • Positive Consequences
  • Time Outs
  • Teaching Tools

Parent Project, Jr.

19

positive strokes catching kids doing right
Positive Strokes: Catching kids doing right!

Acknowledge and reinforce your child’s positive actions w/ a compliment - it shows you noticed and approve.

Parent Project, Jr.

20

group activity 1 7 doing right
Group Activity 1.7Doing Right!
  • Taking out the trash with or without being asked
  • Helping a younger brother or sister
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?

Parent Project, Jr.

21

positive consequences

Positive Consequences…

Kids get to do what they like to do, AFTER they have followed a parent’s request.

22

everyday life example
Everyday Life Example

Employee receives a paycheck at the end of the work week.

Parent Project, Jr.

23

group activity 1 8 fun follows work
Group Activity 1.8Fun Follows Work!
  • Sure! You may use the phone, just as soon as you finish drying the dishes.
  • Sure! You may go to your friend’s house, just as soon as your room is clean.
  • Sure! You may______________, just as soon as ____________________.
  • Sure! You may______________, just as soon as ____________________.
  • Sure! You may______________, just as soon as ____________________.

Parent Project, Jr.

24

time out
Time Out
  • Involves the loss of access to fun things and social interaction w/ others.
  • Becomes an empty, boring and undesirable experience
  • May follow a negative behavior; also may be used to encourage a positive behavior
  • Lasts only a very short time - short Time Outs help maintain a child’s hope & motivation.

Parent Project, Jr.

25

group activity 1 9 negative choices
Group Activity 1.9Negative Choices
  • Hitting
  • Breaking a toy on purpose
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?

Parent Project, Jr.

26

teaching tools
Teaching Tools

Taking time to teach kids a better way

Everyday Life Example:

Your supervisor shows you how

to safely use a new machine

Parent Project, Jr.

27

group activity 1 10 teaching tools
Group Activity 1.10Teaching Tools
  • Hitting
  • Purposefully breaking a toy
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?

Parent Project, Jr.

28

designing effective time outs
Designing EffectiveTime Outs

Appropriate? Does the behavior deserve a Time Out? - willful or just a mistake.

Brief? Will it last just a short time? - consequences must fit the way kids think.

Consistent? Am I willing to follow through every time and for the entire time period?

Design? What’s the whole picture? - what happens, where and how?

Educate? Did we take the time to plan & teach a better way?

Parent Project, Jr.

29

group activity 1 11 child s list
?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

Group Activity 1.11Child’s List

THIS is “Our Child’s List”

Parent Project, Jr.

30

t e a s p o t

T.E.A.S.P.O.T.

Take everythingaway,

for a shortperiod of time.

31

choosing the spot
Choosing the Spot?

Parent Project, Jr.

32

slide39

Using Self-Limiting Time Outs to encourage (AKA motivate) our children to do important yet “unfun” activities…

33

group activity 1 12 unfun tasks
Group Activity 1.12“Unfun” Tasks
  • Child needs to complete homework
  • Child needs to pick up toys
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?

Parent Project, Jr.

34

self limiting time outs
Used to encourage positive behaviors

No use of a timer

Time Out Area is a boring place

Length of Time Out is determined by the child

Child does not leave Time Out Area except to do requested task

Child leaves when ready to do the requested task

Child “takes as much time” as he needs

Self-Limiting Time Outs

Parent Project, Jr.

35

group activity 1 13 abc s
Group Activity 1.13: ABC’s

Appropriate?

Brief?

Consistent?

Design? (what, when, where & how)

Educate? (plan & teach a better way)

Parent Project, Jr.

36

review activity 1 14
Review Activity 1.14
  • If parents have a strong-willed child, traditional parenting techniques may not _________.
  • Parents must tell their children how much they are loved every _______.
  • Although parents cannot control their children, parents can control the _______ their children enjoy.
  • Parents should give their child Positive ______when they catch their child doing something right.
  • _______ term Time Outs are more effective than long-term Time Outs because they fit the way children think.
  • When children refuse to do a requested task, parents should use a ______ ________ Time Out.

Parent Project, Jr.

37

most powerful idea i learned in unit 1
?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

Most Powerful Idea I Learned in Unit 1:

Parent Project, Jr.

38

home practice
Home Practice
  • Tell your child how much they are loved every day this week.
  • Catch your child doing something right, and give him/her a “Positive Stroke.”
  • If you find it necessary to use a “Self-Limiting Time Out,” follow the guidelines in this unit. Remember the ABC’s of Time Outs: Appropriate, Brief, Consistent, Design, and Educate a better way.

Make sure you bring back your success stories to share with your support group next week.

Parent Project, Jr.

39

next week
Next Week …

Ideals, Rules and Tools

Learn how to communicate your expectations, standards, and values to your children

Parent Project, Jr.

40

words of wisdom
Words of Wisdom

I wish I would have held you closer, hugged and kissed you more when you were little.

Parent Author Unknown

PARENTS, now’s the time!

Parent Project, Jr.

41

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