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R ed R iding H ood & the B ig B ad W olf

R ed R iding H ood & the B ig B ad W olf. O nce u pon a time, there was a girl named Red Riding Hood who lived in an enchanted castle where she worked on her dissertation. One day, Grandlady called and lamented, “Child of mine, I’m out of rum.”.

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R ed R iding H ood & the B ig B ad W olf

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  1. RedRidingHood& theBig Bad Wolf

  2. Once upon a time, there was a girl named Red Riding Hood who lived in an enchanted castle where she worked on her dissertation.

  3. One day, Grandlady called and lamented, “Child of mine, I’m out of rum.”

  4. Red Riding Hood exclaimed, “Egad! Tarry until your liquid treasure arrives. I shall hasten and be there presently.”

  5. On her journey, she happened upon a big, bad wolf with grizzly, gray hair, nasty claws, and fetid breath.

  6. Well, aren’t thou a sight,” noted Red. “Well, aren’t THOU a sight!” remonstrated the wolf.

  7. Prithee, wolf, art thou planning on devouring me?” shuddered Red.

  8. “Gadzooks, nay,” retorted Wolfy, “I am on my way to Grandlady’s to huff and puff and blow her house in!”

  9. “Art thou daft?” laughed Red. “You are in the wrong fairy tale!”

  10. Sheepishly, Wolfy skulked away only to turn and query, “Well then, what have you in your basket?”

  11. “I have liquid treasure for Grandlady to sooth her aching bones,” Red said with a smile.

  12. “Ah, is it Jack?” Wolfy asked longingly. “Nay, it is the liquid gold of Sailor Jerry,” rejoined Red.

  13. Wolfy howled, “Rum?! Then take that foul swill to her and I shall go to the Johnson’s for Hallowe’en’s proper drink!”

  14. “Splendid idea,” said Red. “I shall fetch Grandlady and we shall all attend.”

  15. And they all lived happily ever after.

  16. The moral of the story is all who accept this invitation shall also live happily ever after.

  17. Invitation When: Saturday, Oct. 31 at 8pm Where: The Johnson’s at 135 Greenbriar Rd. Bring: Scary snacks and the libation of your choice Wear: A costume, of course!

  18. The End

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