Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

1. Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships www.jessicayaffa.org

2. As humans, we need healthy relationships to thrive. Whether introvert or extrovert, the quality of your interpersonal connections is directly linked to your well- being and happiness. So… how can you go about creating healthy relationships? At the Jessica Yaffa Coaching Institute, we believe that setting healthy boundaries in relationships is a great place to start.

3. How to Set Boundaries in Relationships Identify your relationship goals Ask yourself what you want and don’t want out of the relationship before you begin setting boundaries. Your wants may differ from your partner’s, friend’s, or family’s, so it’s important to understand your desires as a foundation for boundary setting. We offer the opportunity to dive into your relationship goals early through our healthy relationship workshops for youth. Join us today or refer the young adults in your life.

4. Be aware of your feelings The first step to setting boundaries within a relationship is to recognize and identify your feelings. Some questions that you might ask yourself include: How do I feel when relating to this other person? Do I feel that my privacy is often invaded? Am I asked to show up in this relationship in ways that make me feel uncomfortable? Do I have a general feeling of unease in this relationship? If a relationship brings more feelings of negativity than positivity, we recommend reassessing and adjusting boundaries to foster healthy boundaries in relationships.

5. Identify what you’re willing to accept Your boundaries will likely vary based on the type of relationship. For example, what you’re willing to accept from a family member may be different from what you’re willing to accept from a romantic partner. In any relationship, communicating your boundaries and being clear on areas in which you are willing to compromise and areas in which you are not key. A crucial boundary in any relationship is one that protects you from any type of physical harm. These boundaries should always be nonnegotiable, and we are here to support you if you’re experiencing any form relationship abuse. Contact us today or seek support from our sister non-profit NoSilence NoViolence at https://www.speakingoutnsnv.org/ .

6. Don’t assume your boundaries are known As you now know, boundaries can be different for each relationship. Thus, you should not assume that your family member, friend, or partner knows what your boundaries are. Instead, you should communicate your boundaries clearly and allow the opportunity for open conversation around these boundaries. You are more likely to have success in setting boundaries if both parties in the relationship have a firm understanding of what these boundaries are.

7. Communicate your boundaries When communicating your boundaries, it is important to use clear, specific, and direct language. Using “I” statements can be especially helpful to reduce defensiveness and hostility when presenting boundaries. Boundaries are for you, not anyone else in the relationship.

8. Enforce your boundaries Successful boundary setting requires a response plan for when boundaries are crossed. We recommend considering the consequence while determining your boundaries as it can be difficult to determine next steps amid an emotional reaction. The following phrasing can help: “My boundary is ____. If my boundary is crossed, I will ____.”

9. Be consistent When you set a boundary with someone, you are teaching them how to interact with you. It is important to be consistent in your enforcing of boundaries to avoid confusion and emphasize that your boundaries are not open to interpretation.

10. We recognize that setting healthy boundaries in relationships takes practice. Through patience and a thorough understanding of your relational needs, you can work towards healthier, happier relationships and increased security. See our boundaries tool below for support in organizing and understanding your negotiable and non-negotiable boundaries

12. How we can support you If you are looking for additional support related to boundary setting, our relationship coaches are here to help. Whether you seek support in understanding and communicating your boundaries or other facets of healthy relationships, our coaches are relationship experts equipped to support you on your journey to more fulfilling and healthy relationships. The Jessica Yaffa Coaching Institute offers relationship coaching for both individuals and couples seeking to better understand themselves in the context of an intimate relationship. Our coaching sessions are tailored to meet your unique needs and often surround topics related to self-worth, unhealthy relationship dynamics, toxic patterns, and communication.

13. We are also excited to share upcoming virtual workshop opportunities led by our relationship experts. Visit our workshop page here to learn more about this offering and others, including our healthy relationships workshops for youth designed to help young individuals build confidence in setting boundaries. By participating in these workshops, attendees will gain practical tools and strategies for fostering meaningful connections and setting healthy boundaries in relationships. Our mission is to empower individuals of all ages through healthy relationships workshops for youth and adults to create stronger, healthier connections in every aspect of life.

14. Thank you! www.jessicayaffa.org 858-413-6063 jessica@jessicayaffa.org