Some Psychology for Preachers

1. Some Psychology for Preachers

5. Sources of guilt feelings [1] • • Falling short of others’ or your own expectations. • • Not forgiving yourself • • Being guilt tripped by others, who often unconsciously try to get others to join in their scheme- Martha guilt tripping Mary for not helping enough with the cooking, and seeking to get Jesus involved in the trip, is a classic.

6. Sources of guilt feelings [2] • • Oversensitive or dysfunctional conscience. Parts of our conscience are learnt within our upbringing or culture, leading us to feel guilty for some things which aren’t sinful. • Survivor guilt- feeling guilty that you survived when others did not, or feeling guilty about what you had to do to survive.  • The experience of temptation can make us feel guilty. But Jesus was perfect despite being tempted in all points like as we are (Heb. 4:15,16). •   • We may confuse guilt with shame. Shame is related to falling short of others’ expectations, that’s all. It may be that in early childhood we were shouted at by our mother one Summer for taking our clothes off and walking naked on the balcony. Perhaps she said: “Shame on you!”. And every time we take our clothes off outside in Summer- we may be tempted to feel shame.

7. Dealing with the Past [1] • 1)Thank God for His gifts given. When Joseph told his brothers about how far God had advanced him in Egypt (Gen. 45), this wasn’t bragging, but rather a deep gratitude which had helped him deal with his past. Some are so focused on the damage done to them that they need our assistance in perceiving God’s gifts / grace to them.

8. Dealing with the Past [2] • 2) Recognize that sometimes God doesn’t heal us. Other times, as with Joseph remaining in prison for another two years after he had interpreted the cupbearer’s dream, God delays the time of healing. He knows best.

9. Dealing with the Past [3] • 3) Share the memory with God. This involves returning to the memory of the original event causing the problem. This will arouse the emotions, and they need to surface for them to be healed. Encourage the person to speak and write about the original memory.

10. Dealing with the Past [4] • 4) Replace the hurt with love by forgiving those involved in the painful memory. This forgiveness has to be given unconditionally and irrespective of repentance. The focus then ceases to be on the hurt, but on change and growth.

11. Dealing with the Past [5] • 5) Become thankful for the memory, believing that truly “all things work together for good”. Look for the “good” in the situation. Joseph clearly did this when he comforted his brothers that “You meant it for evil, but God intended it to save lives” (Gen. 50). In this way we can do as Paul said and modelled in 1 Thess. 5: “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”.

12. Interpersonal Conflict

13. Myths About Suicide • “• People who talk about suicide never do it—they just want attention. False. Not everyone who talks about suicide actually does it, but most people who commit suicide do tellsomeone before doing so—as a cry for help. Any serious statement about suicide is a real danger signal and should not be ignored.• Adolescents are much more likely to commit suicide than adults. False. The adolescent suicide rate is about the same as adult rates. The people most at risk for suicide are oldermales, someone such as the retiring teacher. • People are more likely to commit suicide around the Christmas holidays, not in the spring of the year (when the school year is ending). False. The holidays have one of the lowest suicide rates, and spring has the highest.• One should not mention suicide when talking to depressed people because it may give them ideas. False. Such people often have such thoughts already and should be encouraged to express them. In fact, talking about it may discourage people from doing it”.

14. Stages in Bereavement • -          Initial shock • -          A period of anger and the need for support from others. • -          A more intense period of grieving, often involving despair, withdrawal and disorganization. • -          A period of recovery leading to the resumption of normal life.

15. 1 Cor. 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the brother: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

16. Depression • About 1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men experience clinical depression at some time in their lives. • The Bible talks a lot about the need for fellowship, of having many counsellors or close spiritual friends (Prov. 11:14; 12:15; 13:10; 15:22; 20:18; 24:6)

17. Disorders • Cognitive therapy for “All or none” problems: • - Assuming the house will flood because one tap is slightly leaking into the bath tub • - “I’m afraid of dogs, they always bite me” • - “I can no longer drive after the accident”

19. Giving a Bible talk • The Need is the Call • Consider your Audience • Teaching Style: Mark 4:33: Jesus taught the word to the people as they were able to hear it • To the Glory of God