Saying “NO” to Self Pity

1. Saying “NO” to Self Pity

2. Example of Self Pity and lack of gratitude to God for HIS blessings

3. Difference between Self Pity and Pity towards others

4. What isself pity…. Pity for oneself, especially pity that is Self – Indulgent or Exaggerated….

5. Symptoms of Self Pity • Discouragement due to some difficulties • Playing sad songs and crying • Mental picture of our problem • Negative emotions like:- -Isolation -Mood swings -Anger -Sickness

6. Statement of a depressed person found on the Internet helpline forum i'm having major depression right now, i lost all the jobs i got to, dont know where to turn now or where to start from, i struggle with my family alot lately although i'm pretty much isolated in my own room most of the day.getting fat on eating sweets, beer, and sunflower seeds, growing a nice belly that would put an average american to shameeven when i went to my favorite arcade yesterday, with my favorite clerk being there, who gives me free tokens regardlessly, i kept having this "i wanna die" face, even he told me to stop it because it made him pissed\sad.i feel like theres nobody who can help me, when in fact lots of people want to, i know they really cant and only i can do something about it, but i'm too emotionally unbalanced to do anything right now! (let me add that i got a nice layoff paycheck that can last me a couple of months, but of course i cant count on it for long)even if nobody replies, i just wanna say thanks for reading, and no, i'm not going to commit suicide (although it crossed my mind a couple of times), i know better. Posted by kingo'mountain on 02-17-2009 12:29 PM

7. Sample feedback for problem posted by kingo’mountain Why don't you go see a doctor? Maybe you need some talk therapy or even a mild anti-depressant..maybe. Some times with situational depression, short term use of medicines like paxil, or prozac or whatever are helpful. Just a thought.. Posted by Widdykats on 02-17-2009 06:01 PM Some positive excerpts from a respondent in the helpline forum… What I will tell you (and what I'm trying to tell myself) is that while you can't always just change how you feel, you can change how you think and act. You can use this tough times that's happening as the perfect enabling excuse to play the victim, or you could use this as the perfect motivation to find something that will eventually lead to a better situation for yourself. Always seek the counsel and advice of Godly people and not to any other person, who are unbeliever, as their ways are not of God.

8. Injustice Collector • An interesting name for someone who habitually indulge in self pity • These people dwell on their hurts and hardships, whether real or imagined • They enjoy thinking & talking about it • They collect and number every offense others commit against them • Search out people who can sympathize with them • They focus so much on themselves, and that is what they want the most

9. What we should do ???

10. Is self-pity God’s way ??? 1 Cor 13:5 Walking in God kind of Love, which is not self seeking and which keeps no records of wrongs.

11. Take constructive actions We should not ignore or deny when we are mistreated, but take steps to see that we are treated with proper respect, or to remove ourselves from harmful ways, than sitting idly by feeling sorry for ourselves I am reaching to God by reading bible to know the truth, as the truth will set me free.

12. Self Pity is DESTRUCTIVE • A very non-productive way of carrying on with life • It leads to BITTERNESS, UNFORGIVENESS & RESENTMENT • It doesn’t bring people together but divides them • Satan’s tool to get us to focus on our hurts/wounds/sufferings rather than the cure which is God’s love and wisdom

13. What is the solution then ? Psalm 135:14 says that God wants to be our Comforter and Vindicator. Only if we let Him be our defender, He will fight for us our battles and lead us into victory every time. Isa 61:8 – God loves justice and hate robbery and wrongdoings. He will faithfully reward His people for their suffering… seek Love and Wisdom of God

14. FORGIVENESS Consequences of Un-forgiveness • Built up negative emotions • Ill feelings developed with one another • Can only receive comfort and healing that only comes from GOD

15. Truth & Promises • God suffered just like us • God personally rescued His people from hurt • In HIS love and mercy, He redeemed His people • God hurts when we are hurt • God wants to be our deliverer

16. But the problem is….. We can block Gods efforts to comfort and rescue us when we hold onto our feelings of resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness. Only as we choose to involve God, all blessings and provisions will follow. We supply effort to come out of self pity and God will supply the power

19. THANKFULLNESS 1 Thess. 5:18 says Thank God in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus. No matter what’s going on with our life, we always have reason to give thanks to God. God is displeased when we dwell on our misfortunes and losses, and neglect to recognize all the blessings that God gives us daily.

20. Summary • Self pity is our worst enemy and if we give in to that, we can never do anything good in this world • We have been chosen by God to live eternally with him in heaven and also to make a difference for Him while we are still on earth • Let not allow self pity to neutralize all the good we can do in this world in the name of Jesus

21. Prayer Lord, please alert me whenever I begin to feel sorry for myself. Keep me from being overly-sensitive and self-absorbed, and teach me to bring all my hurts and hardships straight to You. When I do, heal and comfort me the way only You can. Give me the grace I need to forgive others quickly and thoroughly, and to praise You in all things. Thank you that as I resist self pity in the power of Your Spirit, I will be rewarded by a gracious and grateful God.