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Let’s talk about relationships

Let’s talk about relationships. Alie Kriofske Mainella Youth Leadership Specialist Independence First. Welcome!!!. Today we’ll talk about: Boundaries and personal space Healthy relationships Safe and healthy dating Abuse prevention. M & M Game.

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Let’s talk about relationships

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  1. Let’s talk about relationships Alie Kriofske Mainella Youth Leadership Specialist IndependenceFirst

  2. Welcome!!! • Today we’ll talk about: • Boundaries and personal space • Healthy relationships • Safe and healthy dating • Abuse prevention

  3. M & M Game • Red- What qualities are you looking for in a partner or friend? • Orange-What is an ideal date? • Yellow-What do you like to do when you are alone? • Green-What is your favorite book or movie? • Blue-What is a family tradition you have? • Brown-Talk about your best friend

  4. Boundaries • Distance • How far apart we stand from people we interact with • ROPE GAME • Personal boundaries • Boundaries and self-esteem • Blurry boundaries, rigid boundaries and HEALTHY boundaries

  5. Healthy Relationships • Agree/Disagree game

  6. Ingredients of a healthy relationship • There is mutual interest • You have things in common • You have gotten to know each other slowly over time • Boundaries are respected • There is shared power in the relationship

  7. Healthy Relationship • You feel respected • You are treated and spoken to like an adult (or your age) • You and your friend are caring and gentle with each other • You feel valuable • You can say NO • You can be yourself • You can change your mind

  8. Unhealthy relationship • You are put down • They tell you how to act, dress, talk etc.. • They hurt you on purpose (physically or emotionally) • They get mad when you spend time with others • They push you to do things you don’t want to do • There is a lot of anger, fear or jealousy

  9. What can you do? • If you are in an unhealthy relationship, what can you do? • Talk to a trusted adult/friend/parent • If you feel threatened or unsafe, call police • Stay away from the person • Break up with the person • TRUST YOUR FEELINGS

  10. Say NO to abuse • Cycle of abuse • What is harassment • What is assault • What is sexual harassment and sexual assault • What about bullying?

  11. Dating!!! • So what happens when you Get interested in someone as more than a friend? Who has ever had a crush on someone? What to do?!!!

  12. Steps of moving to “more than friends” • Feeling interested • Getting to know someone, letting them know how you feel • Flirting • Talking on the phone • Join you in a group activity • Ask them out on a date • What if they are not interested back? • What if they ARE?

  13. More on “More” • Flirting • Say nice things • Use body language • Talking on the phone/computer • Asking respectful questions • Phone and computer boundaries • Join you on a group activity • A group or meeting or a dance • Ask them out on a date

  14. Becoming a couple • Things to talk about • Are you dating only each other • What are your and your partner’s boundaries, decisions about sex, etc. • How will you spend time together? • Spending time apart • Communication • And sometimes…..breaking up.

  15. Problem Solving in relationships • Relax • Say something positive • Identify the problem or situation • What are your choices? • Come up with the consequence of each choice • Who and what’s important to you • Make a decision

  16. Conflict in relationships • DOs • Calm down before talking • Pay attention • Use I statements • Keep calm tone of voice • Listen • Avoid blaming • Stick to the issue • DON’Ts • Don’t talk when you’re really mad • Don’t blame • Don’t bring up old fights • Don’t use words like “always” or “never” • Don’t wait until you blow up • Do not hit

  17. Speaking up for yourself • When you _______________ (say what is going on or what you feel they did) • I feel __________________ (say how you feel, respectfully) • Because _____________ (say what you need to happen)

  18. Finally: Your relationship with YOU • Your relationship with yourself is the most important one • Good self-esteem is the key to all healthy relationships • Positive self-talk is very helpful • Know that if you feel whole and complete on your own, your relationships with others will be stronger

  19. Come the Dawn

  20. Questions?

  21. Thank you!!! Alie Kriofske Mainella Youth Leadership Specialist IndependenceFirst akriofske@independencefirst.org 414-226-8112

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